


Bad Things Coming

by Kashoku



Series: A Twist in the Myth [2]
Category: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Reality, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 81,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1384513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashoku/pseuds/Kashoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With every passing day Kashoku and Kage become closer to their teams, but further away from the things that brought them to Earth. When tragedy strikes the SGC, relationships will shift and Sereclipse will never be what it once was. Meanwhile, Spira has begun sending its own teams through the Stargate causing a shift in power of the factions that will change the planet forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ah! The second book for ATITM! Things will finally REALLY start to get going! Thanks for hanging on this long, and enjoy the continued ride!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kashoku’s alarm went off in a raging thunder against her ear. Kage must have changed the settings on her phone again, because this was most definitely _not_ her usual alarm tone. With a heavy groan she sat up, flipping her long hair out of her face and reached over to dismiss the obnoxious tune. With silence pleasantly filling the room again she called out, “Daniel?” Looking over her shoulder at the other side of the bed she saw that the sheets were pulled up and the pillows were propped up neatly against the headboard. “You made your side of the bed?” she muttered angrily to herself at the sight. With an agitated huff she flung the covers off of her enough to disrupt the neatness of the other half and hopped out of bed. “Daniel!” On bare feet she padded through the hallway towards the kitchen. The smell of coffee lingered in the air, which was hopeful.

Sure enough, Daniel was there at the counter, fully dressed and bag in hand as if he was ready to walk out the door. He looked up over his travel mug, “Oh, good. You’re up. Is it going to take you long to get ready? I have an early meeting I need to get to.”

Kashoku bit at her lower lip, trying to keep her frustration at bay. “Why didn’t you tell me I needed to get up earlier? Or better yet, why didn’t you just wake me up?”

“You were already in bed when I remembered it, and I didn’t want to wake you up.” He shrugged. “Can you at least wait to put your make-up on in the car?”

That did it. With an angered huff Kashoku flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms. “Go. I’ll see you at work.”

Daniel frowned. “How are you going to get there?”

“I’ll figure it out! Go!” With a deep breath she added kindly, trying to salvage the situation, “Don’t be late to your meeting.”

Daniel seemed to hesitate before finally acquiescing. “Alright, bye.” Grabbing his keys from the counter he left Kashoku alone in the apartment.

Scrolling down her contacts list on her phone Kashoku found Wells and pressed dial. Although she had recently gotten her license, she didn’t yet feel comfortable to have her own vehicle and drive herself around without supervision. Daniel was her ride to work, and she was too emotionally exhausted to continue their fighting.

“ _What? I’m not late yet!”_ Wells’s groggy voice answered the phone.

It made Kashoku smile. “I’m not calling because of that. I was going to ask if you had left yet, but I’ll take your answer as a no.”

_“Nah, I might have probably just woken up. What’s up?”_

“I need you to give me a ride. Daniel was trying to be nice and let me sleep thinking it was my day off, so I was late getting up.” The lie slipped easily off of her tongue. It had become increasingly easier over the past few months when her relationship with Daniel was brought up with her peers.

_“So he left you.”_

“No, he was going to be late so I told him to go,” she rebutted. That part was at least true. Kashoku knew Daniel would have waited had she asked, but the uncomfortable drives to and from work with him lately had her wanting to avoid it at every cost.

_“Uh-huh. Yeah, I’ll be over there in an hour. Text you when I’m a few blocks out.”_

“Thanks, Brandon.” She hung up the phone and began changing, relieved that she had found a way to work, but still agitated at hers and Daniel’s fight from the previous night trickling into the next day. It was childish. With not much time before Wells arrived, Kashoku haphazardly threw on a quick face in the mirror and put her hair up in a messy bun before heading down to the lobby of the apartments. Not a few minutes after receiving his text, Wells pulled up in his sports car.

“I owe you,” Kashoku grinned thankfully as she threw her handbag in and settled into the passenger’s seat.

“I’ll add it to your tab.” He winked and shifted the car into gear before it was off again.

They stayed in a comfortable silence for the majority of the trip, too sleep ridden to attempt real conversation. The sun was just now starting to rise on the other side of the mountains. As they began the ascent up the mountainside to the base Wells brought up the topic Kashoku had hoped would not come up.

“So you two are fighting, huh?” He asked casually.

“I never said that,” Kashoku responded calmly. “I told you what happened. Why are you questioning it?”

“Because Daniel was part of our brief yesterday for today's mission,” he pointed out. “He knew you didn’t have the day off.”

Oh. Sucking in a deep breath, she decided to simply admit the truth. “We might have had a disagreement last night that could have easily caused us both to forget those minor details.”

“About what?” he asked curiously.

Kashoku rolled her eyes at the mere thought of the fight. “Yevon forbid-”

“God,” Wells corrected. He and Carr had played huge factors in her assimilation to Earth’s culture, and correcting her lingo was their favorite thing to do – especially when it came to trying to add cuss words into her vocabulary.

“ _God_ forbid I leave my makeup on the bathroom counter because there is nowhere else to store it with all his artifacts taking up every shelf in the apartment. And I’m not allowed to touch anything anymore after I accidentally broke his stupid African fertility statue!” When Kashoku looked over at Wells, he was giving her the most amused grin. “What’s so funny?”

“Seeing you worked up like this.” He gave a low chuckle before licking his lips thoughtfully. “But seriously. How long has this been going on?”

Kashoku sunk deeper into the seat, arms crossing. “I don’t know. A few weeks I guess?”

“Really? Because this isn’t the first time you’ve asked me to give you a ride. Or Carr. Or Ramirez. I know you’ve even asked Rodd once because we were all gone. You think that just because you ask different people that we don’t all talk and notice something is going on?” Wells raised an eyebrow, waiting for her answer. “I cringe at the thought of you having to call Bentley for a ride.”

“That wouldn’t happen in a million years,” Kashoku assured. She debated on whether or not to continue downplaying the situation with Daniel, but if she knew Wells as well as she thought she did, he was already well aware of their relationship issues. “Fine. It’s been…off and on again for probably the past month. Things were going really well when I first moved in. Then…I don’t know. Guess you learn a lot more about someone when you live with them.”

Wells gave a snort as they cleared security and moved underground to the parking area. “Ain’t that the truth. It’ll drive you crazy. The makeup thing sounds like a pretty typical argument, but I don’t like that he so easily left you to find your way to work. What if one of us can’t give you a ride one day?” He put the car in park and turned it off. “It’s bullshit, Kash.”

“I know, and he would have waited if I had asked,” Kashoku groaned in agreement, stepping out of the car. “We’re working on it, okay? Can we just go to work now?”

“If he hurts you, I’m obligated to kill him, you know,” Wells promised.

“Get in line behind Kage,” Kashoku smiled. With that they moved into the comfort of their usual routine, passing through security with the newly added hand scanner after the last lockdown. Kashoku had acquired full clearance the moment she moved in with Daniel, but it never failed that she was still always coming in and out with someone. She and Wells parted ways at the locker rooms and in a comfortable silence she went through the motions of changing into her uniform. Wednesdays were blue days. Hair firmly tied back in a long ponytail she selected the button on the elevator for a few floors up to the mess hall since she had failed to grab herself any sort of meal prior to having to hitch a ride with Wells that morning. Daniel had been pushed to the far reaches of her mind until she regretfully saw him standing in the back of the line she was now approaching.

Sucking in a deep breath through her nose she took up the space behind him with a smile. “Make it to your meeting on time? Was it for an upcoming mission?”

“I did, thanks, and yeah. Mission isn’t until tomorrow, but there was a lot to debrief,” Daniel responded, hands firmly shoved into his pockets.

It wasn’t the right time, but Kashoku couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry that I broke your artifact and I’m sorry that I kind of took over the bathroom.”

For a moment Daniel looked like he might try to argue, but he closed his eyes apologetically and ran his fingers over his temple. “I know. I just…I don’t know. I know you didn’t mean it.”

Kashoku felt her jaw clench in small irritation at the lack of any kind of real apology, but it was a good start. “Daniel, we barely see each other, even when we live with one another, and when we are together we do nothing but fight. We start out having normal conversations that escalate into arguments. Our rides to and from work hold valuable time we could be spending with one another, but lately it’s been nothing but an insatiable silence. It’s not fair.” Kashoku thanked the server with a smile and she took her tray and followed Daniel to a table.

“Fair?” Daniel’s soft face turned back into the harsh lines she had been seeing so frequently of late. “What’s fair about you constantly deciding to go out with Captain Wells and Carr instead of coming home and spending time with me? You sneak in at two and three in the morning hoping I don’t notice that you smell of booze and smoke!”

“I invite you out every time we go do something and every time you say no!” Kashoku argued back irritably.

“I don’t _want_ to hang out with them, Kashoku!” he exclaimed, his voice carrying further than he intended. “I don’t even want _you_ to hang out with them! They are bad influences! There are so many dangerous habits – _especially_ when Captain Bentley is involved – that you could pick up from them and you wouldn’t know better!”

Kashoku could feel the shock and anger slam into her. “Why are you insinuating that my teammates would purposely expose me to something potentially dangerous and harmful?”

“Because I don’t know them, Kashoku, and already they are exposing you to gateways. I’m worried already that they have you drinking way too much, and Wells smokes like a fiend!” Daniel continued to argue, trying to show some sort of sense of concern rather than anger, but instead getting some sort of mix of the two that only added to Kashoku’s irritation.

“It’s called being social, Daniel,” Kashoku glared. “We usually only have a few drinks – if that – when we go out. Believe it or not, we are all capable of being adults and controlling ourselves when we do. You are sitting here acting as if I come home blasted every night, incapable of functioning the morning after. You would know that I didn’t if you ever bothered to stick around in the mornings! And yes, I go out with them all the time because they _want_ to spend time with me. You never ask to do anything. It’s always ‘I have too much work to do.’ So don’t play that game with me!” Sucking in a shaking breath through her nostrils she decided against continuing on with their argument. It wasn’t worth it. “I have a mission to get ready for.” Leaving her food completely untouched she got up and left.

She needed to see Kage. With determined haste she made for SG-11’s office, and was greeted with their usual robust vulgar.

“Well, well, if it ain’t ‘Five-dolla-love-me-long-time’,” Bentley wiggled his eyebrows as Kashoku entered.

Kashoku had never seen the movie the reference was from, but Ramirez had explained it to her once, and it was insulting. Unfortunately, it was part of the SG-11 package, and she had learned over the past few months to tune Bentley out of most conversations. Even more unfortunately, he often made it a point to be noticed by her. Today, however, he seemed content to leave her alone once Kage gave the back of his chair a warning kick.

She had instantly picked up on Kashoku’s distress. “ _Dou shita no_?” Taking a good hard look at her friend, her eyes narrowed in anger. “ _Kare ga naniwoshita?”_

“I’m just…” Kashoku sighed as she took a seat on Kage’s desk. “I’m tired, Kage.”

Kage’s body straightened, jaw clenching. “I'll kill him.”

Ramirez raised a curious brow from across the office. “Trouble in paradise, _puta bonita_?” The usual smile that the nickname received was nowhere to be found. Sucking in a breath, Ramirez abruptly announced to the room, “Alright, anyone with a dick needs to go whack one off in the gym.”

“Nah, I took care of that a few minutes ago,” Bentley replied cheekily.

Ramirez glared murder at him. “Out, asshole. I don't care if you go take a shit or go for round two but fuck off for a bit.”

Bentley groaned. “But the gym's so far away! And baby, you know if you aren’t there I don’t have nothing to whack off to!”

Rafe had to muffle his snort, but he grabbed hold of his teammate’s arm and pulled him up. “Come on, man, let’s let the ladies do their thing.” Bentley gave a whine of protest, but left the office without much fight beyond telling Kage not to open her filing drawer anytime soon.

There was a long disgusted silence where all three of them stared at the drawer in question, even though two of them knew for certain Bentley hadn't actually had the opportunity. Finally, Ramirez rolled her eyes and turned back to Kashoku, deciding to be the one to break the ice. “We’ve all held our tongues this past month, trying to respect your privacy with Jackson, but this is it. I ain’t buying it anymore, _puta_.”

“Oh, god,” Kashoku groaned, fighting back the urge to cry. “Does everyone know?”

“No,” Ramirez assured, “but we're practically your teammates we work together so much, and if we don’t notice these kinds of things we don’t deserve that title. You’ve been coming up with all these excuses why he’s treating you the way he is, and I’m done with it.”

“Stop,” Kashoku said firmly, her fingers gripping tightly onto the edge of the desk. “It’s a two-way street, okay? I’ve played my hand in this just as much as he has.”

“Yeah, whatever, _puta._ I'm not saying you aren't an annoying cunt some days – I totally believe you give as much shit as he does, but you didn't come to us for impartial, fair opinions. I’m obligated to take sides, and his ain’t the one I’m taking,” she pointed out plainly. “I’m kind of with Kage on the whole ‘not liking him’ thing.”

With a hesitant glance Kashoku looked to her best friend. Kage had a hardened jaw and darkened eyes. It was clear that she was holding something in. Blowing out a hot breath of air through her nose, she caved. “Just say it, Kage. You told me so.”

“Yes,” Kage agreed quickly, “I did. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy it isn’t working out. The offer to kick his ass is always on the table, Kashy. In fact, it’s really not an offer but a promise. Dump his ass and be done with it.”

Kashoku huffed in disapproval. “No, thank you. We’re going to work it out, I know it.”

“You’re all about those second, third, fourth, and fifth chances, aren’t you, _puta?”_ Ramirez hummed with disapproval, her weight shifting in her stance as she crossed her arms.

“I traveled millions of light years to be with him. If you did that, wouldn’t you do all that you could to make it work?” Kashoku asked, hoping if she told herself that enough that maybe even she would believe it. Although a part of her still honestly believed that things could get better again, that hope had been dwindling with every conversation she and Daniel had.

“Nope,” Ramirez answered plainly. “Especially not when that light year travel takes less than a fucking minute. But seriously, sometimes you can’t fix what’s broke, and you just have to go find a replacement.”

Kashoku had come to the two women in hopes of comforting words, but had received the exact opposite. With a determined face she expressed with full certainty, “We are going to make this work.” Sliding off the desk she left the office and made for the comfort of her own team. They were slated to head out soon, anyway. Wells and Carr were absent from the room, leaving the southern ginger as the only person in the office. It was actually somewhat relieving. “Morning, Jeremy. How are you doing?”

He smiled from his desk. “Pumped, ma’am. I’m excited to work with the Algorians on their shield system. I haven’t really felt useful on a mission in a while.”

“Don’t kid yourself, you are always useful.” She smiled as she put a supportive hand on his shoulder. “You promised me you would invite me over one night and introduce me to NASCAR, your guilty pleasure!”

Rodd responded with a bright smile. “Season hasn’t quite started up yet, ma’am. And it is my guilty pleasure. The sport is so often tied to negative connotations for fans, but I grew up right next to a major venue for it. Kind of hard not to expose yourself to it. I promise as soon as the season starts up to invite you over, although watching on TV is nothing like seeing it firsthand.”

“Look forward to it!” Kashoku beamed brightly, already feeling better with the mission at hand. “I guess Brandon and Robbie are already getting ready?”

Rodd gave a nod. “The major asked for them beforehand, but then they were headed to the locker rooms. We should probably get going as well.”

Kashoku nodded. “Alright then. Shall we?”

~*~

Kage hated briefings. They were the bane of her existence. At least this time it was only General Hammond giving the brief. Once scientists involved themselves it was a gun to her temple. Kage had been pulled in on this mission due to the heavy presence of Jaffa. Whatever was on the planet was valuable enough for the SGC to want to get on the people’s good side, and that meant helping them with their Goa’uld problem. Apparently, whatever System Lord had claimed Gwarrin hundreds of years ago had never been back to check up on it, leaving the Jaffa to just run amok. It sounded like an easy go in and massacre as far as she could tell. Why they needed to sit here and talk about tactics for an hour was beyond her. She could make quick work of this.

Kage, having spaced off into her own little world, didn’t notice the meeting had ended until Bentley kicked her from underneath the table. The instant glare she shot across drew a grin from his smug face. “What. The fuck?”

“Where were you hanging out that entire meeting, because it wasn’t in this room?” He grinned.

“I understand the mission: kill. Not much else I need to pay attention to, now is there?” Kage pushed herself out of the chair and rose to her feet.

“Right on,” Bentley cheered. “Let’s go perform some gratuitous violence then.”

“The things that give you a boner,” Ramirez huffed.

“Please, Margarita,” Bentley drawled, “like snapping a few bones doesn’t get your cunt all wet.”

“Only if they are yours,” Ramirez purred back.

“Shut your traps and get your gear on,” Connors finally interjected. “No more of your bullshit. This is a high risk mission and I need all of your heads out of your asses, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir,” Ramirez and Bentley responded, their attitudes quickly shifting.

Kage simply rolled her eyes. Whatever. Already in her Warrior sphere she was ready to go. This was going to be her first real mission. She had been on a few others where there had been a threat of violence breaking out, but this was the first time she was going to see real action. Her magic needed the workout, and she was happy to oblige.

Connors could sense Kage’s eagerness as he walked through the doors to the bottom of the ramp where Kage waited. His intuition intrigued Kage, and the more she got to know her leader the more she came to have a respect for his skills as a soldier. It was a long way still from even touching the word ‘like’ with a stick. “Don’t get too excited. This isn’t a fucking free-for-all,” the man warned.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kage waved him off. “Give me the target and I’ll take care of business, of that I can assure you.”

Connors made no further comment as they waited for the rest of their team. Even as the event horizon settled into place, Kage could still sense he was highly unimpressed by her remarks. Popping the crick out of her neck she readied herself and began the march up the ramp and through the wormhole, emerging into what was very predictably a forest. The locals were waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Thankfully they were on a fairly similar level to advancement as those on Earth so they wouldn’t be completely useless in the fight. SG-4 and 9 had come through earlier to lead the advance.

“Colonel Connors, I am Mira,” a woman stepped forward extending her hand in greeting. Though she hadn't spoken it aloud, her uniform and overall bearing definitely seemed to indicate some sort of rank.

“Pleasure,” Connors acknowledged. “I understand our other teams have been a great help to you, but you require a little more forceful action.” He began following Mira as she motioned them along.

“Yes. We have made a huge dent in the Jaffa forces, but we are having problems penetrating their base. They have technology that has been able to take out our forces by the numbers and they have a shield. We know where the device is and how to disable it, but we cannot get close. I understand there is a member of your team who might be able to assist with this?”

Connors glanced back at Kage. “She might.”

Kage smirked. Sounded like a job for Thief. “Tell me where and how, and I’ll take care of it for you.”

Mira gave an approving nod. “Good. I will go over the schematics with you.”

~*~

It was rare that Kashoku got to see Rodd like this. He was in a euphoric bliss as the Algorian scientist who had introduced himself as Byyr walked him through their technology. It was some sort of large touch-screen that they were working with that even Kashoku was somewhat infatuated with.

“Like a kid in a candy store,” Carr shook his head. “Glad someone is having fun around here.”

“For someone who gets to do something everyone on Earth would kill to do, you sure do complain a lot,” Ellis groaned, long ago irritated by Carr’s comments.

“It ain’t an easy job, sir, but someone has to do it and I happily volunteered,” Carr replied accompanied with a sarcastic grin.

Kashoku smiled at the friendly bantering between her teammates, but elected not to join in, deciding instead to take the opportunity she had to learn. “How’s it going?” she asked Rodd, coming to stand behind his right shoulder.

“Fantastic,” Rodd beamed. “It’ll take a lot of adjustments to our own technology, but I understand the mechanics and all the engineering behind their computer systems. It’s not fancy shields or weapons, but being able to have this interactive system could be really useful with schematics and simulations. I think given some time I could create this back on Earth.”

“That’s great!” she cheered. “I’ll be the first to test it out, right?”

He smiled at her and promised, “It would be no one else.”

Kashoku was about to continue the conversation with a question about the models laid out on the screen in front of them when a door burst open with personnel.

“Byyr! The Kyrons have destroyed Point 15! There is a hole in our shields and they are attacking!” the man burst out in panic.

“Kryons?” Ellis questioned, instantly readying his weapons.

“They are our people who were infected with a disease,” Byyr explained. “A virus that has caused them to go insane. They feed on their own kind and can pass on the disease to anyone they draw blood on.”

“Zombie-pocalypse!” Carr cried in excitement as he, too, readied his weapon.

“Let’s Resident Evil this bitch,” Well agreed with great approval.

“Kashoku, stay here and keep these two out of trouble while they try and get the shield fixed,” Ellis commanded.

Kashoku nodded and turned to Byyr. “Can you do that remotely here?”

Byyr nodded as the rest of SG-15 departed. “Yes. I can divert the power of our shield to cover the hole for a period of time that would allow us to make necessary repairs. Lieutenant Rodd, please assist me. I will begin rerouting the power here on the model,” the scientist moved to the panel where a 3D model of their shield systems beamed from the screen. “Monitor the levels and tell me how to adjust.”

Rodd nodded and began moving charts and numbers all across the screen, shouting out things Kashoku could not even begin to comprehend. Instead she turned and took a watchful eye on any entry points that the Kryons could come in through. No threat seemed to make themselves known while Rodd and Byyr shouted behind her, her breath holding for that one second danger presented itself.

“Got it!” Rodd bellowed in pride.

Almost immediately their radios began to cackle with Ellis’s voice. “ _Shield is back online, but quite of few of these things made their way through. I think I saw one headed your way. Be advised. They go down easy, but they are quick sons-of-bitches._ ”

Kashoku reached for her shoulder and pressed the appropriate button. “Understood.” Without hesitation her SG uniform was replaced with the bright pink and teals of her Gunner uniform.

“Can you protect us?” Byyr questioned, doubt in his voice.

“Better than anyone,” Rodd answered confidently.

A spark of pride flared up in Kashoku at the comment, and she only hoped she could live up to the expectations laid upon her by her teammate. A thunderous boom erupted from the door, a human sized dent now shaped in the metal. Kashoku readied her guns at her side. Sucking in a breath she let her magic flow and protective shields were cast on all three of them.

With another few body slams against the door the Kryons were through, and it was more than just the one Ellis had indicated. Kashoku and Rodd were instantly firing away, but Ellis had been right that they were quick. One lunged at Kashoku and she was able to dodge and fire a kick that stunned the creature long enough for her to get her shots out through its skull. Kashoku looked up in time to see one flying towards Rodd. Instinctively the man ducked, but the Kryon only came in contact with the shield illuminating the room in a brilliant blue. Kashoku took the moment to pull the Kryon away by its collar and place a shot between its eyes. It dropped to the floor and she quickly made work of the remaining two.

Satisfied that she had cleared the room of the threat she extended a hand to Rodd. “You okay?”

Rodd blew out a sigh of relief as he took her hand. “Thanks to you.”

Kashoku chuckled softly as she helped him to his feet. “You have a weapon, Jeremy. You have to learn to shoot it.”

“I know,” Rodd groaned in defeat.

 _“Local military says they were able to contain and have this under control. We are on our way back. Are you guys okay?”_ Ellis spoke through the radio.

“We’re fine,” Kashoku responded. “Some Kryons broke through, but threat neutralized and no harm done to us.”

 _“Roger. Be there in a few_.”

Heart racing with adrenaline Kashoku let her dress sphere dissipate. The scientists brushed themselves off and almost immediately went back to working on the repairs via the computer screen. Rodd was still shaken, even though he paid attention in great detail to Byyr’s words. Kashoku just hoped she could always be there to protect him.

~*~

It was almost laughable at how easily it was to sneak past all the Jaffa’s defenses without being detected. True, SG-11 and several members of the Gwarrin military were providing a distraction, but she was confident that she could have easily done this without it. She wondered how anyone got anything done without the use of dress spheres. There had only been two Jaffa guarding the device and she had swiftly and silently taken care of them without any trouble. Flipping her pony tail over her shoulder she began tinkering with the shield. Honestly, it would have been far easier to just destroy the damn thing, but Mira was wanting to preserve it to use it later, and it wasn’t long before the shield was deactivated and the panicked sounds of Jaffa shouting filled her ears.

With satisfaction pouring from her Kage changed to her Warrior sphere and gave her sword a twirl before running full-blast towards the fight. So focused on what was in front of them, the Jaffa were taken by surprise and fell fast and quick under Kage’s sword. Knocking the final Jaffa onto his back she raised her sword and rammed it through his gut with fulfillment. Silence fell over the base as Connors’s voice called for cease-fire. Kage pulled her sword from the corpse and smugly made her way to her team.

“You did it! Thank you! Your skill was very impressive.” Mira praised the Spiran.

Kage gave a nonchalant shrug. “It was kind of too easy. Anymore Jaffa need killing?”

“You may assist your other teams, SG-4 and 9 if you are able to. We would greatly appreciate it,” Mira mentioned.

“You get too much pleasure out of killing things, even for me,” Ramirez uttered with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, now, we all have our kinks, Margarita,” Bentley defended her, though Kage wasn't sure she really needed _that_ as a defense. The man was already wiggling his brows at Ramirez and continuing salaciously, “Though I'm still waiting to hear more of yours.”

Connors rolled his eyes. “Immature little fucks, the lot of you.” Turning his gaze to Kage he raised his chin. “Well done. Finally putting all your talents to use. Has to feel a lot better than sitting around the SGC all day.”

Kage clenched her jaw. The truth was, she _had_ enjoyed it - immensely. It felt good going out and doing something for once. Not that she was going to admit that to Connors any time soon. “It’s not Spira, but it’ll do,” she said.

There was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Well, let’s not disappoint. Might as well give the guys a hand towards the north. We’ll be happy to sit back and let you take care of it, if you want.”

Kage snorted. “You’ll just get in the way if you don’t. My finger sometimes tends to slip and I don’t notice the difference between friend and foe.” Connors simply grinned that toothy grin that irritated the fuck out of her. It was almost scary. Almost.

The debriefing killed any high that Kage had been on from her killing spree. Connors spewed out nothing but words of praise towards Kage and how helpful she had been. Kage had never been one to enjoy being commended for her actions. She was a fear driven person, and would rather people be in awe over her in a negative light. Although this would mean she would more than likely start going on more missions where there was the potential for action, it would also mean she’d start going on more missions where there _wasn’t_.

But it might mean going on more missions with Kashoku and less time spending time in her room by herself. With a frustrated groan she admitted to herself that maybe this was working out. Thoughts swimming in confusion she followed behind Ramirez to head for the showers. Once done she sought out Kashoku who was working on her mission report. It took her a lot longer than the other members of her team, but she had improved greatly over the past few months in her writing abilities.

Kashoku beamed when she noticed her friend. “Hey! How did it go?”

“I pillaged and plundered: what I do best. It was fun, for all five seconds it took me to eliminate the threat. Honestly, Kashy, it’s embarrassing to think that Earth has such a hard time fighting the Jaffa,” Kage huffed.

“Your face is embarrassing,” Carr muttered from his desk area.

Kage gave him a glare while Kashoku chuckled. Kashoku brushed a strand of hair out of her face and smiled. “I’m glad it went well, Kage.”

Kage shrugged. “How was your gallivant across the galaxy?”

“Okay,” Kashoku mused. “We ran into a local fiend, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. We are finally getting the next two days off. That’ll give me a day to do something with Daniel.”

Kage rolled her eyes at the mention of the archaeologist, but she knew better than to bring the subject up in front of her teammates. “Yes, well, it must be nice to be able to go off base.”

Kashoku sighed. “Give it time, Kage. You knew this would happen. Keep doing well on missions and it’ll give the Pentagon more of a reason to allow you some freedom.”

“Whatever,” Kage mumbled as she fiddled with one of Kashoku’s pens. “Bentley wanted to introduce me to some of the games they have here, so I’ll at least be occupied for a while tonight.”

“I’m glad you are getting along with them,” Kashoku admitted. “I was worried with all the strong personalities you all might have some issues.”

“Oh, there are some issues alright, but it could be way worse. Ramirez and Rafe are alright, and Connors at least knows how useful I can be out there. I am caught between a never-ending battle of wanting to kill or praise Bentley though. There’s always such a fine line,” she complained.

“Kill. The answer is always kill,” Wells piped in.

Kashoku gave another laugh. “Well, either way. In terms of ‘Kage’ things are going well.”

Kage shrugged again. “Meh. Well, I should leave you to your report. I already finished mine.” Kashoku gave her a glare as she walked out.

~*~

Kashoku was still trying to finish up her report as Wells and Carr began wrapping things up for the day and were ready to head out. Both men had offered to help, but she had refused, wanting to do it herself. Wells asked if he needed to stay to take her home, but Kashoku waived him off, assuring him that Daniel would do so. Things had been rocky between them that morning, but she was determined to make things right on the ride home.

Kashoku hadn’t noticed that Rodd had gone out and changed to his civilian clothes when he approached her desk. “Headed out?”

“Uh, yeah,” Rodd nodded. “But I…I. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to my place and have dinner? Just as a way of saying thank you.”

Kashoku gave him a puzzled look. “What for?”

Rodd bit at his lower lip. “For everything. You are the only one who stands up for me against Captain Carr and you encourage me all the time. I mean, our team is far from mean or anything, but I guess I’m an easy target. I just… Thank you for being there for me.”

Kashoku could feel her heartstrings being tugged on with a great deal of force. “You don’t need to thank me, Jeremy. It’s a common courtesy you deserve. You and Major Carter are the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

Rodd’s pale skin flushed bright red bringing out the freckles spattered across his cheeks. “I’d still like to make you dinner. I haven’t had a good southern meal in a long time. Fried chicken and grits makes too much for me to eat, but no one can beat my momma’s recipe.”

Kashoku had wanted to spend the evening with Daniel. She had wanted to make peace, but it was a much easier decision for her than it should have been. “I’d love that. I was just sending off this report and then I’ll go change. Meet you back here in a few?”

Rodd gave an enthusiastic nod. “Sure. I’ll be happy to take you to Dr. Jackson’s place when we are done, too.”

“Great,” Kashoku smiled. She sent off the report to Hammond and then headed to the locker rooms to change. She hadn’t worn the best outfit this morning, but she supposed Rodd wouldn’t really care.

“Going out?” Daniel called to her as she made her way back to the elevator.

Kashoku turned around, Daniel approaching in his own civilian wear. She felt her heart sink. “Yeah. Jeremy invited me to his place for dinner. Apparently his mother’s recipes are the best around.” She gave a small laugh as they entered the elevator together. “I’m sorry; I thought you might be working late tonight. I’m not trying to -”

“Don’t,” Daniel interjected. “You don’t need to be sorry. I’m the one that should apologize about my comments earlier. I shouldn’t have made those accusations. I know you are getting close to your team, and that’s how it should be. They are your family.”

A weight lifted off of Kashoku’s shoulders with the apology. “At the same time, I need to make more of an effort to do things with you.”

“Well, the same could be said for us both,” Daniel admitted. “Go. Have fun. Nothing beats a good home-cooked southern meal. I’ll catch you later tonight?”

“Of course.” Kashoku smiled as the elevator doors opened and she stepped out on her floor. She could feel a new bounce in her step as she approached the office. Beaming she stuck out a hand towards Rodd. “Let’s go!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kashoku’s relationship with Daniel seemed to finally be going back uphill again. When they were at the SGC at the same time, Kashoku had begun spending the time back in Daniel’s office whenever she was able to and with it caused Kage to spend more time with SG-11. Everything seemed to be back on track, and Kashoku finally found herself able to sleep soundly again because of it.

They both had somehow managed to get off early and Kashoku had convinced Daniel to go out and run some errands while she helped do chores at the apartment. Pulling a recipe book from the counter she began flipping through the pages for the one she was fairly confident she could muster up without burning the place down. It was a simple pasta and salad, but she hoped that Daniel would appreciate the effort none-the-less. Setting the water on the stove to boil she headed for their shared room to begin on her next project.

Opening the closest and shuffling through a few of the items had her cringing with embarrassment. She _had_ kind of taken over the entire place. With a longing sigh she began pulling out all the items that were hers and placing them neatly on the bed. She had a lot to do before Daniel got home and not a lot of time to do it in. Thinking about easily she would get distracted she headed back to the kitchen and set a timer for herself before diving into the work.

When Daniel called out his arrival Kashoku had just managed to finish her project and begin setting the table. Daniel walked in with several bags in toe and wide eyes. “Wow, you made dinner! It smells great!” Dropping the bags onto the counter he leaned in for a kiss.

“Thank you,” Kashoku beamed. “I just hope it tastes as good as it smells. And look!” She waved her hands out towards the stove, “I managed not to burn anything!”

“I’m proud of you,” Daniel admitted proudly. “No one would ever know you came from a different planet.”

“Wouldn’t go quite that far, but we’re working on it.” Kashoku reached up into the cabinet to pull down to cups. “It’s almost ready. Why don’t you go freshen up? I’ll pour us some wine.”

“Sounds absolutely perfect,” Daniel sighed happily as he began shrugging out of his jacket and headed for their shared bedroom.

Kashoku grabbed the corkscrew from the drawer and began making work of the wine bottle. She knew this was one of his favorites, and she was fairly certain he had mentioned something about it going well with this type of food on their planet. She wasn’t really sure how certain alcohols went better with different types of food, but it was just another item on the long list of things she had to learn. Just as she was about to grab the glasses to take to the table she was spun around and brought into a forceful kiss. “Unf!” She cried out in surprise, but it was quickly silenced. The kiss was long and deep, leaving Kashoku seeing stars before Daniel pulled away. “Wow,” she breathed. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

“You cleaned up everything,” Daniel stated as if it were obvious. “It’s exactly the way I wanted everything.”

Kashoku felt herself blush as she tucked a strand behind her ear. “Well…see? I’m trying. I just didn’t understand at first.”

“You are making me feel like I’ve been an asshole because if I had just spoken more clearly-,”

Kashoku cut him off, “Don’t, Daniel. What’s done is done, and we’ve gotten past it, and things are ok. Let’s just keep it that way, neh?” She picked up a wine glass and handed it to him while she kept the other. “ _Kanpai_!”

~*~

“ _Final Round, FIGHT.”_

The sound of buttons being jammed filled Kage’s living quarters. Bentley was propped up on a bunch of pillows next to Kage on the bed as they battled away on the screen in front of them. Rafe was settled in the chair off to the side with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

“ _Sonya WINS_.”

“God, dammit!” Bentley threw down his control in anger.

Kage chuckled wildly with a smug smile as she crossed her arms in satisfaction. “How is it that you are so terrible at fighting even in a video game?”

“This isn’t fair, man! You can’t beat me at my own game!” Bentley whined.

Rafe laughed, “She did. Way more than once. She KO’d your ass.”

“This game is fun. We should play again,” Kage grinned as she picked up your controller again to choose her character.

“I’m not playing anymore,” Bentley shoved the controller at Rafe who took it with a pleased look.

“Humility looks awful on you,” he laughed as he began scrolling through his own character selection.

“Hate to break up the party, boys,” Ramirez’s voice barged in as the door swung open, “But it’s time to gear up. Mira from Gwarrin contacted us not too long ago. Says the Jaffa have been regrouping and they need more help. They specifically requested us – mainly Kage.”

“Finally, something I’m good at,” Bentley spoke hopefully.

Kage gave a snort. “Down, Down, Right, Square doesn’t quite have the same effect in real life, Bentley.”

“Fuck you!” Bentley growled as he brushed past Ramirez.

“Oh, someone got their dick smashed,” Ramirez hummed playfully. “Come on, you can have a re-match of the re-match when we get back.”

SG-11 suited up quickly and made it through the gate to Gwarrin. Like before, Mira was there to greet them, although there were a lot more armed forces around than before.

“I apologize, but we must ask for your assistance once more.”There was camp of Jaffa that we were previously unaware of until we were informed by one of the prisoners,” Mira explained. They had technology that kept them off our radar. We’ve been able to penetrate through, and know their exact location, but I worry about what we will face when we get there. Kage turned the tide during the last battle, and I wanted her here again in case her services were once again needed.”

“We’re happy to provide any kind of assistance you need,” Connors assured her. “Put us where you need us, and we’ll handle business.”

Mira nodded. “It is a ways to travel. We have much quicker means of travel, but we are trying to maintain the element of surprise.”

Connors nodded in understanding, “It’s no problem. We don’t mind the trek.”

If Kage had known it was really as long as it was, she would have vocally disagreed with Connors big time. They had been walking for almost two hours now with no sign of-Connors held up his hand signaling them all to freeze. Kage smiled to herself. _Finally_. He waved for them to crouch down behind cover.

 _Two O’Clock_ , Connors mouthed. He received several of nods in response as weapons were drawn to the ready. Kage watched as he began using the signals to move the people in the direction he wanted to flank the spotted troops. He looked to Kage and gave her a nod. She knew what it meant. She was to lead the attack. Silently changing to Thief she began moving with haste towards the spotted Jaffa. She didn’t know how long she’d have before they took notice, but she would take out as many as she could before it happened.

With one swell swoop of her dagger she slit the throat of the first Jaffa and quickly rammed the other through the chest before he could cry out. The two bodies fell to the forest floor and she quickly moved on to the next group.

“JAFFA! KREE!”

“Go time!” Kage shouted before grinning and charging full force. The fire-fight began raging on around her as she fought, taking them out one-by-one. It was easy to see the Jaffa were outnumbered and they quickly had the Jaffa falling back in retreat. Kage wasn’t going to let them leave here alive. She began running after them, grabbing hold of one of them by the armored collar and pulling him back before stabbing him in the chest.

“Kage!” Connors shouted at her. “Stay here!”

“They are retreating! We need to stop them before they bring in reinforcements!” Kage argued.

“I said _stay here_ ,” he barked angrily. “That’s an order, Kage!”

Kage gave a dismissive snort before changing into her Black Mage robes and running after them, picking them off with fire spells as they went. She had no idea how far she had gone tracking them down, but the Jaffa fell effortlessly beneath her magic. There was just one more unaccounted for.

“Kage!”

She turned to see Rafe running up after her. Kage rolled her eyes. “I’ve got this.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he breathed, coming to a stop to catch his breath. “The Colonel gave you an order, and you didn’t follow it. He gives them for a reason, Kage.”

Kage crossed her arms in irritation. “Why? I took care of it, didn’t I? Now I got _all_ of them.” She gave one of the corpses a fierce kick to make her point.

Rafe couldn’t help the upward twitch of his lips. “True, but what if it wasn’t all of them? They could have been falling back to another group – a trap. You’ve _got_ to listen, Kage.”

“Well it wasn’t a fucking-,” Kage was halted by the sounds of shots fired, and Rafe’s eyes widening as he suddenly fell to his knees clutching his abdomen. “RAFE!” Jaffa surrounded them, their staff weapons firing off in rapid succession. Dodging the shots she grabbed hold of Rafe’s vest and dragged him in behind a large tree.

“Bitch, I told you,” Rafe coughed, trying to make it sound like a joke as he coughed up blood through a smile.

“Shit, hold on!” Kage breathed, quickly trying to assess the situation. There were a lot more of them, and this time she didn’t have the element of surprise or the benefit of more soldiers. Closing her eyes she began focusing her magic through her veins, preparing for an ultimate attack. The sky began to darken and there was a clap of booming thunder. Opening her eyes she focuses all her energy at the Jaffa, “THUNDAGA!” The sky lit up with a blinding light as lightning struck the Jaffa around them. Bodies fell as the light subsided and the sky returned to its normal state. Kage gasped, bracing against the tree as she felt a wave of weakness overcome her.

“Kage!”

Kage opened her eyes and saw her team running for her. “Rafe, he’s been hit!”

“Shit!” Ramirez knelt beside Rafe and placed her hand on top of his on the wound. “Don’t you dare fucking die on me, sir.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe,” Rafe smiled weakly.

Connors grabbed hold of Kage and lifted her to her feet before slamming her into the tree. “This is why you fucking follow orders!” He shouted angrily, his eyes full of fury. “Heal him!”

“I-I can’t,” Kage responded, her eyes darting down to her fallen comrade.

“What the hell do you mean, you _can’t_?” Connors growled, digging his arm into her chest.

Kage winced in pain. “I don’t do white magic. I can’t heal.”

“Stupid girl!” Connors let her fall to the ground. “We are hours away from the Stargate and any kind of help! If he dies, it is on you!”

Kage had no response as her team leader ran off asking for Mira. Bentley and Ramirez were glaring at her. “I…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry don’t cut it, _idiota_! Putting yourself at risk is one thing, but now Rafe is hanging on!” Ramirez hissed.

Kage flinched at Ramirez’s words. As she looked at Rafe’s paling face she felt true guilt for the first time in her life towards someone other than Kashoku.

~*~

It had been almost three whole weeks in which Kashoku hadn’t had to call upon one of her team mates for a ride. The drive that morning was wet and gloomy as far as the weather went, but there was a pleasant chatter between the two as they drove towards the base of the mountain.

“I’ve got a briefing as soon as we get there,” Daniel chimed in. “You can wait in my lab if you want, but I don’t really know how long it’ll take.”

Kashoku shook her head, “No, it’s fine. I’m sure I have a few things I could work on in my own office. You should be done by lunch time, right? We could meet up then.”

“Yeah, of course,” Daniel smiled. “12:30 sound ok? I’ll swing by your office.”

“Works for me,” Kashoku grinned happily. “Let me know if you get caught up. I don’t think we have anything going on today really. I’m going to check up on Janet and see how their journey with White Mage is going.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate,” Daniel agreed.

They parted ways at the locker rooms as usual and Kashoku headed for the infirmary. It had been fairly quiet there the last week with no major casualties coming through the gate. “Long time no see!”

Janet looked up from her clipboard and smiled, “And it’s a good thing, too. I prefer it when I start to forget faces around here. What are you doing here so early?”

Kashoku took a seat on one of the stools by the cart Janet was working by and shrugged. “I was thinking about how we hadn’t talked about your magic progress in a while. I just wanted to make sure it was still going well.”

“So far so good,” the doctor responded gleefully as she flipped the page and began scribbling a few more notes. “A few of us have hit what seems like a plateau, but you did warn that would happen with the higher level magic.”

Kashoku gave a firm nod, “It will probably be like that for a while, but keep with it! It’ll be worth it.”

“Are you kidding? It already has been with all the lives I know we’ve saved because of Spira’s magic. Kind of makes me feel like dishing all that money out for med school was a waste,” she jested as she put down her clip board and began firing up the various monitors around the clinic. “So, how are things on your end of the world? Things still going well with SG-15?”

“They are a handful,” Kashoku chuckled as she watched Janet work, “but I can definitely call them family. Kage seems to be getting along well with her team. I’m happy. It makes me feel a little more at ease when I’m away from her.”

“Well, I haven’t had to set any broken bones because of her, so I’ll say things are going fairly well. So, what about Daniel?” Janet cast a questioning glance in Kashoku’s direction.

The tone Janet had used caused Kashoku to roll her eyes. “What is it with people here thinking they know everything?”

“Because the SGC is like a small town. Everyone knows everything,” Janet explained. “Well?” She even made it a point to stop working and wait for an answer.

Kashoku shook her head, but with a smile. “Fine, actually. Better than ever. I’ll admit things were rocky for a while, but things have been really good the past few weeks.”

“Good,” Janet nodded, satisfied. “Well, I hate to kick you out, but we have a team coming back early I need to prepare for.”

Kashoku hopped off the stool, “Sure thing. Let me know if you guys need any help!” The office was quiet as far as her teammates went, as some sort of yearly reports were due that all three men were diligently working on. It was nice to see that when they needed to be serious, they could be. It left Kashoku to read more of the book Daniel had given her on Japan’s history. She couldn’t help but let her eyes wander to the clock every so often in anticipation of her lunch date with Daniel. Unable to contain herself when the clock finally struck noon she opened up the messaging system between members at the SGC and began typing away: We still on for 1230? There was no immediate response, but Kashoku figured Daniel had stepped away or wasn’t paying attention to his computer at the time, but as 1225 started to approach she grew nervous.

“Thank GOD,” Wells groaned as he stretched up and out of his chair. “Finished with these god-awful things.”

“Major Ellis dismissed us for the day as soon as we were done. Lunch?” Carr asked as he too began stretching around in his area.

“Fuck yeah, I’m starving,” Wells responded. “Rodd, you in?”

“Sure,” he nodded.

“Kash?”

Kashoku looked at the clock. 1228. “I have plans already, but I’m good, thanks,” she smiled, hiding the nervousness with a stroke of her hand through her hair. “Have fun.”

“Well, you’ve got at least ten minutes to change your mind,” He grinned as popped his back with a few twists before all three headed for the door.

Kashoku watched with a heavy sigh, hoping Daniel would suddenly take their place. But the minutes continued to tick on and there was no response from him on the messenger and no sign of him showing up in the office. There was a brief moment of excitement as she heard someone enter, but it was squashed in disappointment when she realized it was just Carr.

“Phone. Kind of need that,” he explained as he walked over to his desk.

Kashoku looked once more at the clock. 12:55. “Hey, Robbie?”

Carr stopped a few feet from the door on his way out, “Sup?”

Kashoku turned in her chair and bit at her lip, contemplating her next string of words. “Um. Is the offer for lunch still on the table?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “Thought you had a date already?”

Kashoku shrugged, doing her best to play it off, “Rescheduled. No big deal. I won’t take long changing.”

“Yeah, no problem, we’ll wait,” Carr assured her.

Kashoku placed her bookmark and closed the cover. “Thanks! I’ll meet you in the parking lot!” On her way down she thought better of it, but decided to take a stop by Daniel’s office – just in case. Hopeful, she opened the door and stuck her head in. Daniel wasn’t there. Closing her eyes with heavy disappointment she closed the door and walked off.

True to their promise, all three men were waiting just outside security for her. “Sorry,” she apologized as she quickly made for them. “Had to make a quick stop before coming up here. So, where to?”

“Salsa Brava?” Carr suggested. “I’m craving some indigestion right now something fierce.”

“Oh!” Kashoku’s eyes lit up. “That’s the place with the really good margaritas, the watermelon ones, right? We aren’t on duty anymore, so-o-o-o.”

“Salsa Brava it is,” Wells grinned and opened the passenger side door for Kashoku as they approached his vehicle.

The quaint Mexican restraint wasn’t far into the edge of the city coming down off the mountain, so they had frequented it. It was buzzing with a busy lunch crowd, but they still managed to be seated immediately upon their arrival. It was here Kashoku learned of Rodd’s fondness of spicy foods to the point his entire face turned a far brighter red than his hair could ever be.

“God, damn, woman,” Carr interjected their conversation as he checked his phone again. “She is blowing me up over here. As soon as I told her I had the afternoon off it’s been one thing after another.”

“So go hang out with her,” Wells suggested with an apparent tone.

Rodd took another huge chunk of salsa with his chip. “Do you not want to hang out with her?”

“Not when she wants me to go with her to get a pedicure!” He cried defensively. “She seriously tries to tell me it’s ok for guys to get them and that it would make my feet look nicer. No self-respecting man gets a pedicure!”

“What’s a pedicure?” Kashoku frowned as she took another sip of her margarita through her straw.

Carr contorted his face into one of disgust. “Blegh, it’s a wallet sucking rite of passage for women. You should ask Michelle to take you out for one someday.”

“Hmm,” Kashoku agreed, curious about what it could possibly be. Suddenly she felt her back pocket begin to vibrate. Setting her drink down she reached around and pulled out her phone. It was Daniel. For a moment she contemplated ignoring it, but she figured she might as well hear his excuse. Maybe it was understandable. She hoped it was. “ _Moshi Moshi_?” However this conversation was going to go, it was not going to be where her teammates could understand it.

 _“Where are you?”_ Daniel asked irritably.

Kashoku twitched in surprise at his tone. “At lunch.”

“ _Where? I came looking for you and couldn’t find you anywhere.”_

Seriously? Kashoku couldn’t believe he was trying to put this on her. It was almost two hours past when they had agreed to meet already. “Well, _Daniel_ , as 1230 came and went, and you were nowhere to be found, I decided to take up a better offer that was extended to me.”

_“Why didn’t you come looking for me?”_

_“Yatta!”_ Kashoku responded angrily, her ability to keep this under wraps quickly failing as her teammates began staring at her in concern.

 _“Oh…wait, when?”_ Daniel asked.

Sure, now he started acting apologetic. “I messaged you around noon to confirm, and then I waited almost thirty minutes past 1230 before I came to your office and you weren’t there, Daniel! Why weren’t you there?”

There was a huge sigh on the other side of the line. “ _I…lost track of time.”_

“You forgot,” Kashoku corrected.

“ _I got caught up working on some stuff with Sam._ ”

“Understandable, Daniel, but I thought I made it clear to let me know if you got caught up! I was a phone call away. How hard would that have been?”

“ _You’re right…I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you tonight?”_

Kashoku could feel her anger diminishing as she let her body relax out of the tension, but she wasn’t quite sure if she was going to let him go that easily. “Maybe. I don’t know. But unlike some people, I’ll give you a definitive answer. _Ja_.” Hanging up her phone she waited for the bombardment of questions.

“So…,” Carr began slowly, but then no nothing else came out of it from anyone before he pulled his own phone back out. “You know, I should call Michelle and tell her you’d love a girls’ day out. I can drop you off wherever.”

“Actually, getting away from all this testosterone sounds fantastic,” she agreed, “No offense.”

“I feel the same way most of the time,” Rodd commented under his breath.

“Hey, baby,” Carr cooed over the phone, “The guys and I kind of already have plans, but Kashoku would _love_ for you to take her out on the town. She just informed me she has no idea what a pedicure is….Uh-huh, I KNOW, right?...Yeah, the one over by Wellington Boulevard? Ok, we can be there in about twenty minutes. Love you!”

“Well, there you go,” Wells smiled, “Relax with a spa day.” He turned back towards Carr, “So _are_ we going to go do something?”

“Hell yeah, let’s go shoot some shit. Rodd needs some practice anyway,” Carr grinned.

“You _will_ be nice to him,” Kashoku demanded before downing the rest of her drink.

“I was being serious, I’m going to help him, I swear,” Carr defended himself.

Rodd gave a sigh. “That is yet to be seen.”

“Meet you boys at Dragonman’s,” Carr said as he pulled out his wallet to pay his bill. Kashoku followed him to his car and they took off. “Don’t let Michelle spend all your money. Give her the opportunity and she will,” he warned.

Kashoku giggled, “I’ll just blame you and make you pay for it all if it comes to that.”

~*~

Rafe hadn’t been the only casualty, and Mira had called in their medical forces that came in means much quicker than foot. They were lucky. The medics were able to stop the bleeding long enough to get Rafe to the Stargate.

Hammond was less than pleased to see one of his people injured. “What the hell happened?” He barked at Connors as Rafe was taken away to the infirmary.

Kage clenched her jaw in anticipation for Connors to start blaming her.

Connors did indeed pay her a glance, but with a deep breath he explained, “Ambush. Thought we had them, but they had another party waiting in the rear for us. The Gwarrins had medics that were able to patch him up until we got him here safely, sir.”

Hammond seemed satisfied with the answer. “I want everyone to the infirmary to make sure you are all alright. I want the full report on my desk before end of business.”

Connors nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Kage swallowed in shock. He hadn’t told on her, but she imagined this was far from over as she made to walk away with the others and he grabbed hold of her arm painfully, stopping her in her tracks.

“My office. Right. The Fuck. Now,” he growled.

Kage nodded and began following the man on his heels and in silence to his office. When he slammed the door behind her all hell broke loose. He had her backed into a corner quick, and never before had Kage felt so _beneath_ someone.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, girl?” He barked angrily, his face centimeters from hers. “When I give you a fucking order you _follow_ it. You may be used to giving everyone in Spira the finger, but that won’t fly with me. This is Earth, and here you are a lowly piece of scum who only does what she is told.” He paused, looking intently upon Kage’s face. He might have been waiting for her to offer a response, but she gave none. “I should be marching right up to General Hammond’s office and telling him every little detail of what happened. Do you honestly think you’d just be sent back to Spira if he knew you were the reason Rafe almost died? You are _wrong_. Your ass would spend the rest of its immortal life in the deepest, darkest hole in the SGC to rot.”

Kage swallowed, “He wouldn’t.”

“Shall we test that theory?!” Connor asked. He sucked in a heavy breath before taking a step back. Kage did not move. “Too many people die here every year, Kage, and I will never have one of those casualties be from my team because of defiance, do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”

“Yes!” Kage hissed.

“This isn’t Spira. We don’t have white magic and fucking unicorns. Kashoku will not be there to fix all your fuck ups, so you better not have any.” Arms crossed he added, “This was your one. Anymore, and I will personally escort you to your eternal damnation, you hear me?”

He waited for no answer before slamming the door and leaving Kage in the darkened office.

~*~

Michelle was grinning as she scurried up and engulfed Kashoku in a hug. “Hey! I’m so excited we get to hang out outside of the bar! I couldn’t believe it when Robbie told me you’ve never had a pedicure before.” The woman took her hand and began dragging her into the salon. “We need to get two pedicures,” she smiled to the receptionist before dragging Kashoku over to a wall with hundreds of bottles filled with color. “Pick out a color!”

“What for?” Kashoku asked, overwhelmed by all the choices.

“Your toes!” Michelle exclaimed as she began searching through the various options.

That’s when Kashoku took notice of the few women that were there, their feet soaking in water while the women used the color on their toenails. “Oh!” Now she understood. Going through the rows she finally picked a bright pink polish with glitter in it. Michelle had picked out a dark red and was pulling her towards the chairs. It didn’t take long after dipping her feet into the warm water that Kashoku understood why Michelle loved this so much. “This feels amazing,” she remarked as her feet were massaged.

“I know, right?” Michelle agreed as she took a sip of her wine. “I bet Robbie would totally enjoy this if he would just come in here, but he feels it would wound his pride too much. Believe it or not, tons of guys come in here!”

“Well, I understand why he wouldn’t,” Kashoku said as she allowed herself to sink deeper into the massage chair.

“Speaking of men,” Michelle sat up straight with a grin, “How are things with yours? Having lots of amazing sex?”

“Actually,” Kashoku frowned, “We haven’t had sex in well…a while.”

“What!?” Michelle shrieked.

“I’ve never really thought about it until now, but now that I think about it, I realize that we just don’t have sex. We’re either too busy fighting or trying so hard to make up with each other.”

“Uh, make-up sex?” Michelle offered.

Kashoku shrugged, “I dunno, I guess Daniel is just not interested in it. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Michelle nodded.

“You and Robbie have been married a while, right?”

“Almost five years,” she nodded.

“Every time I try and ask relationship advice from people they are always predisposed to a biased opinion. Daniel and I have been up and down a lot lately. Our fights are always stupid and seem to last forever, but when we are happy things are great. I mean…I love it when things are great between us. It reminds me why I came so far to be with him, but when things are bad…”

“You wonder if it’s worth it?” Michelle finished. “Well, I don’t know Daniel personally, and I don’t know much about your relationship. What I do know is that a little fighting is completely normal, but if you guys are fighting as often as it sounds like, you need to address the issue. Have you talked with him about it?”

Kashoku shook her head. “We’ve talked about it once or twice, but not really.”

“Well, then you need to start with that. You’ve been dating long enough to know whether or not this is going to work long-term, you just have to see if you can answer yourself honestly. But enough of this, it’s depressing! We’re supposed to be pampering ourselves today!” She grinned as she took another sip of her wine. “What should we do next?”

Kashoku gave an unknowing shrug. “I don’t really know."

“Oh!” Her eyes lit up. “We should totally do a complete makeover. I mean, with all your traditional up bringing you’ve probably never really had a transformation. Now that you are branching out into the real world, you should have a new look to show for it!”

Kashoku was intrigued, but had no idea what a makeover entailed. “So, what exactly do we do?”

“Your hair!! We should totally get your hair done! My stylist is usually pretty booked, but I totally bet I can call in a favor, hold on.” Michelle was quickly reaching for her phone and putting it up to her ear.

Kashoku wondered what exactly Michelle planned to do to her hair. She couldn’t ever remember having anything different than what it currently was, but she was curious. There were so many different fashions on Earth that there were endless possibilities. What she ended up with, however, was not what she had expected.

~*~

“Come in,” Hammond’s voice called from behind his office door.

Connors entered, standing at parade rest behind the general’s desk. “Sir.”

Hammond motioned for him to take a seat. “I hear Major Rafe is doing just fine.”

Connors sat and gave a nod. “Yes, sir. Spoke with him a few moments ago. He was being discharged.”

“So what’s on your mind, son?” He asked with folded hands.

Connors rubbed absently at his chin. “I want clearance for Kage.”

Hammond looked away with a soft huff. “Colonel, a few good mission reports isn’t enough to get her off-base access.”

“I’m not asking for full clearance, sir. I just need a restricted pass. She would always be under full surveillance of the team,” he assured.

Hammond straightened out of curiosity. “Why the sudden request?”

“It’s no secret that my team is full of hot-heads, sir. We are the delinquents, and sometimes my delinquents tend to stray a little. My methods for team-bonding are somewhat unconventional, but they work,” Connors explained.

“And these unconventional methods require off-base access,” Hammond continued on for him. Connors simply nodded in response. With an unsure sigh he responded, “I make no promises on what the Pentagon will agree to given her track record.”

“I understand, sir,” Connors nodded and rose out of his chair.

“I’ll let you know when I know, then.” Connors turned to leave, but Hammond stopped him. “And Colonel…Is there something that happened on this last mission I should know about?”

Connors lifted his chin. “Nothing that isn’t already in the mission report, sir.”

Hammond narrowed his eyes in doubt, but nodded. “Dismissed.”

~*~

Kashoku couldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t even sure she was looking at herself anymore. She had expected a cut, a different style, but _this_. Instead of cutting her hair they added fake strands to it, giving it fullness and length, and they had changed the _color_ of her hair. That kind of thing was not heard of on Spira. Instead of the honey brown her hair used to be, it was a light blonde. She looked nothing like herself.

“Look at you!” Michelle beamed. “New, hair, new outfit! You look so young and fresh! Daniel won’t be able to resist you, now!”

Kashoku had to admit that it _did_ make her feel younger and fresh, and the royal blue of her romper really made everything pop with the shade of her hair. She wasn’t even sure if it was possible, but her eyes looked wider than ever. “It’s so different! It’s going to take a while to get used to it but…” She turned and smiled, “I think I like it!”

“I have the night off, so we should totally get the guys and hang out at McCabe’s to celebrate the new you! Invite Daniel!” She suggested.

Kashoku wondered what Daniel would think of her new look. “I don’t know. Everyttime I do invite him out he never comes.”

Michelle gave a shrug as she crossed her legs on the bench of the dressing room. “Never hurts to try. Today may be the day, right?”

Kashoku supposed it would be a peace offering if she invited him out after their fight from earlier. Running her hand through her long blonde locks she smiled with a nod. “Ok! I’ll call and let him know.”

“Great!” Michelle grinned. “I’ll let the boys know, but first we need a new outfit for me!”

“But of course,” Kashoku agreed. Carr had been absolutely right about his wife, but this was the most fun Kashoku had had in a very long time. Hanging out with her team was fun, but there was something to be said for being around another woman. Michelle tried on several combinations before finally settling on one and both women wearing their new outfits out. The sun was almost beneath the horizon when they pulled in to McCabe’s. Kashoku hadn’t heard back from Daniel, to her disappointment, but she wasn’t going to let it ruin her night.

The pub was already buzzing with people, many of whom Kashoku recognized from around the SGC. It really _was_ like their little hangout. Scanning the bar she spotted Wells, Carr, Bentley, and Ramirez around a pool table. Kashoku bumped Michelle’s shoulder to get her attention, “There they are!”

“Great! I’ll go get us some drinks and meet you over there,” Michelle gave her arm a squeeze before heading for the bar.

Kashoku’s heart was thumping wildly in anticipation. Would they like it? Or would they think it looked awful? Hands clasped behind her back she approached the table as Wells bent down to take a shot. “Hey guys!”

Wells botched the shot completely. Carr began choking on the beer he had been drinking, Bentley flashed a grin a mile wide before beginning a series of cat-calls, and Ramirez cocked in interested hip with a smirk.

“Well, well, _puta_!” Ramirez purred. “Look at you, all blonde and fierce.”

“And here I thought you couldn’t get anymore damn sexy, MHMMM!” Bentley licked his lips before receiving a pool stick to the gut from Ramirez. “Ouch!”

Carr finished with his coughing fit, pounding his fist to his chest a few more times for good measure before putting in his thoughts. “Wow. Michelle went to town on you.”

Kashoku laughed, pleased that they all seemed to like it. “She certainly holds nothing back. A new look for the new me!” Her eyes flashed to Wells who hadn’t said anything yet. He was in the process of lighting a new cigarette, his cheeks flushed red. She wondered if it was because he had been drinking, or something else. “Well? What do you think?”

He took a long drag of his cigarette before puffing out the smoke in three rings and smiling. “I think you make anything look beautiful.”

Kashoku lowered her eyes bashfully before Michelle approached with two drinks and two shot glasses. “Shots?”

“We have catching up to do,” she mentioned plainly, nodding towards all the empty glasses.

“Damn, girl, you make that hair work,” a smooth voice spoke from across the table.

“There you are!” Ramirez spoke with a huff towards the newcomer, Rafe. “I’ve been having to play with this asshole since you decided to be late.”

“Hey! We almost won…every time,” Bentley grinned.

Ramirez rolled her eyes, “You mean every time you sunk the eight-ball in? Yeah. Ok.”

“You said we were solids!” He argued back jokingly, purposely trying to irritate her.

Kashoku laughed as she picked up her shot and she and Michelle clunked glasses before downing the liquor. It was fire going down – whatever it was – but she managed not to cringe too much. “Do you play?”

“Me?” Michelle gave an offended snort. “Of _course_ I play.”

Not only did Michelle play, but she was almost as good as Wells who was the best player among them. She and Carr had almost beaten her and Wells – not like Kashoku really contributed any. Wells carried them with ease. With another game done Kashoku noticed several of them out of drinks. “I’ll go get another round!” She placed her stick against one of the columns and began heading towards the bar. Not paying much attention to where she was going she collided with a large body. “Oh, I’m so-Teal’c!”

Teal’c was beaming down at her with an amused smile. “Kashoku Yoshiko…you have done something with your hair. And when we are off-base, I am known as Murray.”

“Murray?” Kashoku laughed. “Well, ok, then. And it might be a little different. Daniel! You came!” Her heart fluttered in excitement at seeing him there, but it quickly slowed back down at his expression. “You don’t like it?”

Daniel coughed and shook his head, “Ah-no-no, it’s not that. It’s just it’s really _different_. I’ll just have to get used to it, is all.”

Kashoku tried to smile, but there was a clear disappointment in her face. Thankfully, Sam saved the day as she approached with a huge grin.

“Kash! Welcome to the blonde club!” She handed Teal’c and Daniel a beer, O’Neill hot on her heels.

“Thanks!” Kashoku grinned, her spirits bubbling once again.

Even Colonel O’Neill had something nice to say about it after a sip of his beer. “Can never have enough blondes, I always say.”

“We’re all playing pool, if you want to join,” Kashoku offered.

“Oh, I haven’t played in a while, that sounds great,” Sam agreed.

“Don’t let her or Daniel fool you,” O’Neill warned, “They are sharks, I tell you. Sharks!”

“Well, Brandon and I have beaten everyone so far, so let’s see them give it their best shot,” she winked towards Daniel who only cleared his throat.

“You play?” He asked.

“Not well,” she giggled. “Brandon kind of does everything. I’m pretty sure he just let’s me have a turn so he can have a smoke break. I’m getting better, though. I’m going to get some more drinks and I’ll be right over so we can play!” She beamed. Daniel, though, stayed behind.

He had his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “So…why did you do it?”

Kashoku got a foreboding sense of doom with his words. “I thought it would be fun. Changing hair color isn’t really something we do on Spira, so when Michelle suggested it, I did it. Besides, I am trying to fit in here, so what better way than this?” The bartender approached her and she placed her order with a smile.

“You aren’t fitting in, Kashoku, you are completely immersing yourself in Earth culture,” he frowned disapprovingly.

Kashoku turned her body so that she was facing him, hand on her hip. “Why does that bother you? I thought that was the whole point, Daniel.”

“You’re completely throwing away your Spira culture!” He explained with tense shoulders behind wild hand movements.

“ _What_?” Kashoku questioned in disgust. “How dare you accuse me of throwing away my heritage! I will always be Spiran, but I am not like Teal’c. I will not be limit myself to the confines of the SGC just to keep my authenticity intact!” The bartender returned with her drinks and she thanked him with a bright smile before shooting a glare back at Daniel. “We aren’t fighting. I don’t want to fight, Daniel.”

“I don’t either,” he agreed, “but I just don’t understand.”

“Neither do I! Why are you so upset because I changed the color of my hair?”

“It has nothing to do with your hair, Kashoku, it’s about the fact you are making all these life-altering decisions lately without me,” he argued back.

Kashoku looked like she had been slapped. “Since when do I have to have your permission to do anything?”

“No! I-,” Daniel rubbed his hand across his face. “I’m so bad at this. That’s – that’s not what I mean, either.” Taking in a deep breath he re-collected his thoughts, trying to figure out how to put them together in the right manner. “We were supposed to do all of this together. _I_ was supposed to show you Earth and all its wonders.”

Kashoku’s shoulders slumped and her gaze fell to the floor. “So that’s what it’s about. You’re upset I’m seeing the world without you.”

“Yes,” Daniel breathed, finally able to get his point across.

Kashoku felt genuinely guilty, remembering their talks on Spira about it. All the things Daniel promised to take her to go see and do. None of it had happened, and there was never any talk of it now that she was here. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Daniel, I am, but I can’t wait around for you forever.”

“Do you mean that just for cultural experiences, or relationships, too?”

Kashoku’s eyes darted up at him in surprise at the question. Her jaw clenched in irritation at the accusation as she gathered the drinks in her hands, shots in between her fingers. “There’s a game to be played.” She set the drinks down at the table. She could tell from all the looks they all suspected something, but she tried to put on her best smile to make it think their conversation was of a positive nature. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been too discrete at a distance.

“You know,” Michelle began as she approached the table. “I always find that the best way for a guy to realize how good he has it, is to make him think he might lose it.”

“I would never cheat on Daniel,” Kashoku said, shooting down her friend’s suggestion.

“I didn’t say that,” she said defensively. “I’m just saying…guys love blondes. And you know what they say: Blondes have more fun.”

Kashoku didn’t know they said that, but she wasn’t going to bring that up. She didn’t want to hurt Daniel, despite their dispute. But…maybe she should remind him how easy it would be to lose her. Flipping her hair over her shoulder she grabbed two shot glasses and strutted over to Wells with a smile, handing him one of the glasses. “To victory.”

Wells gave a smug smile, his hand holding the shot snaking around her arm so that they were linked together before taking the shot simultaneously. “To victory.”

“You can break,” Kashoku smiled towards Daniel, who glared at her behind his glasses.

“We play winner!” Rafe called in quickly before anyone else could take claim.

“Why? So you can lose again?” Kashoku teased as Daniel racked the balls.

“Baby, we ain’t gonna lose this time,” Rafe promised. "Wells can't carry you forever!"

Wells gave a playful snort. “You wanna put drinks on that, sir?”

“Wells, I know your strategy,” Rafe admitted. “You use this pretty little thing as distraction, and I’ll admit it works pretty damn well.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kashoku hummed as she bent over the pool table, positioning her stick at the cue ball and giving her hips a shake.

“I do!” Bentley raised a hand and then turned towards Ramirez. “Baby, why don’t you ever do that for me, huh? I’d do it for you!”

“Go ahead. It’ll be easier to ram the stick up your ass that way,” Ramirez responded, drawing an eruption of laughter from her peers.

“Oh the EO violations I could report from this,” O’Neill hummed.

Sam smiled and gave a nod, “I would say so, sir.” Teal’c stood beside her, grinning at the banter between teammates.

“I won’t tell if you won’t, sir,” Carr grinned.

“With the way you all act, you’d think you were enlisted and not officers,” he rebutted playfully, having no real intentions of telling on anyone.

“Because some of us were!” Bentley grinned as he held his drink up in cheers.

Daniel was not amused by any part of the conversation, eyes locking with Kashoku before she shot. She didn’t make it, but she left very little choice for Sam in the way of play-making.

The game went on, the two teams fairly even. O’Neill had been right in saying Sam and Daniel made a good team. Kashoku had not played much in the way of offense, but had done a good job defensively. It was her shot and her options were well…there wasn’t really any. She looked at the table thoughtfully before leaning down and lining up in front of a ball, but she began questioning it. A warm body pressed up against her and adjusted her pole.

“You’ll have to shoot it like that to make this shot,” Wells told her.

Kashoku pressed back slightly, contemplating it, but realizing it was not a shot she could do. “What about behind my back?”

Wells nodded as he pulled his cigarette from his mouth. “You’ll get the easiest angle that way, but it's harder to control the stick.”

Kashoku hopped up onto the table and readjusted her stick.

“Hey! One foot on the ground at all times!” O’Neill called out.

“We all agreed she could be the exception,” Carr explained. “Otherwise, it would be a little unfair.”

Kashoku stuck her tongue out playfully as she crossed her legs and rolled her shoulders back to get her lower back out of the way of the stick. She knew that the position was suggestive, and she looked up at Daniel and then smirked at Wells before sinking the ball with her shot.

“Nice shot!” Sam praised.

Daniel looked like he was holding his tongue as he sucked in a deep breath and looked away from Kashoku. She swallowed, realizing that maybe she was overdoing it. Hoping off the table she began evaluating her next move, her body stiff and straight as she prepared for the next shot. She missed, not to her surprise.

Suddenly, Kashoku wasn’t having fun anymore.

~*~

It had almost been impossible to catch Rafe alone away from the rest of the team, but two days after the incident, Kage was able to catch him in the gym on his own. He was lifting weights as she hesitantly approached him. “Hey.”

He looked over and smiled as he continued to pump out the reps. “Hey, yourself.”

Kage placed her hands in her back pockets. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

Rafe stopped. Putting down the weights he picked up his towel and wiped at his forehead. “We’ve all been there.”

Kage scoffed. “You’ve almost gotten someone killed?”

“Sure,” Rafe answered with a shrug. “We all have. Why do you think Colonel Connors thought you’d fit right in?”

Kage’s eyes narrowed in uncertainly. “So what, Connors thinks he can just tame everyone?”

Rafe laughed, “The Colonel ain’t tamed nobody. He just knows how to re-direct. We’ve all disobeyed direct orders, but we pay the price. You’ve just got decide if you are willing to pay it.” Taking a swing of his water he stood. “You look like you could vent a little. Why don’t you take it out on me?”

“So…we’re good?” Kage asked cautiously.

Rafe grinned, “Yeah, we good. And don’t worry about Bentley and Ramirez. They’ll be over it by tomorrow. Come on, I ain’t gonna hold out on you this time.”

~*~

Daniel watched as O’Neill stretched his arms up towards the blue sky of Tullin, breathing in the crisp morning air. They had yet to approach any civilization, but they were walking along a trail that held human footprints. The grass was bright green, and although there were plenty of trees around, they weren’t in the middle of a forest which was refreshing.

“Remind me to have one less beer next time,” O’Neill muttered as he cracked his neck.

“I attempted to tell you to stop while you were ahead more than once, O’Neill,” Teal’c mentioned casually.

“Yeah, yeah,” O’Neill scoffed.

Sam laughed. “It was fun last night, sir.”

“For some,” O’Neill agreed, casting a glance towards Daniel who was seemingly ignoring the conversation. “Daniel?”

“Hm?”

“Not that it’s any of my business…,”

Daniel sighed, placing his hands on his hips. “Then why are you asking?”

“Daniel, I expected the two of you to be all over each other last night to the point of making me physically nauseous, and instead you both completely ignore each other. So shoot me if I’m a little more than curious,” O’Neill explained.

“Everything between you two ok?” Sam questioned hesitantly.

“As much as I appreciate your concern, it really is none of your business,” Daniel shot back.

“Do you want some advice?” O’Neill asked as he casually walked along.

With an irritated sigh Daniel removed his glasses to begin cleaning them. “No, but you’re going to give it anyway.”

O’Neill grinned before turning serious. “Daniel, I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t really approve of the two of you in the beginning, but I think we’ll all agree that the two of you had a… _connection_ ,” he accompanied the word with air quotes. “And I think in some parallel universe that I’m sure Carter could give you coordinates to, the two of you are hitting it off nicely.

“But?”

“ _But_ , I think we all expected Kashoku’s presence at the SGC would be a lot like Teal’c, and it’s not.”

Teal’c gave an agreeing incline of his head. “Indeed, Kashoku Yoshiko has shown a high interested in assimilating with your culture, and has succeeded in doing so.”

“So what are you trying to say, Jack?” Daniel asked as he put his glasses back on.

“I’m _saying_ that you are a 35-year-old guy who is ready to settle down in his life when he’s not gallivanting across the galaxy, and she’s someone who has the appearance of a 21-year-old. And what do 21-year-olds like to do, Daniel? They like to drink, and party, and have no attachments,” he said. Daniel gave no verbal response, but the slump in his shoulders told it all. “Look, I’m not saying it won’t work itself out, but just think about it.” He placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Daniel gave a nod. “Yeah.”

He couldn’t _stop_ thinking about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kage tugged at the band keeping her hair up as she descended the ramp. Bentley called their encounter with the race known as the Jibta a ‘minor scuffle’ – and maybe it had been for someone who hid in the rear the entire time – but Kage had come away from it a little worse than what she would have liked. It was nothing even a basic white magic spell couldn’t cure, but her hair had gotten matted in tangles and it was driving her insane. With one final tug the strands broke free around her shoulders.

“Do you attract trouble or what?” Ramirez teased as she came to a halt next to the other woman.

Kage gave an annoyed huff. “Considering I’m only brought on missions where there intends to be trouble, I’d say that’s an unfair assessment.” Combing her fingers through her hair she straightened the strands back out and gave a smirk over her shoulder. “But, yes. It does tend to follow me.”

“Get yourselves cleaned up and to the briefing,” Connors ordered as he swung his weapon off of his shoulder.

There was a collective nod from SG-11 as they began to file their way out into the hallway, but Hammond approached Connors with hushed words before they’d gotten far. The team leader turned to lock eyes on Kage. She swallowed hard, mind racing back towards the mission and what she could have possibly fucked up this time.

“Kage, Hammond’s office. He has something he wants to address before the meeting. Let’s check our weapons back in to the armory quickly,” Connors spoke plainly. There was no hint of anger in his voice, but Kage had learned that instincts meant nothing with him.

Kage gave a nod and followed on her leader’s heels to the general’s office. The door was not shut behind them as it usually was in such serious conversations, so the Spiran felt her heart ease its wild thumping. “Is everything ok?”

Hammond tilted his head in astonished confirmation. “I’ll cut to the chase since I’m sure you’re both tired and would like to get cleaned up. Kage, I’m surprised to tell you that Colonel Connors’s request for your off-base access was granted – far quicker than Kashoku’s.”

Kage was shocked. She hadn’t even known that Connors had put in the request, let alone that it would come back so quickly. A part of her lit up with hope of finally being able to get out of the dungeon, but there was still heavy skepticism. “Why? It’s been easier for me at every turn to be a part of the SGC once the ball got rolling than it ever was for Kashoku. I had to go through similar psyche tests, but from what I can tell, not as many and they were nowhere near as difficult or as invasive as she said hers were. And now you’re telling me your government has given me permission to explore your planet without so much as a stutter. _Why_?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say there was no stutter,” Hammond hedged, staring at her with veiled irritation. “Your clearance is limited and subject to reevaluation at any moment. I’ll give you the paperwork detailing the demands you’re to agree to follow in a moment, but for right now I’ll just paraphrase: you’re not to go off-base without your team present, nor are you allowed off-base overnight. If there are any _incidents_ , you can kiss the sunlight goodbye. Off-base, you are still under employ of the SGC and will act in a dignified manner. Furthermore, there is to be no magic or mentioning at all of anything alien. Your team has no doubt informed you before, but the people of Earth are not in the know of what this program does. Failure to keep this secret will have dire consequences.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kage sighed, holding her hand out for the paperwork Hammond was pulling from the folder in front of him. Two copies were given to her and Connors, one left in front of Hammond. “Can I take this and sign it later or do I have to read it now?”

“Now, I’m afraid,” Hammond said, having already signed the copy before him. “The paperwork needs to be filed before you can be allowed off-base and I believe your leader already has something planned for you.”

Kage darted her gaze over to Connors, but the man didn’t bother looking at her, concentrating instead on the paperwork before him. It reminded Kage that she needed to commit herself to yet more promises if she wanted to get off this damn base and if she couldn’t take the paperwork to study and exploit later, then she needed to read it carefully so she could remember it all. Once she got down to it, it wasn’t all that bad, basically the rules she’d agreed to when allowed to stay on base. Don’t attack anyone, don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t talk about aliens where you’ll be overheard, don’t blatantly be an alien. Kage snorted, unkindly wondering how Teal’c ever got off base. Then again, the big guy never _seemed_ to be anywhere but on base. The thought made Kage uncomfortable so she quickly scribbled her name on the last page and her initials at the bottom of each of the previous ones, trading with Connors and Hammond so her signature was on each copy. Given how damn many Hammond had, you’d _think_ he’d have printed her a copy. But no, the man simply glanced them all over, nodded, and filed them away in his folder. It seemed like in his mind the matter was settled. Not so for Kage.

“Now that that’s out of the way, think one of you can actually answer my damn question?”

“What question would that be?” Connors drawled beside her, raising a brow. The motion broke loose a scab of dried blood that had trailed down from a cut just under his hairline, the wound minor and already scabbing over but serving to remind her that the both of them were filthy and no doubt getting muck all over the esteemed general’s furniture. Kage smirked back.

“The one where I asked you both why the fuck the authority outside this base are practically wetting themselves giving me passes and shit when they made Kashoku jump through more hoops than a prized chocobo. Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the subject earlier with the paperwork,” she said dangerously. “What’s the deal?”

Hammond straightened, his hands folded tightly together. It was obvious to anyone in the room that he was choosing his words carefully. It caused Kage to scoff angrily inwardly. Connors, however, didn’t seem nearly as concerned with not hurting feelings.

“It’s because you are a weapon,” he said simply, eyes deadlocked with hers. “The Pentagon will always fast-track weapons.”

Kage raked her tongue across her upper teeth, eyes hardening as she thought that over. “So then why all the fuss about how I wasn’t allowed here in the first place?”

Connors laughed, the unfamiliar sound sending chills down Kage’s spine after how long she’d spent having him yell or be cool towards her. “It was never the Pentagon that refused to have you here, Kage. It was General Hammond.”

Hammond sucked in a breath, but he didn’t refute the comment. There was no regret or shame in his posture at all; if Kage had to bet, she’d say the man still didn’t want her around. “Colonel Connors is correct. Had I ever mentioned in any report interest to keep you here, they would have jumped on the opportunity.”

“But,” Connors continued, “the more dangerous the weapon, the quicker they will cut the cord. Kashoku will always have greater leniency than you ever will here, because she is far less dangerous.”

Kage had several thoughts and emotions running through her brain. She was unsure whether to be bothered by this classification or – well – be honored. It could, in many ways, be played to her advantage. “Okay,” she offered, backing down with a disinterested shrug. “Can I go now? Caked blood is kind of starting to itch.”

Hammond looked like he wanted to somehow correct what Connors had said, but instead he waived her off in dismissal. Kage turned on her heel and casually walked out. She could feel Connors right behind her. “If Hammond was the one that refused to have me here, then who convinced him to let me on a team – you?”

“I did,” Connors admitted with a grin. “Not long after you almost broke my second in command.”

“If I’m such a threat, why risk having me around?” she scoffed. She turned her head to look at him, trying to read something in the taller man’s profile, but he seemed as impenetrable as always. There was caked blood and dirt all over his face, enough it had to have been irritating, but she hadn’t seen him rub at it even once except when the blood had trailed too close to his eye during the mission. Connors was just like that, she acknowledged, taking the shit life threw on you in stride until it became a problem, and then handling it as efficiently as possible. It didn’t escape her notice that his team, with the exception of the generally well-liked Rafe, seemed to comprise of the most annoying marines on the base, and yet they still got shit done and were more often than not the ones called in to bust other teams out of bad situations. Even Kage was beginning to listen to his orders more, and not just because Ramirez and Bentley were still being big enough dicks that she worried she’d kill them if they gave her more shit over disregarding something Connors said. She was beginning to respect the man and, to her surprise, genuinely wanted to know what he saw in her.

“We are all weapons,” he answered, unaware of the direction of her thoughts. “It’s simply to what degree. Everyone here on this base belongs to the Pentagon and is only here for a special skill set. You’re not as different as you think.”

They rounded a corner, their pace slowing as to be able to talk to one another. It made sense, what Connors said, but that still didn’t really answer the question. “Hammond has seemed dead set since the beginning to never let me on. How did you convince him?”

Connors smiled and folded his hands behind his back, more open the farther they were from his superior officer. “I played the game. You see, that is the key to getting everything you want while maintaining career success around here.”

“The game,” Kage murmured, thoughts racing. Sounded a lot more like just manipulating people, but if that were really the game she’d be able to learn it quickly, starting with the rules binding her actions off base. They approached the locker rooms and stopped in front of their respective doors. “So, when do I get to have my first outing? Hammond said you had something in mind already?”

“Tomorrow,” he responded. “Ramirez will make sure you have all the necessary equipment for the outing.”

Kage raised an eyebrow, personally wondering if Ramirez wouldn’t ‘forget’ some part of that necessary equipment out of spite. Getting Rafe hurt had dried up the woman’s good will towards Kage, but if it was an official outing, maybe she’d keep herself in line. “What are we doing?”

Connors opened his door with a dangerously toothy smile and ducked inside with a few ominous parting words: “It’ll be a surprise.”

Great. With a heavy sigh she pushed her way into the locker room and began stripping off her clothing. Once she had scrubbed all the blood off her body and been given an okay by the infirmary and through the thankfully quick debriefing, she headed off towards SG-15’s office. Kashoku was at her desk, staring absently at the computer. Her teammates all had headphones in with similar bored looks. Considering what her day had consisted of, the vacant looks were more than a little irritating, but she pushed that aside. “You okay?” she asked bluntly.

Kashoku jerked at the sound of her voice before letting out a breath of relief. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. How was your mission?”

Kage raised a brow at the lie, but let it slide as she pushed Kashoku’s mouse and keyboard aside to settle on the desk. “Bloody. Just how I like it, but everyone came out okay.” Kashoku merely hummed in response, starting to stare into space again, so Kage went for broke. “So… I got clearance.”

 _That_ regained Kashoku’s attention, her newly blonde head snapping back up in surprise. “What? That’s great!”

Kage shrugged casually. “It’s more like supervised prison. I’m only allowed out for certain time periods and it more or less has to be with the entire team at this point, who if you recall are still mostly pissed at me. I’m pretty sure the only time I’ll get to go anywhere is for some team-bonding bullshit Connors has planned.”

“But, Kage, you get to leave regardless! This is great news! Give it some time and you’ll have more freedom soon enough,” Kashoku assured. “And as soon as you do, we’ll go have some real fun! There are so many places I want to take you.”

“As long as that real fun includes alcohol,” Kage agreed with a small smile. “I’ve really missed the taste of that stuff.” Kashoku beamed back, until something in her desk drawer buzzed and her face took on a pinched look. Letting out a sigh, Kage folded her arms and looked straight at her friend. “So… How are things?”

Kashoku hesitated. “Um. Things are great. Why?”

Kage kept herself very still and kept her gaze steady on the other woman’s face. When the blonde began to fidget a little, she struck. “Kashoku. Don’t lie to me.”

With a groan Kashoku let her face fall into her hands. “They are terrible. I thought I was doing the right thing last night, but I only made things worse and now… Read this.” Kage twisted her legs out of the way when Kashoku reached for the top desk drawer, pulling out her phone and handing it to Kage.

It was already in the message screen, the tiny digital letters simply reading _Let’s talk._ Kage had to swallow the laugh that wanted to come out. “Ouch. From Daniel, I’m assuming? You know that’s the code for ‘I want to break up’, right? What are you going to do?” The back button revealed a new message she quickly opened. _Are you free around lunch?_

Kashoku took the phone back and held it close to her chest. “We can’t. Not yet. I feel like I can still fix this.”

Kage rolled her eyes as she let herself lean up against the desk. “Kash, you’ve been complaining about how things have been going south for weeks now. Don’t you think maybe this is a sign?”

“No,” Kashoku snapped firmly.

Kage’s eyes narrowed, contemplating if she should argue it, or just let her friend figure it out on her own. Seeing as she had tried route A before, the latter seemed best. “Fine. What exactly are you going to try to do to ‘fix’ things?”

Kashoku gave a half shrug in uncertainty. “Well, I haven’t fully decided yet, but I know part of Daniel’s frustration is that I’m kind of exploring and doing new things without him. So…I figured I’d think of something I hadn’t done yet and we’d go do it.”

“Hmm,” was the only response Kage could muster. “Well. Good luck with that.” She anticipated a high rate of failure for this event, and kind of hoped for it. It would be better for everyone involved if their fling just ended. “Too bad we aren’t on Spira. I’d have the greatest date idea for you.”

Kashoku shot her friend a look. “I don’t want to know.”

Kage responded with an amused snort. “Yeah, yeah. Well, definitely let me know how it goes. I’ll start placing some bets with the others.” Kashoku shot her another deadly glare, but Kage easily waved it off as she casually made her way out of the office. It would definitely be interesting to see how things panned out. But before she left…

“Ne, Kashy, you may want to figure out that date plan soon. Looks like Jackson’s trying to get you pinned down for a nice public breakup.”

“What? No!” Kashoku cried, her team jerking at the noise as she stared down at her phone frantically. “Crap! Brandon, hey, let’s go get lunch!”

Maybe it was mean, but Kage laughed all the way to the elevator.

~*~

Kashoku had found it: the perfect thing to go do. She and Daniel both had half days tomorrow, and although it wouldn’t leave a whole lot of time, it was enough. She avoided Daniel the rest of the day, not wanting to give him any excuse to possibly corner her and have their conversation before she could succeed in their outing. The next morning she timed everything perfectly, down to the second. She caught him on his way down to the locker room to change out of his uniform for the day.

“Daniel!” she called cheerfully, waving to him to grab his attention.

He looked surprised, and his brow furrowed as she approached. “Kash, hey… Did you not get my messages?”

Kashoku ignored the question and grabbed his hand to help drag him towards the locker rooms again. “Let’s go to the zoo.”

Daniel’s eyes widened in surprise, and he couldn’t help but freeze up in shock. “The… zoo?”

“Yes,” Kashoku beamed. “You said you wanted to be the one to explore Earth with me, so let’s explore! There are so many animals your planet has that we do not, and who better to see them with than you? You can teach me all about them!”

There was a long hesitation, and Kashoku was sure that he would turn down her offer. “Kash, we really…” Daniel sucked in a deep breath, and Kashoku gave him the best pleading face she had to offer. She needed this, this one last chance. Closing his eyes he let out a sigh and nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Let’s go to the zoo.”

Kashoku had to bite her lip to contain her excitement. “Good! I’ll change and meet you at your car. The weather should be perfect!” She turned and hurried into the locker room, her heart thumping out of her chest. Daniel could have taken the moment and turned it into what she had feared, but he wanted to make this work as much as she did.

The zoo was actually on the mountain and a short distance from the base. Kashoku was thankful for it, as the drive was mostly silent which fueled her nerves. They paid for their tickets and passed through the gates. Kashoku looked at the map and all the different areas. She was only familiar with a few of the animals listed. “Hmm. What should we go see first? Have you ever been here before?”

“Actually, you know, I haven’t,” Daniel answered thoughtfully. “I can’t even remember the last time I went to a zoo. On my travels, I got to see a lot of them up close and personal in their natural environments.”

“That must have been so exciting! Well, what was your favorite animal to see?” Kashoku asked, trying eagerly to spark conversation.

“I guess I was always partial to African animals since I spent a lot of time over there,” he shrugged.

Kashoku looked at her map. “So the African Rift Valley it is, then. Apparently they have ‘giraffes, giraffes, and more giraffes’. Which ones are those?”

The afternoon went far better than Kashoku could have ever hoped for. Kashoku couldn’t contain her excitement with each new animal they approached, and Daniel looked like he was thoroughly enjoying explaining everything he knew about each of the animals from habitat, to mating rituals and their place in many religious beliefs. She was genuinely interested, but when the opportunity to potentially pet some of the animals presented itself, she had to take it.

“Look! We can feed the budgies! What are those?” Kashoku asked curiously as she spotted the sign.

“Budgerigar… also known as the parakeet. They are small birds,” Daniel explained. “Native to Australia.”

“Are they pretty?” she asked.

“They are colorful. Not like a parrot, but they are definitely one of the better looking kinds.”

“Come on, let’s go feed them!” She tugged at his arm and gladly pulled a couple of ones from her purse to pay for the feeding sticks. Daniel waved on the proffered stick for himself, and told her to keep it for herself. She didn’t mind it, excited to have a greater opportunity to get up close and personal. There were very few creatures on Spira that weren’t fiends. It didn’t take long for several blue and green birds to hungrily make their way for her outreached stick. A blue one landed on her stick and began munching away happily while a green one landed on her shoulder. It cocked its head in curiosity and let out a chirp. Kashoku giggled in delight and brought the feeding stick closer to her face so that she could get a better look at the bird. It lifted its head and reached out its beak, giving Kashoku’s nose a slight peck before returning to the food.

“They are so friendly!” Kashoku spoke in awe as birds continued to come and go until the seeds were gone off the first stick. She turned her head towards Daniel, who was offering her a pleasant smile, but the look in his eyes caused her heart to sink. She was unsure of what it was going through his mind at that moment, but she was certain it was not what she was hoping for. With a heavy heart she lifted a hand and gently stroked the bird that was still happily perched on her shoulder. Kashoku was glad that they were almost back to the beginning of the zoo, for she had lost all interest in seeing anything else.

~*~

To say Kage was curious was an understatement. When Ramirez showed up at her door, she’d been instructed to wear her least favorite shirt and pants as they were likely to get ruined. Considering all of Kage’s clothes except for a few things Kashoku had bought her were issued to her by the base, it wasn’t exactly a dilemma finding something. Ramirez herself was wearing an ensemble that closely resembled their SGC uniforms, but had obviously seen some wear and tear. There were interesting random splotches of bright colors Kage figured were some sorts of stains.

“Ready for your first taste of fresh Earth air?” Ramirez grinned as they headed for the outside gate. The Latina’s attitude towards Kage that afternoon had settled back into the friendly teasing she’d actually been enjoying up until this last week. Kage wasn’t sure how to take it, but decided to cautiously play along. Ramirez didn’t seem the type to hold a grudge long, so maybe she was over her protective snit.

Kage shrugged in response, acting like it was no big deal, but she was actually quite relieved to finally be getting out of the SGC, even for a little while. She received a few looks as they passed through security, but she was given the green light and they headed into the garage. Kashoku had told her about their automobiles and she had to admit she was curious how they handled and ran. They came in various sizes, shapes, and colors in the SGC lot, and honestly Kage was glad she had someone with her to keep her on track. Her fingers just itched to take some of them apart. Ramirez led her to a smaller one, its body sleek and the color a loud red that stuck out amongst the rougher, older looking automobiles around it. Of course the woman had an expensive, flashy transport, Kage thought with an inward snort.

“You still won’t tell me what we are doing?” she asked as she took her seat on the passenger side, mimicking Ramirez’s actions with the seatbelt.

“Nah, where would be the fun in that? I wanna see your face when it sinks in.” She grinned as she shifted the car into gear and they were on their way.

There was little in the way of conversation on their journey, Ramirez turning the beat heavy music up loud enough to blow out Kage’s ears, and the Spiran was rather occupied taking in the sites. They never travelled very close to the city below, but Kage could see it in the distance. It was large, like Zanarkand, but with a lot more buildings crammed into a single space. They stayed mostly in the mountains, eventually turning off on a dusty side road that didn’t seem distinguishable from any of the others they’d passed. There seemed to be absolutely nothing around for several minutes before an arena appeared off to the left, giant multi-colored obstacles within its confines. To its right was a small building with several other vehicles part out front.

Ramirez pulled in next to them and turned off the engine. “Alright, _chica_ , it’s game time.” She smirked at the Spiran before getting out of the car and popping a hatch in the back. It was filled with guns, different models than the SGC used and strange, but distinct in their design, and masks. Ramirez pulled out the green mask and one of the guns and handed them to Kage. “These will be your best friends for the rest of the day.”

Kage settled the mask under her arm and took the gun, inspecting the equipment curiously. What kind of ammo did you use in something like this? The physical bullets the SGC favored wouldn’t work, she could tell that immediately. Curiosity began to eat at her. “This is a gun,” she stated, but she glanced up at Ramirez as she did so, wanting confirmation that she wasn’t holding some sort of prank, something that looked like a gun but wasn’t.

“What an astute observation, babycakes,” Bentley purred as he came up behind her.

Kage rolled her eyes at his comment, but paid it no real attention. “So what, we’re doing some target practice?”

“Yeah, and you’re the target,” Bentley grinned, something threatening behind the smug look.

Kage frowned, not understanding. She was all about shooting up some people, but she had been told more than once that murder was highly illegal on this world, and she didn’t see a single healer around. And even with the bullying her teammates had been giving her, the predatory looks on their faces weren’t ones of murder. Still, “You’re going to shoot at me with live ammo?”

“Nah, girl, it’s just paintballs,” Rafe assured her, having pulled up next to Ramirez just a moment before and currently digging through his own gear in the backseat of his large vehicle.

Paintballs? That still made no sense. “I don’t –FUCK! OW!” There had been a loud ‘pop’ before Kage’s leg lit on fire, or at least it felt like it had. She looked down and saw a bright green splash of paint where the pain was centered. “What the fuck was that!?”

“WHOA, WHOA, HEY!” Rafe shouted angrily, glaring at Bentley, who had apparently fucking _shot her,_ what the fuck, she was going to murder him. “Safety kill, man! Colonel Connors would destroy your ass if he saw that shit!”

Bentley only giggled with an innocent shrug while Ramirez rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath in Spanish. She didn’t look all that pissed though, a faint smirk on her lips. Kage cringed, swallowing the impulse to attack the asshole back, but that left her with nothing to distract her as her leg pulsed heavily in pain. It may not have been fatal ammo her teammate shot her with, no real damage to her flesh, but that shit hurt like a _bitch_.

“Speaking of the Colonel, where is he?” Bentley mused as he put the safety back on his weapon.

“Watching everything you idiots have been doing from inside,” Connors growled as he exited the small building. “I’ll let that one go, just because she deserves it after the last mission.” Bentley gave a cough and straightened under the other man’s glower. “I think I’ll sit this one out, play referee, while the four of you kill each other.”

Bentley shot up his hand and bounced up and down eagerly. “I pick Margarita!”

Ramirez let out a loud and irritable groan. “God dammit! No!”

Rafe snorted with amusement. “Nah, that’s cool, I’ll take Kage. I think the two of you will do great together. Besides,” he gave Kage a playful slap against the chest, “this one needs a second chance at watching my six.”

Kage cringed at the comment, still guilty for what happened despite the fact Rafe had long since forgiven her for the incident. “So how do we play?”

Connors went through the rules of his game, and although he made it clear that anything within fifteen feet was to be labeled a safety kill, Kage knew that Bentley would probably shoot her point-blank again. The pain had subsided, but she knew the shot would leave a massive bruise and it was going to be stiff to walk on. They put on their masks and gloves and the two teams took their positions on separate ends of the arena, Ramirez having gone through the motions of how to load her weapon with the paintballs.

Rafe lowered his mask as he leaned against the inflatable barrier. “Don’t take any mercy, because they won’t. Bentley will test his limits on that fifteen feet rule until the Colonel throws him out for being an ass.”

“Yeah, well, two can play that game,” Kage promised him, lowering her mask and getting in the ready position, waiting for Connors’s cue to begin. There was a moment of silence before Connors’s voice boomed across the arena.

Rafe instantly gave a hand signal and Kage responded with a curt nod before moving. She was crouched low, and was much swifter than Rafe in moving between the obstacles. Her finger twitched, instincts telling her what she should do next, but she knew there was a point to all of this, and she waited for Rafe’s orders. From across the way she saw him point to his eyes and then off towards her right. With a nod she turned swiftly on her heel and laid on the trigger as she spotted Bentley.

The arena erupted in the sounds of chaos, and it was game on.

~*~

The drive home was filled with a heavy silence, and when they entered the apartment, Kashoku knew that she had failed. She watched as Daniel dropped his keys on the counter and kicked off his shoes before making his way towards the bedroom. There was no use in putting it off any longer. With a hard swallow she followed him into their bedroom and leaned against the doorframe. “I got your text.”

Daniel froze, halfway through unclasping his watch.

Kashoku hung her head. “I got your text, and I knew what it meant, and I wasn’t ready for it. I wanted to give us one last chance, because I kept telling myself we could make this work. I thought it was going to work, and then…The way you looked at me.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as her eyes got cloudy with tears. “Where did we go wrong?”

Daniel lifted her chin to look at her and cupped her face in his hands. “We knew this might happen, Kashoku. We took a chance and hoped it would work, but we just,” Daniel paused, trying to find the right words, but could only settle with, “We just aren’t working.”

“But _why_?” Kashoku asked with an exasperated huff. “There are times when I’m around you that I am the happiest I can remember being, but others I just…"

“I know, believe me, I know.” He let out a small laugh. “But, Kash, we are in two completely different places in our lives, and until we catch up with each other this will never work.”

“I thought I travelled halfway across the galaxy so that we wouldn’t be in two different places,” she offered playfully, but she couldn’t stop the tear from rolling out of her eye.

Daniel couldn’t help but chuckle as he took her into a tight hug. “You aren’t ready to give up on the type of living you had on Spira. You still want to go out and have fun until the early hours of the morning, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not what I want.”

Kashoku pulled away with a nod, knowing that everything Daniel was saying was true, and she had known it. Wiping away at her tears she smiled bravely. “So maybe in a few years?"

There was an upwards twitch of his lip. “Give or take.”

“I don’t regret it, you know,” she assured him. Even though she had given up everything to come to Earth to be with him, he had opened up so many more doors and opportunities that would go on without him.

“Me either. Not for a second,” he agreed.

Kashoku nodded gratefully. Shifting her weight nervously she asked, “Just one more night? I just...just want to be with you. Nothing more.”

Daniel took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Come on. Let’s go see what I have on hand. I think I have enough to teach you some homemade tempura.”

~*~

To say that Kage got completely obliterated would have been an understatement. Ramirez and Bentley both paid Rafe little attention and had instead double-teamed her. Rafe hadn’t been joking when he said Bentley would test the 15-foot rule, and she had even been a victim of Rafe’s friendly fire. Friendly fire her ass. She was certain he had done it on purpose. Her pride would be wounded for months. Dark black and purple bruises splotched her skin, but she didn’t have the guts to face anyone in the infirmary. The fewer people that knew about her defeat, the better. Instead, she waited until the following morning and hobbled slowly to SG-15’s office.

“Kage, are you okay!?” Kashoku cried in concern as her friend limped in. With a wince Kage lifted her shirt to show off several of her bruises. Kashoku gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. Carr and Wells let out a collective whistle.

“You played paintball, didn’t you?” Wells asked, cringing at the sight, while Carr gave a disbelieving laugh, “Your first trip off-base and you went for that? Damn, girl. I give you props for bravery.”

“Three against one isn’t fair,” Kage moaned, lowering her shirt.

Kashoku’s eyes widened. “Wait, this is what you did on your outing with SG-11?”

“Yeah, they’ve got an interesting way of team bonding,” Carr nodded, using air-quotes for emphasis. “They totally hazed you.”

“Which, they could technically get in severe trouble for,” Rodd mused in between fiddling with some device on his desk.

With a disappointed frown Kashoku reached out a hand and had Kage’s skin back to normal with the slightest of touches. “I don’t like it. You were really hurt.”

Kage let out a sigh of relief as her muscles relaxed and the pain subsided. “Yeah, well, I guess I deserved it. And they probably thought I’d go to get healed after they dropped me off. It’s whatever, I’m better now, and it was… actually kind of fun when I wasn’t getting pelted. _So_ ,” pulling up a chair she plopped down in it next to Kashoku. “ _Dodeshita ka_?”

Kashoku’s body tensed at the question and she bit at her lip before responding, following Kage’s lead gratefully in speaking their language. “We had a lot of fun yesterday, but…” She shook her head and gave a shrug. “We talked and… It was mutual.”

Kage perked up at what her friend was insinuating. “So the two of you are done?”

Another shrug. “I suppose, but I’m not even sure we were really ever together, you know?”

Kage was giving herself an internal high-five at the news. _Finally_. Though, when she really looked hard at her friend, she wondered, “You don’t seem all that upset.”

“Well,” Kashoku tucked a curl behind her ear and rested her chin on her hand. “I guess…I’m not. Not much will really change in our relationship by _not_ being together other than me living here again. We’re still friends and that’s what really matters.”

Kage gave an amused huff. “If you say so. Does your team know yet?”

Kashoku shook her head. “No. I didn’t really see much point in advertising it. I guess if someone asked, I’d tell them though.”

“Well, at least we get to hang out more, now, neh?” Kage grinned, glad that she finally would get her friend back.

Kashoku gave a genuine smile and they switched the conversation back to English. “Right! You should try and see if you can convince Colonel Connors to have your team bonding at McCabe’s with us one night. It would be so much fun!”

“I have a feeling Kage would be the type to start bar fights when she was drunk,” Wells mused.

“She is,” Kashoku agreed. “There are several incidents on Spira I could recount. It might be wise to let her win at pool every time.”

“Hey!” Kage snapped defensively, “I’m not a sore loser… much.” Kashoku laughed, and Kage eased comfortably into the seat. Carr began spouting out stories that Michelle had told him from the bar, and Kage finally found herself becoming part of the SGC.

~*~

“You don’t need a ride do you?”

Kashoku turned towards the other end of the hallway to see Ellis in his civilian clothes headed her way. She smiled and shook her head. “No, I’m fine, but thank you for the offer.”

Ellis raised a questioning eyebrow. “I saw Jackson leave about thirty minutes ago. Don’t lie to me.”

Kashoku opened her mouth to argue, but let her shoulders slump and her eyes fall to the floor. “I don’t need a ride because I’m living here at the SGC again.”

It was the difference between Ellis and Connors in the way he showed sympathy in his stance and expression. “Are you two…okay?”

Kashoku smiled honestly, hands clasped together behind her back. “We’re fine, truly, we just…We’re just better as friends right now.”

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry. I know it’s rough when you really think things will work out,” Ellis spoke, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But, you’re a fun and cute girl. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Kashoku chuckled, “That’s real sweet of you. I really appreciate it.” She barely managed to catch the flying object that was tossed her way. She blinked rapidly before zoning in on the item in her hand. It was a pair of keys. “What’s this?”

“Go get changed, and then you’re driving me home where Amy will have an awesome dinner waiting,” he said casually.

“But-” Kashoku began to protest, staring at the keys with confusion.

Ellis spoke over her. “You have your license, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Only way you are going to get comfortable is by doing it.” He grinned mischievously. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to let you crash my car.”

Kashoku turned the keys over in her hand a few times, the jingle echoing in the empty hall, before nodding. “Okay! I’ll be right back!”

“Yeah, don’t take too long. She’s got a warm pie waiting and I’m hungry!” Ellis called out.

Kashoku giggled as she waved back in his direction. It was probably the fastest change she had managed to do, almost forgetting her jacket for the cooler weather moving in. She loved Ellis’s kids, and Amy _did_ make the best food she had ever tasted. With Ellis’s keys firmly in hand she made her way through security and out towards the parking lot where he was waiting for her.

“You ready?” Ellis asked as he secured his seat belt.

With a deep breath Kashoku put the keys in the ignition and started the car. “Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The waves just wouldn’t stop coming. No matter how many advanced spells Kage seemed to throw at the Jaffa, more just took their place. The locals on Grilla had lost many of their soldiers quickly, and it was more or less just SG-11 holding down the fort. Exhaustion was going to self-destruct their team if Kage didn’t do something about the situation fast. Black magic was simply not cutting it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Kage cursed as she ducked behind another ledge and started tapping her head to think of her options. Dark Knight would probably do the trick, but it was risky for her. It would take her out and leave her completely defenseless if it didn’t work. “Shit, only option right now.” Pulling up the sleeve of her uniform she activated her garment grid and the sky went dark. Clad in black armor she sucked in a deep breath and stood from her place of hiding.

“Kage!” Connors called in her direction, questioning what she was about to do, still unfamiliar with the different spheres and their various uses.

“This is all I’ve got!” Kage called back. “If this doesn’t work, get the hell out of here, and drag me back with you!” Connors gave a brief moment of hesitation, but then nodded firmly. Closing her eyes Kage let the darkness begin to swell inside of her. “My pain, is yours.” She extended her hand towards the hoards of Jaffa and there was a dark boom of magic that engulfed the field in a black cloud.

The last thing she heard were screams filling the air before she felt herself fall.

~*~

“Sir, with all-due-respect-,” Ellis started before he was cut off with a wave of Hammond’s hand.

“Major, I don’t want to hear it. The Tok’ra are our allies, and they have asked for our help,” Hammond spoke plainly, not willing to tolerate anymore arguments.

“Didn’t SG-1 just get finished saving their asses from the System Lords? I feel like there should be some sort of limit, especially since we don’t see them helping us like, ever,” Carr huffed in annoyance, arms crossed in defiance of the situation.

Hammond offered no answer to Carr’s questions. “You leave in thirty minutes,” he said before walking away.

“Fucking Tok’ra,” Ellis murmured under his breath before also making his way out.

“I don’t think I’ll be as useful as they are hoping I will be,” Rodd mused from his corner. “I don’t really know much about their crystal system.”

Wells placed an assuring hand on the kid’s shoulder, “You’ll figure it out.”

It was with reluctance that the team geared up, drew weapons, and walked through the gate. The Tok’ra home world was still in shambles from the attack just a few weeks ago that SG-1 had helped stop. Kashoku knew that they typically preferred the isolation of the desert, but this world was shrouded in dense forest.

“Greetings,” a male Tok’ra approached them, bowing slightly at Major Ellis. “My name is Hatnir. I was told you were bringing along one of your scientists who might be able to assist us. Which one of you is it?”

“Jeez, straight to the point are we?” Ellis scoffed before nodding in Rodd’s direction.

Rodd lifted his hand halfway and stepped forward. “I’m not familiar with the crystal system, but I’ll do what I can to help you.”

Hatnir nodded, “Follow me.”

“Yeah, we’ll just stay here,” Carr groaned, dripping with sarcasm. “This sure is fun in the sun.”

“I’ll go with him,” Kashoku suggested. “Maybe I can think of something with one of my spheres to help?”

Ellis agreed, “Yeah, I want someone to watch Rodd’s back anyway.”

Kashoku nodded and took off to catch up with Rodd and Hatnir at the transportation rings to take them underground. “Don’t you usually move worlds once the Goa’uld discover you? Why take the risk of staying here?”

“It is true, that we should relocate,” Hatnir agreed, “But we have been having trouble with our crystals, and we already had started the tunneling process here on Revanna. The Goa’uld think we have evacuated this planet. If we can hurry and get all our people underground, we should be able to salvage this place.”

Kashoku doubted that Anubis and the other System Lords would really fall for that ploy so easily.

“What is it with the crystals you are hoping we can accomplish?” Rodd asked, trying to figure out just what their mission was here on Revanna.

“The planet in which we obtain these crystals regularly is being watched. We cannot risk going there. However, we are running out of specific crystals, while we have many of others. We are hoping we can find some way to be able to transfer the crystalline properties of one to another,” Hatnir explained.

Rodd gave Kashoku a concerned look. “That’s above the laws of nature that I know of. The only way I know of changing a crystals properties is to apply an incredible amount of heat and pressure that I just can’t do without time that exceeds my life span.”

Kashoku frowned, thinking heavily as they walked before a light bulb went off in her head. “I have an idea! I don’t know if it will work, but one of my dress spheres might be able to help on a temporary basis.”

Hatnir turned his head slightly, curious. “Do explain.”

“My Gun Mage sphere uses what we call blue magic. For a limited time I can copy the ability of a fiend on our planet to use against them. It’s not quite the same, but maybe if you use one of these crystals I can try and copy the ability to help you until you can get more of the crystals you need,” Kashoku explained.

Rodd’s face lit up in interest. “Really? You think you can do that?”

Kashoku smiled at him, “Don’t know, but it’s worth a shot, neh? As with any magic, it has its price, but it will at least help the Tok’ra establish their base underground.” As they reached the storage room with the stacks of crystals, Kashoku changed into the bright blue, pink, and yellow clothing of her Gun Mage sphere. “Ok, which crystal is it?”

Hatnir handed her a yellow hexagonal crystal and pointed towards a section of the wall. “Use it there.”

Kashoku fiddled with the crystal in her hand, observing it closely, before readying herself to try and mimic the crystal’s actions. She pressed it towards the wall and there was a flash of a bright light as the crystal began hollowing on the wall of the cave. She held onto it as long as she could before the crystal began to disintegrate leaving a long new hallway in its wake.

“Did it work?” Rodd asked curiously, stepping up next to her.

Kashoku’s arm tingled with the familiar sensation of learning a new ability. “Something happened. I guess the only way to know for sure is to test it out.”

Hatnir was anxious as he quickly paced down the hall to instruct Kashoku where to try the spell. “Here, if you can.”

Kashoku took in a deep breath, biting at the inside of her lip. “Hope this works.” Her gun appeared in her hand and she focused on the newfound blue magic inside of her since having touched the crystal. She pulled the trigger and a shot fired at the wall, instantly sparking into light and carving into the cave.

“You did it!” Rodd shouted in excitement, a small jump accompanying his words.

“It worked!” Kashoku beamed, whirling around to smile back at Rodd.

Tok’ra usually were void of showing any kind of emotion, but even Hatnir seemed to be pleased as he lifted his chest and a smile threatened to tug at his lips. “You have saved us.”

The Spiran was on her way to asking where to begin next when the three were suddenly thrust off their feet, slamming into the ground as the tunnels shook violently around them. With a grunt Kashoku pushed herself to her feet, brushing off the rubble that had fallen around her. “What was that?”

“Goa’uld?” Rodd asked with worry as he looked up, dust speckled across his face from the debris.

“Hurry, to the surface,” Hatnir commanded.

Not knowing what they would find themselves in the middle of, Kashoku cast Protect on all three of them before stepping into the rings for the surface. Thank Yevon she had. It was chaos all around her. Death Gliders were firing shots all around, voices were shouting out orders, and Kashoku could hear the familiar sound of the P-90s firing off in the distance. Wounded Tok’ra were already littering the battle field. Kashoku turned to Hatnir, face firm. “Have all wounded come underground. I can treat them out of harm’s way.”

“But the tunnels might collapse!” Hatnir argued.

“I can make new ones!” Kashoku reminded him, quickly changing spheres and readying herself for anything that came her way.

 _“SG-15, this is General Hammond. You have not called in for your 12-hour report. What is your status?”_ Rodd’s radio crackled through the battle.

“Oh, you know, getting fucked over again by the Tok’ra, sir!” Ellis’s voice rang loudly over heavy fire. “I don’t want to say I told you so, sir, but I told you so!”

_“Major, what is going on?!”_

“Jaffa decided to come back and finish the job, sir. We are overrun. I don’t know how much longer we can hold the fort before we run out of ammo! We need backup!”

_“I don’t have it, son. All our battle-ready teams are off world. Until one comes back, you are on your own.”_

Rodd and Kashoku exchanged worried glances. “I’m going to go help our team,” He said, fear in his voice, but determination also.

Kashoku nodded. “Go.” She turned and ran back towards the rings where several injured Tok’ra had already gathered or been dragged. She quickly began casting her spells, but realized just as swiftly that she alone would not be enough.

~*~

Kage feel like she had been hit with a blitzball repeatedly. When she had come to, she was in the same spot she remembered attacking the Jaffa. Ramirez had told her she had only passed out for a few minutes, but Kage was sure it had been days. Her attack had weakened the Jaffa force just enough for the rest of SG-11 to take swift action and eliminate the threat for good.

“That was some powerful voodoo magic shit you did back there, _chica_ ,” Ramirez commented as she and Bentley helped hoist her to her feet.

Kage groaned as she tried to support herself, but found that she couldn’t without great difficulty. “I like to avoid having to use that dress sphere, but it seemed like it was either that or get fucked, and I just wasn’t feeling that today without dinner, first.”

“You saved our asses, man, thanks,” Bentley helped support her from the other side.

“Let’s get back to base. Hopefully the locals can clean the mess up without our help and we can get back to Earth,” Connors said as he swung his weapon over his shoulder and began taking off. There was blood seeping through his uniform around his shoulder, but he gave no indication of any real pain.

Rafe took up the rear as Kage hobbled along with the help of her teammates, her vision battling between clear and fuzzy the entire way. There were points she had momentary blackouts, gaps between places and time as they got back to the base and Connors spoke with the leaders. She hadn’t even realized that they had made it to the gate until she felt the familiar lurching of her stomach through the wormhole and they landed on the ramp. Not wanting to show weakness, Kage shook off her helpers and stood straight in front of the soldiers who were pulling security in the embarkation room.

Hammond had wasted no time from descending the stairs from his place above to the gate room. His brow was creased in worry, and one of the nurses had followed in behind. “Team, I’m very sorry, but I need you to turn right back around and go on another mission. Captain Tyler here can cure any injuries you sustained before you go.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ramirez growled in disbelief, not even bothering with the proper addressing of her commander.

“Sir, we are wiped. There isn’t anyone else that can go?” Rafe added, his shoulders slumping in exhaustion.

Connors kept the same blank face he always had. “What is the mission, sir?”

“It’s SG-15. They were ambushed by Jaffa while assisting the Tok’ra on Revanna after the last attack. The Tok’ra forces were already heavily depleted, and they are being overrun,” Hammond explained. “They requested back up over four hours ago and I have not been able to contact them, since.”

Kage had a sudden burst of energy as she stood to her full height. “We’re going.”

“You’ve blacked out more than once since you cast that spell,” Ramirez hissed angrily. “You are in no shape to go anywhere.”

“I don’t care,” Kage snapped back, shaking off Ramirez angrily. “If Kashoku is in trouble, we’re going.” She walked down the ramp towards the nurse Hammond had brought along. “Cast a Pray spell and let’s go.”

“Sir, you’ve got to be joking,” Bentley turned to Connors, a pleading look in his eyes.

Connors only shrugged. “General Hammond says we go, so we go. It’s as simple as that.”

There was a collective groan from Bentley, Ramirez, and Rafe, but they all lined up to get a boost of energy, albeit very small in the grand scheme of things, before turning on their heels and waiting for the gate to start dialing once more. Kage knew that the use of any sort of magic would be limited, but she could still use a sword and gun just as well, especially if Kashoku was in danger.

The chaos they ended up walking in to was far worse than what they had been at for hours on Grilla. There were explosions everywhere and the team scattered to find cover. From her crouched position behind some fallen trees she saw Connors link up with Ellis. Knowing that that particular situation was handled, she began scanning the horizon for any sight of Kashoku. With no immediate luck she stayed low and began moving to the first Tok’ra she could find.

“Where’s Kashoku?” She shouted over the battle fire.

“Below, with the wounded,” he spoke as he stood and fired his zat’ni’katel at the Jaffa.

“Take me to her.” She commanded, instinctively ducking as a death glider’s fire landed near them.

He seemed to hesitate, not wanting to leave his position, but nodded and motioned for her to follow. They both dodged bullets and staff blasts as they made it towards the transportation rings. Both came out unscathed as the yellow light engulfed them and took them underground.

There was blood everywhere.

Kage stepped over bodies and looked around hastily before finding Kashoku kneeling next to one of the bodies in a separate room, the soft glow of her magic at work. Her skin was almost as pale as the robes she wore. “Kash!”

Kashoku’s head snapped up, and her eyes closed slowly in relief. “ _Yokatta_. Kage, what’s going on up there? I keep getting more and more wounded with no sign of this stopping. I’ve had some Tok’ra come to me more than once. I can’t do it anymore.”

“It’s fucking hell fire up there,” Kage answered, the scent of copper hitting her hard. “Your team was ok from what I saw for a second, but Kash, we aren’t going to be much help. We just got back from our own war, and I had to use Dark Knight.” Kashoku instantly understood the severity of the situation, knowing she had to go that far. “We need to evacuate. The gate was clear – mostly – when we came through.”

Kashoku nodded. “We should start gathering people to move.”

“MOVE! GET OUT OF THE WAY, NOW!” Ellis’s voice boomed from down the hall.

Her entire time was suddenly in the room. Wells was clinging to Ellis, hand clutching at a bleeding wound at his shoulder. Rodd was limp over Carr’s shoulder, blood seeping through his uniform around his abdomen. They were both set down next to several other wounded Tok’ra before Ellis and Carr took off again, shouting orders. Kashoku gasped, quickly crawling over to Wells.

“Heal Rodd first,” Wells hissed through the pain as he managed to prop himself up against the wall of the tunnel.

Kashoku hesitated but nodded, turning herself so that she could get her hands on the unconscious lieutenant. A lump formed in her throat at the damage. Wells and Rodd would be the limits of her magic.

“Don’t worry about me,” Wells breathed through sharp gasps. “I’ll be fine until we can make it back.”

“No,” she snapped firmly, “I’ll heal you both.”

“Are you crazy?” Kage argued, irritated at her friend’s stubbornness. “He said he’s fine, save your energy for those that need it!” She had experienced several similar injures on hunts before, and although it would suck royally, she knew Wells would at least live.

“I said I’d heal you both!” Kashoku shouted decisively, eyes locking with Wells across Rodd’s body.

Wells stared back at her, his heavy panting the only sound in the room beyond distant explosions for several moments. “Kash…”

“Let me work,” she said plainly before concentrating once more on calling her magic to her to heal the wound on Rodd’s abdomen. She could feel the last of her energy drain through her fingers as the wound closed and Rodd’s eyes fluttered open slowly. She smiled as his brown eyes stared up at her. “You ok?”

He pushed himself up onto his elbows and stared at her in shock and utter fear. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t-,”

“Shh,” she hushed him, far too tired to offer her usual kind words to him in attempts to calm him down. She lazily turned back to Wells and reached out a hand for his shoulder.

He grabbed it, keeping her from reaching the wound as he held her gaze. “Kash, don’t. You’re too weak.”

Kashoku clenched her jaw, offering him a silent apology as she squeezed his hand and let her magic flow through his arm to the injury on his shoulder. Her body suddenly felt weightless, and she could do nothing but let herself fall against Wells’s chest.

Kage growled angrily as she knelt down to check that Kashoku was still breathing. Her brown eyes were still slightly open, but she knew that if she cast even the slightest of spells she would be done for. “ _Baka_. Why don’t you ever listen?” With a heavy sigh she looked up at Wells, who was holding onto Kashoku tightly, eyes cast down. Kage could feel her heart stop, curiosity swelling up within her at the intimate moment shared between the two.

“She ok?” Ellis questioned as he popped his head back in.

Kage nodded, finally prying her eyes away from the pair. “She’ll be fine, but we’ve got to get out of here. This place is done for. It’s not worth trying to protect it.”

“No shit,” Ellis agreed. “I think the Tok’ra finally understand that. We’re getting out of here, now. We’re going to another planet where they’ve set up a temporary base.”

Kage helped Rodd to his feet and eyed Wells once more as he scooped Kashoku into his arms, guilt filling both gentlemen’s faces. Rodd looked like he might keel over from the thought of it alone. “Let’s go.” She pushed past the bodies in the tunnel towards the front so that she could lead the initiative towards the Gate. Many of the ground forces had been eliminated between SG-15 and SG-11, but the Death Gliders were viscous in their attacks from above. Kage didn’t have enough in her to protect the remaining Tok’ra from the attack, so she focused on the Jaffa still standing. Mercifully, the Tok’ra moved with a sense of urgency and they were able to get the survivors through the Gate quickly.

Ellis turned back, quickly searching for any stragglers that may have been left behind. Satisfied that everyone had made it through he nodded to Kage, “Alright let’s go.”

Kage didn’t hesitate as she turned and ran through the event horizon. The sun was bright on the other side, the planet much more like the typical terrain of a Tok’ra home world. It was quiet as the event horizon dissipated behind her and Ellis and the wounded were gathered to take to the tunnels below the surface. Kashoku had regained consciousness and was standing at Wells’s side, but grasping onto his arm firmly for support, his body almost fully sustaining her own.

Connors approached Ellis with slumped shoulders. Even he was finally showing signs of heavy fatigue. “I spoke with the local leader. They can handle things from here. It’s time to get our people back.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Ellis agreed. “Rodd! Dial us home!”

“Sir!” Rodd responded before jogging to the DHD and swiftly pressing the correct combination into the panel.

Kage had never been so happy to see Earth.

~*~

“You still alive over there, _bonita_?” Ramirez asked from behind the curtain.

Kashoku let out a groan from her place on the bottom of shower. Her knees were curled into her chest as she let the hot water flow over her skin. She didn’t even have the energy to stand anymore, even though she would have probably fallen asleep if Ramirez hadn’t called out to her. “I’m coming…” With a deep sigh she slowly pushed herself to her feet and turned off the water. Reaching a hand out from behind the curtain she felt around for her towel and began lazily drying herself off. Wrapping it around her lithe frame she stepped out and padded over to her locker on light feet. Ramirez and Kage were slowly getting dressed around her.

“You look about how I feel, _bonita_ ,” Ramirez hummed tiredly as she shoved her shirt down over her head.

Kashoku gave a weak smile. “I’m surprised you don’t look it, too.”

“It’s a gift,” she responded in equal jest.

“Quicker you get dressed the quicker you can get to a bed,” Kage pointed out as she shoved her feet into her boots.

Kashoku nodded and reached for her bra and undies out of the locker and began dressing herself. She was in the process of slipping on her pants when the klaxons went off in a blaze of thunder and a voice came over the intercom.

“Attention all personnel. The SGC is on lockdown due to a possible biohazard threat. I repeat; the SGC is on lockdown due to a possible biohazard threat. Do not leave your current location until further notice.”

Kashoku let out a loud sob as she slumped to the bench and buried her face in her hands. “You’ve got to be joking!”

Ramirez frowned. “Biohazard? What the fuck have those fucking scientist been up to, huh?” She let out a string of curses in Spanish, plopping down angrily next to the half-dressed Kashoku.

Kage let out an explosive kick at one of the lockers with her boot, the exhaustion coming out in pure anger. “This is bullshit!”

Unable to fight unconsciousness any longer, Kashoku grabbed the towel she had used and bundled it up on the far side of the bench before laying down, using it as a pillow. “I have to sleep…” She just couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

She could hear Kage’s sigh. “Yeah, right behind you.”

 

“Kashoku! Kash! Please wake up!”

Kashoku felt her body jolt awake with a hard shake of her shoulder. She shot up from the bench to see Sam standing over her, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “Sam? What is it? Is the threat gone?”

“It’s Daniel. You’ve got to hurry,” She spoke quickly.

Kage and Ramirez shot Kashoku a look, but the Spiran wasted no time reaching in for her garment grid and quickly changed into her robes. She was still exhausted, but the sudden rush of adrenaline had her ready to do anything that was needed. Without a word to the other two women she was out the door with Sam at her heels. “What happened?!”

“Radiation poisoning,” Sam began, fists clenched at her side. “There was an armed bomb that was going to take out the entire planet. He disabled it, but with extreme levels of radiation exposure.”

Kashoku frowned, worriedly as they entered the elevator. Her mind was racing, trying to process everything her friend was telling her. “I-I don’t know what that means.”

“It’s…It attacks the body on a cellular level. The radiation will destroy the cells and tissue of his body from the inside out. He received a lethal dose. There is nothing on Earth that can fix this,” She explained, swallowing hard to try and keep her composure.

Kashoku felt her body grow cold at the explanation, eyes casting down on the floor. “So it’s…internal.” Sam gave a brief nod. Kashoku couldn’t say the words aloud to herself. It would make them too real if spoke them, but she didn’t think she could heal this. They entered the infirmary, Daniel sitting on a medical bed in white scrubs with O’Neill at his side.

“…will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia. Surface tissue, brain tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade, I believe that's called necrosis. Now based on the dose of radiation I got, all that will happen in the next ten to fifteen hours, and if I don't drown in my own fluids first, I will bleed to death, and there is no medical treatment to prevent that,” Daniel spoke frankly.

O’Neill shoved his hands in his pockets defiantly. “Maybe not that we know of.” He looked towards Kashoku, “but maybe her.”

Kashoku could feel a sob catch in her throat as Daniel’s blue eyes stared up at her. She forced a smile out, trying not to show her concern. “What trouble have you gotten into now, neh?” She tried to laugh, but she had to cover her mouth to keep from breaking down completely. She went to take a step forward, but Daniel held up a hand.

“Don’t get too close…I could still be radiating something,” he warned softly.

Kashoku clenched her fists, but nodded. “It’s going to be ok. I can fix this.” Daniel smiled at her, but she could tell he didn’t believe it. “Janet, have you already tried healing him?”

Janet gave a sad nod, “I did, but it’s hard to say at this point if it worked. It healed the burn on his hand, but it might not have taken care of the internal damage. We won’t really know for a few more hours when the symptoms would start kicking in. We just thought…,” she hesitated, “I’m not as strong as you. We just wanted to take every precaution.”

Kashoku shook her head in understanding. It probably wouldn’t make a difference.

“Kashoku, don’t,” Daniel spoke as she closed her eyes to start casting a spell. She stopped instantly, eyes flying open. “Look at you. You don’t have the energy to perform magic right now. I’m not going to let you kill yourself for me.”

“I’m fine,” She lied, standing up tall to try and be convincing.

He gave her another smile. “I know you better than that, Kash. Save your energy, at least until we can see if Janet’s spell worked.”

Janet put a comforting hand on Kashoku’s shoulder. “He’s right. If it didn’t work, then we’re going to need you at your full strength.”

“And what if he doesn’t have that kind of time?!” She argued, every ounce of her wanting to try and cast a spell despite their protests.

“Then, I don’t,” Daniel sighed heavily, seemingly having already accepted his fate. “I told you, that I’m not going to let you throw away your life when we don’t even know if white magic will work on this.”

Kashoku’s lip began to tremble and she squeezed her eyes shut, a tear finally escaping. “Why do you get to make that decision!?”

“Kash, please don’t argue with me on this. Let’s just wait.”

 

They waited, and it got bad. Quickly. The burns resurfaced on his hands and they swiftly began spreading. When Daniel began to vomit, Kashoku couldn’t take it any more.

“I’m not waiting any longer!” Kashoku shouted at his continued protests.

“You haven’t had any rest at all. What good is anything going to do at this point?!” Daniel questioned, tiredness showing in his own face.

“Maybe everything!” She cried, unable to hold back any longer. She forced the magic within her to begin generating, but no matter how much she grasped she couldn’t pull enough for the strongest spell she had. Shaking, she gathered what she could and focused everything onto Daniel. He was cast in a bright blue and yellow light before it shimmered away.

It hadn’t healed anything.

Kashoku was still for several moments, her body feeling completely numb. When he looked at her she let out the sob she had been holding in and buried her face in her hands. “Please don’t go!”

“Kash,” he whispered softly, his hand coming up to reach out for her, but stopping just short of her arm knowing he couldn’t touch her.

“I’m so sorry,” She cried. Kashoku couldn’t even bare to look at him, her eyes cast on the ground. She couldn’t be here. She had to run. Pushing past the nurses she made for the door and felt herself go into a daze as she brushed past personnel in the hallway, everything around her a blur as she headed for her room. As soon as the door slammed behind her she fell to the ground and cried the hardest she had ever felt herself cry.

~*~

“Kash?” There was a heavy pounding on her door.

“Kash? This isn’t funny, I’m coming in.” Wells opened the door and cursed when he saw Kashoku setting against the far wall unmoving. Kashoku couldn’t make herself look at him as he knelt down beside her. “Kash? What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

He shook her, and she finally snapped out of her daze, her eyes red and puffy with dried tears as she slowly looked at him. “I…I can’t save him.”

Wells frowned at her. “What do you mean? Save who?”

“They didn’t tell you?” She asked, surprised that even despite their dislike for Daniel, Kage and Ramirez had failed to tell her teammates anything.

Wells licked his lips, “Kage said Major Carter had come for you, saying something about Daniel being the cause of the biohazard lockdown. I mean, you took care of it, didn’t you?”

Kashoku felt her body begin to shake again as she clenched at a chunk of her own hair. “He’s dying.”

Wells stayed there, crouched at her side, unmoving and unknowing on what to say. “You…can’t heal him?” Kashoku shook her head, her lip beginning to tremble and the tears falling again. He moved so that he was sitting next to her and took her into his arms, her hands grasping at him as she buried her face into his chest. They sat there like that in the dark. Neither knew how much time had passed before Kashoku felt like there was nothing left in her.

“I should go say goodbye,” she whispered against Wells.

Wells nodded slowly, hand stroking gently down her back before letting it fall next to him. “You know where to find me if you need anything, ok?”

Kashoku nodded, separating herself from him, and finding the courage to stand. She opened the door just enough to let the light in before peering at him over her shoulder with thanks. He smiled back encouragingly and she opened the door fully, each step feeling closer to the edge. Janet didn’t look much better than she did as she passed by, the doctor offering her a silently sorrowful apology as she walked past and took a seat next to Daniel. He had gotten worse. Almost his entire body was covered in the bandages. Swallowing hard she asked, “Do you think…do you think we could have tried harder?”

Daniel’s eyes were closed, but let out a weak huff. “Of course we could have…but do you really think it would have changed anything?”

“You don’t?” She questioned.

Sucking in a breath Daniel gradually turned his head and cracked open his eyes to look at her. “No. I told you, Kash…what happened was meant to happen.”

Kashoku clenched at her robes in her lap. “And you think this is meant to happen, too?”

“Yes,” he answered truthfully. “I saved an entire planet from destruction. My death isn’t in vain.”

She let out a sad laugh. “So that makes it ok, does it? I didn’t believe that when all the summoners spout that about Sin and their Pilgrimage, and I don’t believe it now. ”

“Promise me you won’t beat yourself up about this,” he demanded. “This isn’t your fault, and I would never be able to forgive myself if you continue to try and blame yourself for this.” She looked away, unable to give him an answer. He gave a sigh of frustration, but did not push the issue further. “You don’t look like you’ve gotten any sleep.”

“I haven’t,” she answered honestly. “I’m so tired, Daniel, but I couldn’t sleep knowing-,” she stopped herself, biting at her lip to keep herself from crying again. “I can sleep later.”

“Staying awake won’t fix anything.”

“So, what? You just want me to say goodbye and then walk away to let you die?” She asked angrily, insulted that he would even suggest it.

“I don’t _want_ you to see me go, Kash. It’s going to get really painful, really quick and I-,” he winced in pain, closing his eyes again.

“I’m not leaving,” she said as she positioned the chair so that she could prop herself up comfortably against the side of the bed.

They sat there in silence for a long time, and Kashoku thought that Daniel had gone back to sleep before he asked, “Could you sing for me?”

Kashoku was surprised at his request, but smiled. “Of course I can. _Kyou ga totemo tanoshii to, asu mo kitto tanoshikute. Sonna hibi ga tsudzuite'ku, sou omotte ita ano koro_.”

 _Today was fun,_  
_and tomorrow will surely be fun as well._  
_"These days will continue forever,"_  
_or so I thought at the time._

 

Kashoku’s world was dark. The only thing she could make out around her was the steady beeping in her ears. With a moan she felt herself slowing coming to, the comforts of the bed she was in finally settling in as she opened her eyes. She was still in the infirmary, but she was the one hooked up to the machine she had been hearing instead of Daniel. “Janet?”

Janet was instantly by her side, a warm smile on her face. “Hey, there. Welcome back. How do you feel?”

“Tired…,” she closed her eyes, trying to remember. “What happened?”

“You fell asleep, but it wasn’t restful. I started worrying, with how much you had exerted during the missions, so I induced you with a medication that would put you into a deep sleep,” she explained.

Kashoku frowned and then her eyes went wide. “Daniel!” Her head snapped towards the bed he had been in when she was singing to him.

It was empty.

Kashoku didn’t need to hear Janet’s apologies to know what had happened. Slowly she felt herself sink back into the bed as the sobs came once more.

Janet reached for something next to her, and her world went black once more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kash? You ok?”

Kashoku woke with a start, her head pounding with a headache that hadn’t gone away for days. She looked around, dazed and confused, not knowing how she had gotten from the infirmary to here. Where was-oh. Burying her face in her hands she let out a shuddered sigh. “I don’t know why I came here.”

She felt Ellis slide into the chair next to her at the island counter top. “Because it probably all feels like a bad dream, and you were hoping you’d come in here and everything would be normal.”

Kashoku slid her hands back so that she could see her commander. “But that’s just it. It is completely normal. Everything is exactly how he left it… He’s just not here.”

“It’s ok to grieve, you know, but I’m not going to let you blame yourself,” he told her plainly. “I’ve lost soldiers before, and it doesn’t help. Finding someone to blame doesn’t make it go away.”

The Spiran rubbed at her eyes, void of tears but red and raw from tiredness. The nurse had told her she had slept for two days before she fled the infirmary, but she didn’t feel any more rested than she had before returning from the mission. “I know there was nothing I could have done, even if I had been at full strength, but I’m not used to this. I’ve never not been able to heal someone.”

“Just goes to show that not even magic is the answer for everything,” he mused. Sucking in a breath he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I want you to come stay with me, tonight. I don’t want you here by yourself. You’re still recovering, and I don’t think you can get a restful sleep here at the SGC.”

Kashoku didn’t bother arguing, and offered up a nod as her answer. “When’s our next mission?”

Ellis pursed his lip, irritated by the inquiry. “Thursday…I tried to convince General Hammond to give us some leave, but I was shot down quicker than I could ask the question. SG-1 has priority and we’re too many teams down right now to afford putting us out of commission for more than the time needed for you to get back on your feet magic wise.”

She nodded, understanding. “SG-1 should have priority. He was their team member, after all.”

Ellis hummed neither approval nor disapproval at the comment. “Put together an overnight bag. There’s nothing else to be done today, so let’s just go on home. Amy already knows you are coming, and it’ll be a great surprise for the kids.”

Kashoku smiled slightly before willing herself to get out of the chair. She strummed her fingers against the countertop, mind still trying to gather and process everything that had happened the past week. “I…I came to a few times while in the infirmary. It was never for very long, but every time Brandon was there.”

Ellis scoffed. “Tch. He never left. I had to kick him out, sent him home to take care of Justice. Coincidentally, that’s when you decided to wake up and sneak out on us,” he accused in jest. "It was like you knew he had left."

Kashoku looked to the ground, ashamed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-,”

“Stop,” he insisted. “Don’t be sorry for anything. It’s ok. Go get changed, and we’ll go, ok?”

Kashoku hated walking through the halls of the SGC. Every time she thought she might for a moment push Daniel to the back of her mind she would receive another look of pity. She changed quickly and kept her eyes down as she walked through the hallway, doing everything she could to avoid the gazes of any personnel that passed by. Ellis made small talk during their drive, happily chatting about his kids’ recent achievements in school and some of Amy’s new recipes. Kashoku was thankful that he didn’t try and ask how she was doing.

Amy showed no signs of knowing the circumstances around Kashoku’s appearance, offering only welcoming hugs and smiles as she ushered the Spiran into the house. Jessie and Cody waived to her from their spots on the couch as Ellis took her bag and walked towards the back of the hall with it.

“Momma said you’re staying with us a few days,” Jessie grinned excitedly.

“You’re going to play with us lots, right?” Cody asked, climbing over the top of the couch to better see her.

“Stop badgering her,” Amy insisted with a light smack to her son’s arm as she passed by. “You’ll leave her alone while she’s here.”

Seeing the children’s’ forlorn faces Kashoku assured them, “Of course we’ll play, just not as much as you’d probably like. I’ve been really tired lately.”

“Come on.” Amy placed her hands on Kashoku’s shoulders and led her towards the kitchen. “I could use some help finishing dinner and I’ve got this bottle of fantastic wine that needs some tasting.”

Kashoku watched eagerly as Amy pulled out two wine glasses and made quick work of the cork. Nothing sounded better than a drink right now. She took the proffered glass gratefully and let her shoulders relax as she took a sip. “Thank you.”

Amy took a sip of her own and ran her finger around the rim of the glass thoughtfully. “He couldn’t tell me much. Not that he ever can,” she let out a slightly annoyed huff as she took another sip. “But just know that you are always welcome here for as long as you need. I don’t want you to ever feel like you are a disposition on our family.”

Kashoku responded with a small but appreciative smile. “It really amazes me how little you know me, but you are willing to allow me into your home like this.”

She gave an amused huff as she set down her glass and slipped an oven mitt on. “I’ve been informed you’ve saved my husband’s life on more than one occasion. That’s all I need to know.” She pulled out a steaming casserole and placed it on top of the stove. “Grab the salad from the fridge and put it on the table, would you?”

Kashoku nodded and did as she was asked, the children scurrying into the kitchen to wash their hands knowing that it was almost time to eat. Ellis passed her by and grabbed a beer from the fridge before everyone joined in the dining room and took their seats. “This looks amazing as always,” she beamed as the aroma filled the air.

“I’ve got peach cobbler and homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert,” Amy added, unfolding her napkin and laying it down on her lap.

The rest of the night passed quickly, an air of ease to the evening that Kashoku threw herself into gratefully. Yet despite what Amy and Ellis both said, she still felt like an intruder in their home as she climbed into bed, stretching out and feeling what were definitely very expensive pillows. Amy even had a full breakfast prepared for everyone before Jessie and Cody headed off to school and she and Ellis had to head back into the SGC. They had a morning brief on a mission that was three days out, but Kashoku couldn’t remember where they’d be going or even why by the time they made it back to their office.

“Are you even listening to me?” Kage huffed in annoyance.

“Huh?” Kashoku asked with a slight shake of her head, having been staring off into space once again. She focused on her friend, confused. When had Kage shown up?

Kage rolled her eyes, oblivious or willing to forgive Kashoku’s distraction. “I said, Connors agreed to let us have team bonding at the bar tonight. You’re going to come, right?”

Kashoku gave a small shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t really think I want to be around everyone right now.”

There was an agitated huff as Kage switched to Spiran despite Carr and Wells both having loud music blaring from headphones and Rodd too engulfed in his current project to care about eavesdropping. “Look. I’m sorry Daniel died.”

“Are you?” Kashoku asked accusingly, squaring her shoulders.

“Yes. No.” She crossed her arms and looked away. “I’m sorry that he died because it has upset you.”

Well, at least that was honest. “You’re really good at this, you know,” she responded sarcastically.

“Tch.” Kage countered, “I’m the most sympathetic person there is.”

Kashoku shook her head and sighed, turning her attention away from her friend. Suddenly she didn’t want to talk about the issue anymore, especially not with Kage, who well-meaning or not was only tearing into healing wounds. “Maybe,” she demurred.

Kage must have already used up her limited empathy, because her expression shifted to irritation as she stood up. “Kashoku, he’s dead. He’s not coming back and there was nothing you could have done. Stop drowning in your self-pity and get back out there. You’re going to jeopardize one of your own teammates if you keep acting like this.”

Kashoku’s gaze snapped back to Kage. The haze that had clouded her mind all morning boiled red, and she felt her cheeks and ears warming in fury at Kage’s accusations. “Just go,” Kashoku hissed, unable to deal with Kage’s bluntness any longer. What she was saying was right, but the delivery left much to be desired, and she was done.

~*~

Kage left and aimed for the gym. With luck, someone she knew would be there to help ease all the built up tension she had somehow managed to not let loose on Kashoku. She’d known the other woman would be upset, but what was with the lost little girl look? She’d asked around and she knew Kashoku had a mission in a few days. If she didn’t snap out of it, Jackson wouldn’t be the only casualty that week. Yet did Kashoku seem to care? No, she just wanted to carry on with her pity party.

To the punching bag’s good fortune, Rafe was already there, lifting weights when she stormed. She didn’t have to say a word, her team member chuckling and offering a spar the moment he saw her face. The good-natured man kissed the mat twice before he coaxed the story out of her, and then just hummed quietly.

“I don’t fucking get it,” she growled as she grabbed Rafe’s quickly approaching fist and went to twist it around her.

“You don’t think you’re being even a little bit insensitive?” he asked, pulling free from her counter attack. He stepped back to the corner of the mat to collect himself, keeping a steady eye on her.

“No,” she responded flatly, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder and raising her fists once more.

He laughed as she charged at him, making a half-hearted attempt to meet her, but his mirth quickly found him on his back. Kage sat straddling his hips, her knuckles centimeters from his face, and her expression as sour as a wet cat’s. He grinned. “You’re being an asshole.”

Kage shoved him into the mat in protest before maneuvering herself off of him and grabbing her towel from the bench to wipe herself off. “What else is new?”

Rafe gave another snicker as he propped himself up on an elbow, still lying on the mat. “Ain’t nothin’ changing about that any time soon, I figure. Do you think Kash is going to want to go back to Spira now?”

Kage froze, towel half-way down her face. The thought hadn’t even once crossed her mind. It had been the whole reason she had come here, to get Kashoku to come home. But she had lost sight of that, growing kind of comfortable with the daily SGC routine and the excitement of going off world. If she had to be honest with herself, she had more friends here than she had ever had back on Spira. It seemed weird to acknowledge it, but she didn’t want them to return home anymore. “I… don’t know. She hasn’t really said.” She finished wiping her face and set the towel down, exchanging it for her water bottle. “But…I don’t think she’ll go. Leaving Spira was never really about Daniel.”

“So he was a means to an end, huh?” Rafe finally rocked himself up and pushed himself to his feet, joining her in wiping himself down and hydrating. “You saying she never intended on being in a relationship with him? I never really got that impression, but I didn’t know much about them. They seemed happy until a few months back.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I think she had every intention of trying, but I also think Kashy likes the idea of things a lot better than she actually likes them,” Kage explained. “Plus, I think the SGC offered a distraction… wandering eyes and all that.”

Rafe raised a curious eyebrow. “You think she’s had the hots for someone else? Who?”

Kage laughed. “Ha! Like I’d tell you, you gossip. Don’t think I don’t know how you manage extra dessert from the commissary.”

“Hey, I’m just making sure my military given recon skills stay sharp, no fault in that. If I get paid in cinnamon buns and brownies, that’s no one’s business but my own,” he defended.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Just make sure you don’t eat too many or you’ll have to spend even more time in the gym than you already do,” Kage smiled. “Besides, I’m not entirely sure. It’s just a suspicion....with a lot of evidence.”

“Well, damn. Get some, girl,” he grinned. “My well-tuned recon skills” – Kage snorted – “say she could easily have anyone on their hands and knees.”

“Ew. Mental image,” Kage replied only half-jokingly.

Rafe slapped a hand on her shoulder with a broad grin. “Cheer up, girl. Drinks are on their way after our afternoon mission brief. And a few days after that, you get to kill people again.”

“Thank fuck,” she groaned, pleased that she could satisfy her urges again soon.

“Chow after we shower?” Rafe asked as he gathered up his gear.

Kage nodded, her stomach growling in response. “Yeah, sure.”

~*~

“Can you drop me off downtown? I had some errands to run and then they are finally giving the beast a longer leash and letting Kage go to McCabe’s tonight,” Kashoku spoke in jest as she buckled her seat-belt.

Ellis gave a grunt. “That should be interesting. Yeah, no problem. Do I need to come get you tonight?”

Kashoku shook her head. “No, I don’t want to wake up Jessie and Cody so late. Michelle said I could stay with her and Robbie anytime, so I’ll probably just go home with them.”

Ellis shrugged as he put the car in reverse. “Ok, but know you can call if you need to. It’s not a problem. They sleep through anything.”

Kashoku nodded in thanks, but she really had no intentions of attending McCabe’s. At least, probably not. She still didn’t feel like being around anyone she knew, and everyone from the SGC went to McCabe’s. Her errands turned out to be mindless window shopping and a pedicure she had hoped would relax her somewhat, but she felt no better as she walked out of the salon. The sun was just beginning to set as she passed by a small pub. There weren’t many people yet, and her stomach growled at the sight of food in front of a customer.

Changing course, she opened the door and made towards a seat at the barely populated bar. The bartender was prompt, which got him a smile, but also savvy enough to not try chatting with her once he’d gotten her drink and handed her a menu, which she appreciated more than anything. Desiring more of that, she skimmed the menu and quickly picked out a burger, handing the menu back and busying herself with her drink as the bartender entered it in and settled nearby to watch the television over the bar. She hardly noticed the man that sat a few stools down until he spoke to her.

“Come here often?”

Kashoku looked up and was shocked to see none other than Colonel O’Neill. He was dressed casually, a cap on his head and a beer in his hands, and his eyes stayed focused on the sporting event the bartender was watching. She gave a small smile and looked down. “No.”

“Yeah,” he took a swig of his beer, “me either.”

The bartender gave a snort and Kashoku smiled then. Clearly, he must have been a regular. “Does it bother you that I’m here?”

“Why would it?” he asked, glancing over at her.

She gave a shrug, thinking about the months passed. “We haven’t exactly had the best relationship since meeting.”

He fingered the rim of the bottle thoughtfully before countering her response. “True, but I think the same thing brought us both here tonight.”

Kashoku could feel the grief wash over her again for Daniel. Gripping her glass tightly she took a large swig of the alcoholic substance. “I’m so sorry. It’s my fault he’s gone.”

“It’s not,” O’Neill said firmly. “I don’t know why you think that.”

“I couldn’t save him,” she responded, trying hard not to let the tears form up again. Over the past few days she had gotten so much better about pushing Daniel to the back of her brain, but it was still so painful to talk about. It must’ve been hard to hear too, she thought, distantly noting as the bartender quietly crossed to the far side of the bar, a kind illusion of privacy.

O’Neill frowned before setting his beer down and sitting up straight, looking straight at her. “So nobody told you?”

Kashoku’s head snapped towards him, eyes staring him down accusingly. “Told me what?”

O’Neill shifted, clearly wondering if he should have even brought it up. With a deep sigh and a rub of his forehead he began speaking softly, aware of wandering ears. “Jacob came with a Tok’ra healing device. It was working.”

Kashoku could feel a tight knot forming in her throat, her hands clenching at the edge of the bar top. Cautiously she prodded, “But?”

“He wanted to go,” O’Neill answered sadly, picking up his beer again.

He wanted to go, her brain echoed. The words felt so hollow and try as she might she just couldn’t understand. “Why?!” she asked, a sob choking out of her on the tail end, try as she did to hold it in.

O’Neill heaved a sigh. “I’ve never pretended to understand anything Daniel does, but all I know is that it’s what he wanted. You shouldn’t live with the guilt of his death.”

Kashoku put a hand to her mouth, trying hard to take in what O’Neill had just told her. Her head was spinning, trying to understand why Daniel would have given up when there had been a means to save him. Squeezing her eyes shut to keep in the tears she motioned towards the bartender. “I need a shot, please.”

“Make that two, on me,” O’Neill added. The bartender nodded and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses, placing one in front of each of them. They both downed their portions and continued on their respective drinks. “For what it’s worth... Even though I thought the two of you together caused some issues, I’m sorry.”

Kashoku gave a sad laugh as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “What, nobody told you? We broke up a few weeks before he died.”

O’Neill paused, not really knowing how to respond to the given information. “I sort of suspected things weren’t going well between you two. He didn’t talk about it, but having been through a divorce I kind of pick up on those things.”

“I didn’t know you were married.” Kashoku was surprised that O’Neill had even decided to open up about his personal life around her.

“Yeah, well, my marriage wasn’t the only thing I lost,” he said softly as he finished his beer and motioned for another. “Sorry things didn’t work out. Were you two at least ok?”

Kashoku nodded, the bartender replacing her empty glass with a new one as well. “It was mutual. I guess…”

“You guess?” he prodded, his cheeks tingling red with the buzz they both were getting.

“I don’t think I really wanted to let it go, even though I knew it wasn’t working out,” she admitted, thinking back to the final days of her relationship with Daniel. “I tried desperately to hold on to what remained, but all that was left were threads.” She took another large gulp of her drink. “I mean, I came all this way to be with him and it ended like this. I gave up everything.”

O’Neill rubbed at his face, trying to get some feeling back into his cheeks. “Do you regret it at all?”

“I try not to regret things,” she answered. “At that moment, when I made the decision, it’s exactly what I wanted at the time. I shouldn’t regret that.”

“Are you going to go back home now that it’s over?” It was an honest question, with no hope of an answer that swayed one way or the other.

Kashoku licked her lips, thinking about the question for a moment before answering. “I miss it. I miss the familiarity of it, but I like it here. I learn something new every day, and I love my team. I don’t think I could go.” Swirling the pink liquid around in her glass she changed the course of the subject. “Have you found a replacement for your team?”

O’Neill gave a frustrated huff. “Scientists. Useless. All of them. I’ve been going through the case files, and I just can’t see any of them on the team.”

Kashoku hummed thoughtfully, “They can’t all be useless. Daniel wasn’t.”

A noncommittal hum was his response. “You know…Jonas got wind of you and Daniel being together. He keeps trying to get the courage to tell you he’s sorry.” Conspiratorially, he revealed, “He feels like it’s his fault too.”

“Ah. That explains why I keep seeing him all the time. We should start a club,” she laughed. “We’d make quite the group.”

O’Neill snorted. “Yeah,” he said as he sat up and emptied his bottle, “I think I should call it quits. Carter is coming to be responsible and take me home. You need a ride?”

Kashoku shook her head. “No. Kage is having her first night out down the street. I can catch a ride with someone there. Besides, I have food coming.” The bartender at some point had slipped into the back and by now she knew that meant her burger would be out soon.

“Geez, I better hurry and get out of here before the cops start showing up everywhere. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let her out in public,” he said as he pulled out his wallet and left a generous amount of money on the bar top.

Kashoku giggled. “You’re not the only one, but since even Colonel Connors has to still be present, I imagine things won’t get that far.”

“Don’t let him fool you. He’s wild. Crazy. He’ll be naked downing shots before you know it,” he joked, almost managing a straight face.

“I hope not!” Kashoku laughed before standing to see him off. “Thanks…for listening.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t the only one who needed an ear, I guess,” he said.

Kashoku smiled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Have a good night, Colonel. I’ll see you around.”

~*~

It was odd. The mission they had been briefed for was definitely not a combat mission, and Kage had sat through the whole thing wondering why she was being included at all. Sure, they’d have to be extremely sneaky for mission success, but if all went well there’d be no enemy contact. …Of course, things never seemed to go quite to plan, so maybe that’s why she was going to be brought along.

“Maybe he’s finally starting to trust you a bit more,” Ramirez offered up as she changed out of her uniform in the locker room, Kage having just shrugged out of her jacket to leave her tank top and military pants.

Kage raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah. I don’t think that’s it.”

“Well, you haven’t killed anyone here yet or gotten in any fights lately, so he has to have let out some sigh of relief,” she joked as she shoved her feet into her boots.

“More like he’s waiting for the storm,” Kage snorted.

“Nah, _chica_ , we save that shit for the Jaffa now,” Ramirez grinned viciously where she was bending over her boots, her dark mane free from her typical bun and hanging around her face. Kage had been turning to grin back at her, but paused, eyes trailing down the long tresses she’d never seen free before. Ramirez kept talking as though she hadn’t noticed anything. “Now, let’s go see what I have that will fit you. You better not puke on my clothes.”

Kage threw back her head and laughed. “HA! Me? Not able to handle my booze? You’re joking, right? I’m not Kashoku.”

The corner of Ramirez’s mouth curled up smugly as she darted another glance up through her hair. “No? That’s a shame. She does get flirty when she’s drunk.” She finished lacing up her boots over her jeans and grabbed her jacket. “Alright, let’s go get ready for the best night you’ve ever had on Earth.”

“Well, that certainly wouldn’t take much,” Kage murmured as she followed behind out of the locker room. Ramirez drove them to her apartment, throwing her keys on the table as they entered through the door. It was small, but homey, rich rugs offsetting the crappy floor and colorful pillows and throws thrown about the worn looking couch and matching thick chair. Ramirez had shown Kage a little about her heritage sometimes during their spare time, and the décor looked familiar.

Before Kage could follow her far inside, Ramirez was calling out loudly. “Antonio!”

“ _¿Qué?_ ” A voice rang out from one of the other rooms.

“ _¡Venir aqui!_ ” Ramirez hollered back.

A man came out of the side room who looked a lot like Ramirez, only with about a foot on her and a buzz cut. It was hard to tell if he was older or younger given his height, but his face still held some youth that Ramirez didn’t have. He gave Ramirez a sour look. “ _¿Qué chingados quieres?_ ” he asked again.

“Don’t fucking give me that attitude,” Ramirez growled. “Antonio, this is my co-worker Kage. Kage, this is my baby bro, Antonio.”

Antonio didn’t look impressed, but obligingly jerked his chin up in greeting. “Sup?”

Kage didn’t bother answering, equally unimpressed.

“We’re going out tonight. You have plans?”

“Duh,” Antonio responded as if he were insulted she had even asked the question.

“ _Chingado_ ,” Ramirez hissed as she jabbed her brother in the chest. “What crawled up your ass today, huh? It better crawl itself right back out or I’ll cut up your fake ID and then you’ll be going nowhere.”

“Ok, ok, sorry,” he winced as he rubbed at the spot his sister had hit him. “Yes, I’m going out.”

“Don’t get arrested,” she said simply before turning back to Kage. “Come on, let’s go find you some shit.” She led Kage towards the room across from Antonio’s and opened up a closet. “Take whatever fits. You have a bigger foot than me, but lucky for you military boots are in style these days.”

Kage gingerly began looking through the clothes, not having the slightest idea what to pick. “Uh. Shit, I don’t know. Something black?”

Ramirez gave an amused huff. “Damn, chica, why don’t you just dye your hair black, too?”

Kage’s eyes lit up. “When can we do that?”

“Well, I somehow don’t think I can get the guys to go for that one, so it might have to wait until you get a little more freedom and you and I can have a girls’ date,” she said, reaching past Kage to grab a dark grey shirt, worn with age, and a black jacket. “What about this? It’s worn thin enough it shouldn’t get all stretched out over those tits of yours.”

Kage shrugged, not overly bothered if it did end up being tight across the chest. Spiran fashion was all about showing off the torso, male or female, so she was still adjusting to Earth’s weird hang-ups about hinting too much at the body underneath. “It looks fine. Is it appropriate for where we’re going?”

Ramirez laughed. “ _Chica_ , I don’t go anywhere where I can’t wear ripped jeans and a t-shirt.” She threw the clothes at Kage. “Let’s go, get dressed. Quicker we get out of here, the quicker we can get drunk. I think I’ve got some pants that might fit you.”

Kage began switching out her own clothes for the ones Ramirez had thrown at her, wondering what she’d look like with dark hair. Once they finally found a pair of jeans that fit Kage’s thinner hips, the material clinging skin-tight to her muscled thighs, it didn’t take long for either of them to get ready. Neither one really cared about make-up nor doing much with their hair, though Ramirez insisted Kage drop the ponytail. Apparently, letting their hair down was a saying for going out and getting wild for a reason. Kage relented for the thirty seconds it took to twist it into a long braid over her shoulder, a smartass act that got her a quick punch in the arm.

Antonio was already gone by time they walked out and headed back for the car. “The shit-head’s nineteen, so he’s technically not supposed to be out drinking at all, but I’m not dumb enough to think he wouldn’t find a way if I took his ID away,” Ramirez said on the drive. “I told Mamá I’d look out for him, but Tony’s not as much an idiot as he acts. He gets in trouble, he knows he can call me and not get a lecture until the hangover’s worn off. Well, unless he vomits in my car.” The grimace on her face told Kage quite plenty there. “And don’t you vomit either, or I swear I’ll throw up on you and make you clean it all up.”

McCabe’s wasn’t very far from the apartment, and the excitement crept in quickly as they entered, the tavern full of people. The bar scene was the most familiar thing Kage had felt her entire time on Earth, and she couldn’t wait to feel the splash of alcohol down her throat.

“Look who finally decided to show!” Bentley raised his glass as he jumped up to wrap his free arm around Ramirez.

“Get your fucking hand off of me.” Ramirez slapped his arm away and glowered.

Bentley puckered his lips in a pout. “Aw, Margarita, don’t be like that.”

“Aw, hell, look what the cat dragged in!” Carr grinned as he approached the group from the bar with a huge grin, grasping Bentley’s hand and bringing him in for a hug.

“Well, we have to welcome our newest teammate into the wondrous world of drinky-drank!” Bentley wiggled his eyebrows in Kage’s direction.

Kage responded with a roll of her eyes. “We have alcohol on Spira, you know. It’s not exactly a foreign concept.”

“Maybe not, but drinking with the most awesome people in the universe certainly is!” he said proudly, puffing out his chest.

“You sure do enjoy giving yourself far more credit than you deserve,” Connors’s voice rumbled as he joined them, beer already in hand. Even off-duty in normal clothes he still looked menacing, and Kage instinctually straightened her posture.

Rafe smirked as he, too, approached the group. “Well, sir, he has to be good at something.”

“That’s right!” Bentley raised his glass in cheer. “All my talent is saved for the bedroom. Ladies, you know what I mean!” He waggled his eyebrows at a nearby table of women and, though most rolled their eyes, one woman at least winked back.

“Oh god,” Ramirez groaned as Rafe laughed into his beer. “I’m too sober to see this.”

“Relax, Ramirez,” Connors drawled as they all settled in at Bentley’s table. “There’s a pitcher coming.”

Kage stood on her toes and tried to look around the crowded bar for Kashoku. She assumed since Carr was here that she wouldn’t be far behind. “Is Kashy here?” she asked.

Carr shook his head and gave a shrug. “If she isn’t I haven’t seen her. When she comes it’s usually with Wells and he said he had some shit to do or something tonight.”

With Wells. Was that where she was? Kage tried not to let the scowl show on her face, but the thought somewhat irritated her that she might have been ditched for dick. “I need alcohol.”

“Well, my dear, you’ve come to the right place,” Bentley wrapped an arm around Kage’s shoulders, despite the imminent threat of being socked in the face. “What’s your poison?”

“Something strong,” she stated plainly as she let herself be led through the hordes of people towards the bar.

“We-e-ll, you could,” Bentley shrugged, “but I say we make the night last and start off small. You can never go wrong with beer. Hey, baby! Come give Daddy some sugar!” he whistled in Michelle’s direction, earning him a middle finger.

“You have the absolute worst pick-up lines I’ve ever seen from someone,” Kage scowled.

Bentley grinned. “Whatever. That’s Carr’s wife, she’s used to it.” Despite his comments, a cold beer was slammed in front of him without a word. “Thanks, babe!”

He handed it to Kage who took one sip and cringed. “This tastes like piss!”

“Exactly!” He grinned with a pleased slap to her back. “You’re drinking to get drunk tonight, not to enjoy it. Now come on, let’s go teach you how to be kick-ass at pool.”

Kage almost felt completely at home again in the bar. It was comfortable and easy, drinking terrible alcohol and scaring off strangers who tried to hit on her. She even picked up quickly on how to play pool, and she and Ramirez were destroying Bentley and Rafe easily.

“Damn, girl, you sure you don’t have this game back on Spira?” Rafe asked as he watched Kage sink another ball.

“Nope,” Kage smirked as she analyzed the table for her next shot.

“She’s always been a natural at these sorts of things.”

Kage’s head shot up to see Kashoku smiling at her from a few feet away. Her eyes lit up. “Kashy! I thought you weren’t going to come.”

Kashoku shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood.”

“There she is!” Carr spotted her and brought her into a hug. “Where’s Brandon?”

“I didn’t come with him,” Kashoku answered apologetically.

Carr lifted an eyebrow. “That’s a first. Well, come on, then, let’s get you something to drink.”

Kashoku bit at her lower lip, knowing she probably shouldn’t have anymore, but she only nodded and followed her teammate to the bar.

“Would you hurry up and take your shot already? Our only hope at this point is if you knock the eight-ball in by accident,” Rafe commented, trying to snap Kage out of her gaze towards Kashoku.

Kage gave a snort as she rubbed some more chalk on the end of her stick and lined it up with the cue ball, “Please. That’s not going to happen.” With her tongue sticking out in concentration she hit the ball and sunk the last solid before the eight. Kage shot Rafe a pleased look. “I think you owe us drinks when we beat you. Again.”

“I know an expensive tequila that’s calling my name,” Ramirez agreed as she leaned up against her stick and watched as Kage decided which pocket she wanted to sink the eight.

Rafe could do nothing but succumb to another defeat and another burning hole in his pocket as he racked his stick and headed to the bar to order tequila shots for the two women. He might have even thrown in another two for himself and Bentley, because the sting of defeat was burning. “Man, we made a mistake teaching our girl the game,” he told his partner, turning to watch the last shot while they waited for Michelle.

“Did we?” Bentley asked with a leer, watching as Kage leaned over to take her final shot, borrowed jeans fitting tight along her backside, “Did we really?”

“Yeah, nah, man, I’m drinking your shot too. You’re too close to death already.”

“What, no!”

Bentley managed to snatch up two of the shots as soon as Michelle put them down and danced away, Rafe on his heels with the other two after thanking her. Kashoku returned with them and the shots were taken.

Kage didn’t fail to notice the forlorn look on her friend’s face, despite the many people vying for her attention. “What’s wrong now?”

Kashoku clenched her drink and looked absently at the balls Bentley was gathering up from the pockets to rack back into the triangle. “Did you know that Daniel wanted to die?”

Oh, geez, not this again. Kage gave a heavy sigh and propped her elbows up on the table behind her. “What the hell are you talking about? Who told you that?”

“Do you think it was because of me?” she asked.

Kage squinted at her friend through the dark lighting, taking the time now to really look at her: cheeks bright red and eyes watering. She reached for the drink in her hand and snatched it away, placing it out of Kashoku’s reach. “Holy shit, how much have you had?!”

“Answer the question!” Kashoku whined, not really concerned that Kage had taken her drink from her.

Kage let a growl rumble in her throat, the fun she had been having quickly dissipating. “You know what I think? I think you need to go at least 24 fucking hours without bringing up Daniel just once!”

“Aw shit, she crying over Jackson again?” Bentley asked, stumbling over to their position with another round of shots in hand. He set them down on the bar top and handed one to Kashoku. “Here, take this! The more you drink, the more you forget!”

Kage attempted to take the shot out of Kashoku’s hand, but she had already down the liquor and set the glass down, coughing at the potency. Kage glowered at her teammate. “I really don’t think giving her more alcohol is the best idea.”

“You want her to shut up don’t you?” Bentley asked.

“Yes, but-”

“Well, then, more drinky-drank!” Bentley said simply as he retrieved the drink Kage had hidden and gave it back to Kashoku. “The teary-eyes only lasts through that middle-ground, you know what I’m saying?”

“If it weren’t for the fact I know you know better, I’d take you for a rapist who got girls drunk and took them home,” Ramirez said with a roll of her eyes and a disapproving cross of her arms.

“Aw, shit, Margarita, it isn’t any fun when they just lie there, Christ!” Bentley responded. “I ain’t into all that shit!”

“Well you wouldn’t know, giving her all that alcohol when she probably doesn’t need it,” Ramirez answered back with an irritated wave of her hand.

“Ah, she looks alright. Look, she’s already forgotten about Jackson.” Rafe tipped the top of his bottle in her direction where she was now flirting with a man at the bar.

The man was handsome and young, and he definitely seemed interested in Kashoku who had turned an even brighter shade of red between the alcohol and the flirting. “Good.” Kage let out a sigh of relief. “She should go get laid and forget about Jackson because I swear if I have to listen to her cry over him one more time I might kill someone at the SGC.”

Connors, who hadn’t said much during their time at McCabe’s eyed her with a suspicious glance. “I find it hard to believe that even you, for all your insensitivity, aren’t more sympathetic towards a person you regard as your best friend after she lost someone close.”

“It’s really not all that hard to believe,” Kage countered, tired of the conversation and picking up the cue ball to set it in place to break for a new game. “I’m kind of a bitch, or has that been forgotten somewhere along the line?”

“Aw fuck,” Carr muttered as he quickly set down his beer and took off. “Someone hold her back!”

“What do you mean someone hold me-” But Kage saw it. The man Kashoku had been flirting with was suddenly grabbing onto her, despite her protests. The buzz she had gotten dissipated rapidly and was replaced with a fuming rage, but Rafe had a tight grip on her arm before she could so much as take a step.

“He’s got this,” Rafe promised her as they watched Carr approach the man. There were heated words exchanged, but Carr easily managed to pull Kashoku away and back towards the group.

“I-I-,” Kashoku turned pale as she doubled over, clinging to Carr.

“Ok, time to go,” Carr sighed, wrapping his arms around her to help straighten her back up. “Tell Michelle where I went, ok?”

Ramirez nodded. “Yeah, I got it, get her out of here.” She watched as the two slowly made their way out of the bar and then turned to Kage. “You aren’t worried at all?”

“What, because Kashoku can’t handle her alcohol? That’s nothing I don’t already know. She’s with Carr, she’ll be fine,” Kage shrugged; just honestly glad to not have a sobbing mess around her anymore. “Come on, it’s time for me to kick your ass again, Bentley.”

“Aww, fuck, can’t we just team up?”

~*~

Kashoku’s entire world was spinning. Even when she had been taken out on their first trip to McCabe’s she didn’t feel half this bad. Her head was throbbing and with every motion of the vehicle she felt her stomach about to empty itself. She had no idea how long they had been in the vehicle before she almost fell out of the car when the door opened, and a pair of hands grabbed her and pulled her out onto her feet.

“Come on, Kashy,” Carr’s soothing voice came from her side. At least, she was pretty sure it was Carr. Wasn’t it?

He led her up a few sets of stairs before coming to a stop and fumbling around his jeans for something. Colors were all blurred together, and Kashoku couldn’t make any sense of where she was until a door opened and she heard a voice she could never mistake.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Ellis barked in a hushed tone. “Were you not paying attention to how much she was drinking?”

No, not here. Anywhere but here! She didn’t want him to see her like this!

“I had no idea! Bentley kept feeding her shots behind our back, and I’m pretty sure there were other guys at the bar buying her shit where Michelle and I couldn’t keep track,” Carr spoke in his defense as he lifted Kashoku back up and through the door.

Kashoku could feel herself being handed off to Ellis and that’s when her stomach gave its final protest. She was going to hurl. Ellis must have realized it, because she was suddenly being whisked away and somehow the contents that came up ended up in the toilet. She gasped in between heaves, letting herself completely sink to the bathroom floor, hands gripping onto the edges of the seat as she shook.

“Matt? What’s-Oh my god, is she ok?!”

“Amy, go get me some water and some towels. And something to hold her hair back,” Ellis ordered, his voice still hushed as to not wake the kids. “Carr, just get out of here. I’ve got this.”

“Yes, sir,” Carr’s voice answered solemnly.

Kashoku felt a soothing hand on her back, but it didn’t help. She still felt the need to vomit and empty her stomach of the poison she had filled it with, but it didn’t seem to want to come. Tears spilled from her eyes as she gripped tighter. Her hair was pulled back away from her face and she then found herself choking on what she was sure were someone’s fingers before the bile rose and she was doubled over once more.

“Do we need to take her to the hospital?” Amy’s concerned voice came.

“It’s bad, but I don’t think she’s that far gone. I’m helping coax it out,” Ellis responded.

Their voices became indistinguishable mumbles as she shook and cried, begging for the feeling to go away, but it just kept coming for what seemed like forever. And then the darkness came.

~*~

_“How many people is it going to take to tell you it’s not your fault before you actually believe it?” Daniel took a seat next to her at the edge of the lake, the water crystal clear and reflecting the blue and green hues of the forest._

_Kashoku didn’t answer him, only tugged her bare feet closer to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Why did you want to die?”_

_Daniel sucked in a breath and let his own bare feet touch the water as he leaned back on his hands. “I think there’s a life after death where I can help people more than I could alive.”_

_Kashoku turned to look at him. He was dressed in a white sweater and pants and his glasses were absent. “How?”_

_Daniel looked at her and smiled with an unknowing shake of his head. “I’m not sure yet.”_

_Kashoku didn’t like his answer and looked away again. They sat there in silence for a long time before she spoke again. “I really miss you.” A tear drop rippled against the water. “I wish I had never agreed to let you go.”_

_Daniel sighed, sitting up straight. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d still be gone. I don’t regret a single second we shared, and I wouldn’t have changed anything. Just having been able to know you is one of the greatest things I’ve had in my life.” He reached over and pried one of Kashoku’s hands loose so that he could hold it. “But you’ve got to let your guilt go. You have to let_ me _go.”_

_“It’s so hard,” Kashoku sobbed, squeezing his hand tight._

_“It was hard when I lost Sha’re too, but I had my family back at the SGC who helped me through it. You have a family who will help you too. Let them.”_

_Kashoku took in a deep breath and wiped at her tears with her free hand. “I guess my dreams will just have to do for now.”_

_“I’ll pop in if I can,” Daniel assured her._

_Kashoku let out a gentle laugh. “You say that like a dream has nothing better to do than just ‘pop in and out’.”_

_Daniel met her eyes and smiled widely. “Who says I’m a dream?”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit M/F sex and F/F scenes.

“I don’t know how to say it,” Rodd sighed, his voice tired and thick with his Georgian accent. “Every time I think I have the courage to approach her, something happens. I thought I was finally going to be able to do it on Tuesday, but as soon as I opened my mouth she snapped at me.”

Kage let out a heavy sigh as she listened to Rodd pour out his problems. Even Yevon probably was scratching its head at the thought, but somewhere down the line Kage had grown kind of soft around the young and cowardly lieutenant. His recent problems communicating with Kashoku should’ve had her walking out, but instead here she was, giving a sympathetic ear. “That’s because she was battling a massive hangover on Tuesday. Bad timing. If you want my opinion, just let it go. I just managed to convince Kashoku Daniel dying wasn’t her fault. I don’t need you to add to the guilt party that’s going around here. Even if you hadn’t been injured, it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

Rafe placed a gentle hand on Rodd’s shoulder in agreement. “She’s right. Kashoku doesn’t hold you responsible. In fact, she mentioned to me the other day during lunch that she was upset you were ignoring her.”

Rodd lifted his head marginally, a small glimmer of hope in his brown eyes. “Really?”

“Trust me,” Kage said dryly, “Kashoku gets really upset if _anyone_ ignores her. Do you honestly think I liked her when we first met? I became friends with her because it’s easier than hating her.”

Rafe couldn’t help but chuckle. “She really knows how to reel you in, doesn’t she?”

Kage huffed in grievance. “Why are you in the military anyway?” The abrupt question was directed at Rodd. It was something that had been on her mind for a while. Unlike Kage’s own team, SG-1, and most others she’d worked with, Rodd didn’t really fit the soldier mold. She’d actually thought for a while that the guy was like Jackson, pure civilian, until Bentley laughingly corrected her.

Rodd’s shoulders slumped and he sank further into Ramirez’s office chair. “Believe it or not, our military is really only 20% combat, 80% combat support. I was promised a life doing science in front of a computer providing Intel or whatever else was needed. I never wanted to be put in combat situations, but recruiters lie.”

Rafe threw back his head and laughed. “That they most certainly do! Come on, man, you can’t regret it though. You could’ve gotten the desk job you wanted, but you’d never know about what’s out there.”

Rodd hardly looked convinced by that logic. “There are plenty of scientists here who don’t have to see combat. I don’t understand why I can’t be one of them.”

“You do realize that all of the lab rats are civilians, right?” Rafe inquired with an amused upward tug of his lips.

“Yes, I noticed,” he groaned, leaning forward to hide his face in the pillow of his arms.

“So then don’t be afraid anymore,” Kage suggested simply. “You’re too useful on the field brain-wise to get benched, so stop thinking about it and wishing for what won’t happen. Work on what you can change. If you learn to kick ass in combat, you won’t have this problem.”

The confused, despairing look Rodd gave when he dared to peek up at her wasn’t really surprising. She’d just have to show him what she meant. Standing up from her chair, she grabbed hold of Rodd’s jacket collar, heaving him upright with a firm pull and dragging him out of SG-11’s office. “It’ll be a long process, so might as well start now.”

Rodd stumbled and almost fell, unable to get his gangly limbs coordinated as she dragged him about, but another tug from Kage kept him on his feet. She released his collar while he regained his balance, only to put a hand on his back and steer him forward again. “Wait, where are we going?!”

“Where do you think? The gym. Rafe, you coming?” she asked, tossing a look over her shoulder. The man in question was stepping out into the hallway, surprise still all over his face.

“And leave all this paperwork behind – some of which is _yours_?” Rafe asked pointedly. “Damn right I’m coming.”

Rodd managed to wiggle his way out of Kage’s hold while she waited for her teammate to catch up, but he didn’t take his chance to run. His curiosity had him wondering what the terrifying woman had planned. “Why are we going to the gym?”

“You want to man up and not be such a coward anymore, don’t you?” Kage asked as she jammed the elevator button repeatedly.

Rodd shrunk in on himself and shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess?”

Kage placed her hands on her hips and drew herself up so that she seemed far larger than the man before her. “The answer to that question is yes,” she said dangerously, “because if you don’t learn to toughen up you’re likely to put Kashy in danger or get her killed. And if that happens, you’re dead. You get me?” He didn’t get a chance to answer her with the elevator doors opening up behind, but his expression was enough for her to know that he understood. She turned and boarded the elevator and, apprehensively, Rodd followed her.

“Don’t worry,” Rafe spoke cheerfully as the doors closed behind him and the elevator lurched with motion. “I won’t let her kill you.”

If it weren’t for the fact he had absolutely no where to go, Kage was sure Rodd would have bailed as quickly as possible. The elevator ride was brief, but it gave Rodd time to psych himself out and the lieutenant was looking more than a little freaked when the doors opened. It wasn’t far to the gym, however, and sandwiched as he was between her and Rafe, he had no real choice but to see this through. When she kicked off her shoes and stripped off her jacket, tossing it to Rafe to set with his, Rodd hesitantly followed suit. She then moved to the mat in the middle of the room and motioned for him to join her. Rafe stayed along the borders, arms crossed and a smile pulling at his lips.

“Don’t break our boy, Kage,” he cautioned good-naturedly.

“Why? Would you be jealous?” she threw back, sticking the tip of her tongue out through a grin. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll save all that for you.”

“Mm-hmm,” Rafe leered. Then, “Jeremy, if you manage to knock this one on her ass, I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow.”

Rodd swallowed audibly, and Kage threw a quick eye roll at Rafe. “You knock me on my ass, _I’ll_ buy you lunch,” she said dryly. “Alright. Get ready. Put your hands up.” Kage put her own up in emphasis, ready to fight.

She could see Rodd swallow hard again, his brown eyes widening with fear and a bright flush creeping up his neck and ears, freckles popping against the redness.

Kage dropped her hands irritably and placed them on her hips. “I haven’t even hit you yet!”

“But you’re going to!” he argued.

“Yeah, so defend yourself so that I don’t break your nose!”

Rodd’s hands instantly went to covering his nose, and his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation of a hit. Kage almost didn’t even know how to respond to the complete and utter shut down, until she decided to walk up to him and push him flat on his back.

“Ow!” Rodd cried out as he hit the mat with a thud.

“Oh, did that hurt?”

“Yes!”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t closed your eyes, you wouldn’t have ended up down there.” Kage frowned, crossing her arms above him. “Try actually defending yourself next time.”

“It wouldn’t matter if I tried defending myself or not. I’ll still end up down here,” he argued as he pushed himself back up to his feet. His ears were an angry shade of red now, and he refused to look at her. It was such a complete shutdown that Kage quickly decided her initial plan to be gentle with Rodd was just not going to cut it. A quick glance in Rafe’s direction showed him also frowning, and when their eyes met, he nodded imperceptibly.

“Probably,” she agreed with a shrug of her shoulders. “But a shot not taken is a guaranteed miss.” She reached out and shoved Rodd again, not enough to knock him over, but enough to send him back a few steps.

“Cut it out,” he growled as he easily regained his footing. Kage pushed him again. “Stop!”

“Make me,” she challenged, adding extra force to her shove this time. Rodd stayed upright. He didn’t back up when she got closer for another shove, but he didn’t try to keep her away either, despite the sour expression that had wiped the scared look off his face. When she shoved him again, Rodd let out a slight growl as his foot hit the edge of the mat, and his eyes were set in a narrow, warning stare. Kage gave him her bitchiest smile, a nasty mocking curl to her lips. “Gee, Rodd, who taught you to be such a fucking wuss – your mom?”

Rodd snapped. The thin veneer of control he’d been hanging onto was thrown out the window, and she barely got through all the words before a hand connected with her chest in a surprisingly strong show of force. Her back slammed down against the mat and for a second, air wouldn’t come.

“Don’t you ever talk about my mom!” Rodd snapped from above her, his brow creased in anger. From the tension throughout his body and the veins standing prominent on his fists and forearms, he looked like he’d like to follow her down and make sure she listened. Kage kept her mouth shut.

Rafe, however, felt no such need. He exploded with laughter on the sidelines, covering his mouth as he whooped. “Aw, shit, you did it now, Kage. You never insult a southern boy’s mama.”

The moment of shock shifted into a quiet delight as Kage sat up and gave Rodd a smile, ignoring her teammate and the pain in her chest. He’d hit her right on her fucking _boobs_ which hurt like a bitch, but Kage was willing to forgive Rodd that in light of his success. “See? You do have it in you. Looks like Rafe and I owe you a lunch.”

The praise seemed to pull through Rodd’s haze of anger. As the realization hit, the man reverted back into cringing submission, grabbing his ginger curls in a panic. “Oh god, I’m so sorry! I just wanted you to stop! Please don’t kill me!”

Kage groaned and flopped back on the mat as Rafe began laughing anew. “Well… It’s a start.”

~*~

Kashoku might have been imagining it, but she was sure that it wasn’t just Rodd that was ignoring her lately. Wells had seemed to be giving her the cold shoulder of late, and it had been eating at her since she noticed it. Usually he would go out of his way to speak with her or invite her to eat with him, but there had been none of that for the past two weeks. But, she hadn’t exactly taken the initiative, either. Maybe that was it. With a sigh she looked down at her watch and noticed that it was close to lunch time. She should invite him to go to the chow hall with her.

Pushing her chair back away from the desk she rose and put on a smile as she approached his desk. “Hey!”

“Hey,” he spoke drearily, evading her gaze by staring straight at his computer screen.

“It’s almost lunch time. You wanna go?” She asked hopefully.

“I’ve got too much work to do right now,” He responded plainly, beginning to type away fervently.

Kashoku bit at her lip, worriedly. Wells always looked for an excuse to get out of doing any kind of work. “You need to eat. You sure you can’t take a break?”

Wells sucked in an annoyed breath and glared up at her. “I said I was busy.”

She flinched at the tone of his voice, the pure venom unexpected in it. “Ok, I’m sorry,” she spoke slowly as she backed away from him feeling crushed that her suspicions had proved to be correct. Looking up she looked longingly at Rodd who looked like he might ask if he could tag along. “You want to go?”

She was sure he was about to say yes, but he looked down at his watch and shook his head. “Sorry, I got to be somewhere in a few minutes.”

Kashoku didn’t say anything as she disappointingly turned on her heel and walked out on her own.

 

After almost two weeks of being completely ignored by half of her team, Kashoku was excited to go on the next mission. Being out in the universe meant that Rodd and Wells had to interact with her at some point. Kashoku had accepted rather quickly that Rodd would need to approach her on his own, but what really bothered her more than anything was the cold shoulder from Wells. He had taken every opportunity to avoid her. She was sure they hadn’t even exchanged a ‘good morning’ in the past week. At least if they were split up, she knew he’d be forced to talk with her then. They always paired up together.

As though hearing her thoughts, Wells caught Ellis’s attention as their commander finished speaking with the general of this city’s military. “I’ll go with Carr to check out the armory on the eastern side. See if their aircraft are as cool as they claim.”

Kashoku whipped her head to the side to stare angrily at her teammate as Wells gazed off into the distance. What was wrong with him lately? By all rights Kashoku should’ve been the one acting strange after Daniel’s death, and yet here Wells was, acting as though she were contagious!

Even Ellis seemed surprised by the pairing, but unlike Kashoku he let it slide off easily with a shrug. “Okay. Rodd and Kash, go check out that greenhouse thing General Jiva was talking about while I go with him to meet the governor.”

“Yes, sir!” Rodd spoke up enthusiastically as he moved to stand next to Kashoku.

“Geez, what is this, fucking Freaky Friday?” Ellis muttered as he walked off with the elder general. Kashoku could distantly hear the general inquiring what Ellis meant by his comment, but they were too far away to hear her commander’s response.

To her left, Carr was calling for Wells to wait up, his partner had set off seconds after Ellis turned his back. No doubt to avoid any more time spent around her, she thought bitterly. Why _was_ he acting so strange? Was it possible that Wells thought she _should_ have been able to save Daniel and was holding a grudge? No, Kashoku didn’t believe that. She wouldn’t. But maybe it was possible that after seeing her White Mage fail her, Wells was reevaluating how safe he felt around her.

Kashoku kicked at the ground, irritable with all this second guessing. It all sounded stupid in her head, and maybe that was the problem. Maybe Wells was just being an idiot – just being a guy, Sam would no doubt tell her with a scoff – and would come around. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take.

“Are you okay?” Rodd asked Kashoku, touching her lightly on the arm. Judging by the concern on his face, it wasn’t the first time he’d spoken to her.

She hadn’t even realized he had been talking to her. With a shake of her head to clear those thoughts away, she nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I got a little lost in my head there. Lead the way.”

“Right!” He grinned as he stepped back and headed down the marked dirt path with a bounce. “I’m kind of excited to see this system they are using for their crops. We’ve been working on something similar back on earth, but sustainability has been a big issue, and whenever we get close to a solution, circumstances arise to set everything back again. But it sounds like the greenhouse they’ve built actually reads and adapts to nutrient levels in the soil to produce good crops with limited strain on the earth. If we can figure out how to replicate that on Earth, it could really revolutionize farming.”

Rodd made a quick face. “Of course, it would have to be declassified first and knowing the government, I doubt the technology would be made available to the people who really need it, whose livelihood could only be benefited by something like this. It’ll probably be hushed up or sold to the highest bidder. But one day, Kashoku, I guarantee it, the Stargate Program will be declassified and this kind of thing will have to get out, and then the real good can come.”

He seemed so alive right then, the bright sunlight of Ghamor setting his red curls aflame, grinning at her with freckle-spotted cheeks as he segued back into rhapsodizing on farming methods. The warm, largely-pastoral planet was good for Rodd, who had told her on their first mission here that it reminded him of his childhood. That mission had been spent acquainting themselves with the local city’s military, and then the military’s ground mounts. They hadn’t been all that different from the horses of Earth, except Ghamorese mounts had a great deal more size and bulk to them. Had it not been for Rodd’s great enthusiasm over the horses, her team’s alarm likely would’ve been taken as an insult; instead, they’d all been offered ponies into the city and a grand dinner, and were sent home with an invitation back.

To Carr’s clear relief, no one had met them with horses today. Rodd, however, had seemed disappointed when they’d stepped through and were told they wouldn’t need to ride anywhere. None of that earlier disappointment showed now as he waved at a pair of children leading a pony twice their height in the opposite direction. The children shyly waved back and fell into giggling whispers as they passed.

“You’re unusually bubbly today, even for having new technology to go explore,” she commented, a soft smile on her lips, though she regarded him with confusion. She was glad for the fact Rodd was finally making an effort to talk with her again, but she couldn’t help but be taken aback by his sudden loquaciousness. Much as Rodd liked Ghamor, he’d practically tried to melt into the floor during the briefing when Ellis attributed the first mission’s success to him. It wasn’t comfort or pride of recognition loosening her teammate’s tongue or having him stand taller today, and she doubted he’d really gotten over whatever was keeping him distant of late. It must be something else, she decided, eyeing him curiously.

Rodd blushed under her perusal and gave a half-hearted shrug, clearly trying to sober up outwardly. “I’m just really excited about this morning, I guess.”

Kashoku shuffled through the various events of the morning, trying to think what he could possibly be excited about, but truth be told, she hadn’t even seen him until they were going through the gate. “What happened this morning?” she asked, genuinely curious now.

Rodd stopped, planting his feet firmly on the ground with squared shoulders and a proudly puffed chest. “I hit Kage. Properly, too, not just a shove.”

Kashoku could feel herself flinch in surprise at the comment, mouth gaping. “I-wait- _What_ did you say?” Almost unbidden, Kashoku perused her teammate’s body, checking for any obvious injuries. Nothing stood out, but the uniforms covered almost the entire body. Or perhaps Rodd had been sensible enough to go to the infirmary – but then Janet would want to know what had happened. Was Kage going to be sent back to Spira? Kashoku stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Rodd as these disastrous thoughts flew through her mind.

Rodd laughed, something he so rarely did, and he looked so happy that Kashoku slowly closed her mouth and just looked at him in wonder. “Kage’s been training me,” he explained as he gestured for them to slowly start back on their walk, “to help me try to get over my fear of, well, everything.”

This kept getting more and more unbelievable. “Kage? As in Kage from Spira is _training_ you? How exactly is that going?”

“Painfully,” Rodd sighed in amusement. “You should have seen the bruises I had after our sessions earlier this week.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?!” Kashoku cried. She couldn’t decide which emotion was dominant in that moment - irritation that Kage had actually gone as far as to hit him or hurt that he hadn’t come to her for help.

“Kage made me swear under threat of fist to go to Dr. Fraiser instead of you,” he said. “Although I’m pretty sure she was a lot angrier about it than you would have been.”

Kashoku rolled her eyes, not at all surprised that Kage was trying to keep this a secret from her. But, honestly, once she got past the shock of it all… She felt a sense of pride that Kage was reaching out to one of her teammates, especially that it was Rodd. He would have been the last person she would have figured Kage would offer a helping hand to, and yet here he was, proudly telling her about landing a hit on a woman who’d not-so-secretly terrified him for months. Kashoku let out a slow breath and placed a gentle hand on Rodd’s shoulder. “Well…just be careful, okay? Kage sometimes doesn’t know her own strength.”

“Tell me about it,” he groaned as he absently rubbed at his nose, clearly in remembrance of a wound now healed. “Major Rafe comes to all our sessions to make sure she doesn’t kill me.”

“Good,” Kashoku nodded, satisfied that at least someone was watching his back. “So… It’s working, you think?”

Rodd shrugged. “Maybe? I guess I won’t really know until we come into contact on a mission. I have a long way to go still, but… Yeah.” He smiled sweetly at her. “I think maybe at least now my first thought won’t be to run away. It’ll just be my second.”

“You punched Kage and lived to tell the tale,” Kashoku teased. “I’m pretty sure it won’t be you running away when that gets out.” Rodd ducked his head in shy pleasure, and Kashoku gave him a moment to recover before she shifted the conversation. “So is all this confidence boosting what made you decide to finally speak to me again?” She asked it in jest, not wanting to hurt his feelings bringing up the subject, but she couldn’t deny that subject any longer.

Rodd’s mood visibly dimmed as he hung his head, his entire countenance portraying shame for having ignored her at all. “Sort of. I was feeling so bad that first week that just seeing you was awful. I kept trying to apologize to you, but I could never get the courage. Kage told me that you didn’t blame me, that you were upset I had been ignoring you, but I just couldn’t do it until today. I’m sorry.”

“Ah, so you’ll believe Kage, but not me? I’m hurt,” Kashoku spoke with a pout. “Next thing you know, you’ll say you like her more than me.”

Rodd looked honestly mortified at the accusation. “Not to be rude, but there’s no way that would ever happen. Even when she’s being nice, she’s scary.”

For the first time since Daniel died, Kashoku doubled over in laughter. She had missed the feeling of letting herself be able to let her problems go, and for a moment she even forgot about being mad at Wells. “Come on,” she breathed in between the fading giggles. “We’ve got a job to do, my badass friend.”

It turned out that the Ghamorese indeed had more to offer than just oversized horses. Rodd had given an excited thumbs up to the greenhouse technology and when they rendezvoused with their team, Wells and Carr reported positive things about their aircraft. SG-15 returned to Earth with good news for Hammond that would hopefully lead to treaty talks with one of the political teams within the next few weeks, and Kashoku herself was feeling decidedly happier with her team situation.

She’d had time on the walk back to the gate to think about how she was going to approach Wells, but when she arrived back at the office after changing into her civilian clothes, her new plan crumbled around her. He was already long gone. With a frustrated sigh she let her purse fall on top of his desk. “Damn it…”

Before she could regroup mentally and think up a plan B, a familiar voice was calling from the open doorway behind her. “Oh, good, you’re still here!” Sam Carter was leaning in the doorway, a cheerful smile on her face. “I saw that you guys had gotten back in not long ago. I was hoping I’d catch you before you left.”

Kashoku returned the smile, happy to see her friend. Between SG-1’s grounding following Daniel’s death and SG-15 picking up some of the lead team’s slack, there just hadn’t been any time lately for them to see one another. Sam looked worlds better than the last time they’d crossed paths, only a few days following the funeral. “Hey! Yeah, lucky for you I forgot something and had to come get it. What’s up?”

Sam walked in and pulled up a chair to the center island, Kashoku following suit. “There was kind of something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Kashoku’s heart sank in worry at her friend’s serious expression. “Is everything okay?”

“No, yeah, yeah!” Sam responded swiftly. “Everything’s fine. We were just going through Daniel’s things and we’ve been trying to figure out what to do with a lot of it. He doesn’t have any family that we can give it to. I realized that his Jeep was still parked here and since it’s paid off I thought… Well, maybe you’d want it?” She pulled the keys in question from her pocket and set them on the desk.

Kashoku blinked in surprise. “You want me to have his car?”

“Well, yeah,” Sam nodded. “It can’t just sit there forever, and it would save us the trouble of having to put it up on the market. This way you wouldn’t have to rely on your teammates to give you rides all the time either. Plus,” she gave her a sad smile, “I really think he’d want you to have it.”

Kashoku gingerly reached out for the keys. It wasn’t just Daniel’s car key on the chain, four or five others keeping it company. She fiddled with them, fondly thinking about where each one went and memories of what they unlocked. One for his apartment, one for the safe in his closet, one for the china cabinet with his most precious small artifacts, his office key… With a hesitant nod she decided. “Okay. I… Thank you, Sam. I really appreciate it. This will help out a lot.”

Sam took her hands in hers and squeezed before moving to stand. “I really wish I could hang out tonight, but I’ve got a ton of work to do in the lab. Any plans for the weekend?”

“Well, I hope so, now,” Kashoku responded, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “Saturday night, around 8?”

“Great,” Sam grinned. “I’ll see if Janet can join us too. I’d invite Kage, but…”

“Mm, she doesn’t have that much of a leash quite yet,” Kashoku laughed. “Maybe if she continues to behave, we’ll get there.”

“How’s she doing anyway?” Sam asked thoughtfully as they set off together down the hall to the elevator.

“You know? Really good,” Kashoku replied, a fulfilling feeling rising up within her as she spoke those words. “She’s finding her place, and she hangs out with her team a lot more than me.”

Sam’s brows shot up in surprise. “Wow. On purpose?”

Kashoku giggled. “Yeah, on purpose. I think she’s even conspiring to steal my own team away from me. Carr spent all of yesterday moaning about how she keeps whipping his butt at basketball. And did you know she’s taken Jeremy under her wing as her apprentice?”

The face Sam gave her was about the same she had given Rodd at that information. “She _what?!”_

“Yeah!” Kashoku confirmed with a nod. “She’s apparently been teaching him how to fight! It’s crazy.”

Sam shook her head in pleased disbelief. “That’s great, though. I have to admit, I didn’t think she’d make it.”

“You weren’t the only one,” Kashoku agreed, and they continued to catch up until the elevator opened up on the lab floor. “Don’t work too hard,” she bid her friend.

“Who needs sleep?” Sam joked. She stepped out and waved, and Kashoku pressed the button for the exit floor.

It was a weird feeling getting behind the wheel of the Jeep she had ridden in so many times. Nothing had changed from the last time she had been in it. It was still immaculately clean and the same Egyptian charm hung from the mirror. She turned on the engine and moved to shift gears when she noticed the phone connected to the charger, sitting in the groove on the dash. “Typical Daniel,” she smiled fondly as she reached for it. “Always leaving his phone in here.” The car, even turned off, had kept the phone charge and it lit up instantly as she pressed the button on the side. There were notifications of several missed calls, texts, and voicemails, but her heart stopped when she noticed the picture behind the notifications.

It was her.

The photo had been taken at the zoo on their last date. She had several bright colored birds perched on her shoulder and the seed stick she had been holding. Even after all those weeks he had never changed it. Lowering the phone she bit at her lip, refusing to cry. Daniel was gone, and continuing to hold on to his memory wasn’t going to change anything. Right now, she needed to save the relationships of those that were still alive. Gathering herself back together she placed the vehicle in reverse and attempted to remember the route to Wells’s house.

~*~

“So how about it? You up for another night on the town?” Ramirez asked, her hip cocked out to the side as she leaned against the lockers. Her long thick hair was down, curling over one shoulder and just touching the name of some band whose cover art decorated her black t-shirt. She wasn’t really dressed for a night on the town as Kage had come to expect, the other woman tending towards lower necklines and nicer jeans than that worn looking pair to entice more free drinks her way, so Kage felt more confident in turning down the offer.

“I don’t know,” she voiced hesitantly, almost regretting her answer if only for rejecting a chance at the outside world. “I didn’t think I’d ever say it, but almost two weeks straight of going out and drinking? I’m kind of tired of it. And I can’t take another night of Bentley.”

Ramirez gave a knowing laugh as she shifted her weight, not looking bothered at all. “Yeah, I can understand that. I guess after so many years with him I’ve learned to just pretend he doesn’t exist.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not there yet,” Kage said as she reached back to tie her hair up.

“Well, I can go get us some movies and dinner? Bring it back here and just stay in for the night,” she suggested.

Kage shrugged. “That’s fine. But you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I think I can survive a boring night by myself.”

“Yeah, well,” Ramirez looked away, “maybe I just want to, okay? You can even invite Kashoku if you want.”

Kage thought about that. It had been a while since she and Kashoku had really hung out with each other, but she had a feeling this late in the day the woman was already gone. Standing up she reached for her friend’s locker and popped it open because Yevon forbid the woman get a damn lock for the thing. Her purse was absent. “Looks like she’s already got plans.”

“Probably for the better. Knowing _puta bonita_ she would have wanted to watch some fucking sappy chick flick.” Ramirez pulled out her own personal items from her locker before slamming it shut and shoving her hands in her back pockets. “Any food suggestions?”

“Whatever’s fine,” Kage answered, truly indifferent to any of her options. She had never been extremely picky with food, and Earth did have a lot more variety than Spira so it kept it interesting.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit then,” Ramirez said, flashing a smile as she backed out of the locker room.

Kage popped out the crick in her neck before she closed her own locker and headed back to her room on base. In the last month alone, it had become significantly more inviting than the militaristic cell with a door it had seemed like when she first decided to stay. The walls were still hideous, but Kashoku and even her teammates had gotten or lent her things here and there that gave the room a more personal touch, and on top of the dresser her garment grid cast orange hues on the room that Kage rather liked.

She had never really had a place to call home before, not back on Spira. Her bed was wherever she could find one when she was hunting. _Lunestis_ was as close as she’d come, but even then it had been a bed set in the corner of an airship. She would never be caught dead admitting it to Kashoku, but she kind of liked it here.

Turning on the TV, Kage kicked off her boots and plopped back onto her bed. She wasn’t sure when Ramirez would be back, so she might as well get comfortable.

~*~

By the time Kashoku finally made it to Wells’s house through the missed turns and heavy traffic, it was almost dark. The sun was gone beneath the visible horizon and only a few rays still lit up the sky in the distance. Wells’s house seemed dark, its porch light off, but his car was in the driveway and she could see a light on in the kitchen as she pulled in. Probably feeding Justice, she thought fondly, killing the engine.

Emotionally, Kashoku didn’t feel up to this confrontation anymore, but now that she was here and not driving around endlessly, she couldn’t turn back. This conversation needed to happen, and maybe she should wait for Wells to come to her, but… A part of her knew that he wouldn’t come to her on base. So she strode across the yard, shoulders back, and if there was hesitation when she reached the door, nobody was there to notice. She reached out and rang the doorbell.

Instantly, Justice was at the door barking. If it weren’t for the fact she was well acquainted with the dog he would have sounded very intimidating. Even still, the time she was left standing there, the Irish Setter kicking up a fuss on the other side of the door, was almost enough to have her changing her mind. Maybe Wells was out for a run or something. She shifted and made to turn away, but the porch light switched on at that moment, the locks tumbled, and Wells stood on the other side of the door, surprise on his face.

“Kash? What the hell are you doing here? How- Whose car is that?” he asked, giving the empty Jeep a confused look.

“Um, it’s mine,” she explained simply, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous motion. “Can I come in?” she asked. She didn’t want to talk about her new Jeep, or let Wells side-track the conversation.

He looked uncertain, closing the door slightly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please let me in,” Kashoku pleaded, putting one hand on the frame and the other on the door itself, keeping it from shutting on her. She wasn’t putting any weight into it, so Wells could’ve easily dislodged her, but he didn’t push back.

Instead, Wells stepped away from the door with a heavy sigh, opening it with him, and turned his back as she walked in behind him. Justice stopped barking finally, recognizing her once she was fully inside, and eagerly showered Kashoku’s hands with kisses. Wells continued towards the kitchen, and with one last pat to Justice, she followed after him. He was leaning heavily against the counter, nursing a glass of whiskey. The decanter was a few feet away on the table, so he must’ve been working on it before she showed up.

Wells met her troubled frown with a supercilious look, brow raised challengingly. He took a pointed sip of the whiskey, smacked his lips, and spoke. “Why are you here?” His voice, at least, was at odds with his arrogant demeanor, low and bogged down with exhaustion from their long week. It emboldened Kashoku, a new lick of irritation bolstering her tongue as she realized he was putting on an act, pushing her away in a way that just wasn’t _Wells_.

“Why have you been acting this way?” she demanded.

“Acting what way, Kash?” he asked.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she countered angrily. “Ever since Daniel died you’ve refused to do anything with me, including saying ‘hi’! You do your best to avoid me at every turn and won’t even acknowledge my presence when we’re in the same room together. You’ve been an ass! Why?!”

Wells put the glass to his lips and downed the entire last finger of whiskey. “If I recall, Rodd has been doing the exact same thing and I don’t see you running off to his house to yell at him.”

“That’s because Jeremy is not _you!"_  She shouted out, her heart stopping as the words left her lips. She had never meant to admit that. Wells knew it too by the way his eyes widened and his grip on his empty glass tightened, trying to bring it up for an aborted sip before he gingerly set it down on the counter. She could feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest, but there was no going back now. “I can’t lose _another_ person I’m close too, Brandon. I can’t. Please don’t shut me out.”

Wells licked his lips and looked away, his entire belligerent attitude dropping until he stood there, pressed against the counter like a man lost, tired but honest. “I don’t know how to approach you anymore, knowing that I was partly responsible for you not being able to save Jackson,” he admitted, voice rough with regret. “And that I…” He made a frustrated noise after he trailed off, scrubbing at his face and hair roughly, but he didn’t continue. He just looked at Kashoku guiltily.

She could’ve pressed, but really, Kashoku didn’t need to. She knew, just as Daniel had known but never mentioned, what always sat unacknowledged between her and Wells. Instead she focused on what he had said, biting back her frustrated laugh because how _stupid_ these men in her life were. “You weren’t responsible, and neither was Jeremy. That kind of affliction is not something I can cure, even at full strength. I just can’t.” She sighed and tucked her hair back again. “I wish you had talked to me, Brandon. I could’ve told you this weeks ago. My healing you had nothing to do with my inability to help Daniel. You shouldn’t feel guilty.

“We’re in a dangerous line of work and people are going to die. Daniel knew that and he accepted his death. I’ve let it go. Please do the same. I _hate_ it when you don’t talk to me. I _hate_ it when you look away and don’t acknowledge me. With Jeremy I could take it. I knew he would come around on his own, but _you?_ ”

Wells didn’t meet her gaze for a long time, absently tapping his glass gently on the counter top as he watched Justice gnaw on a toy in the doorway. For a while the dog’s playful growls were the only noise in the kitchen before Wells looked up at her with tired eyes. “Why?”

“What?” she asked startled.

“Why me?” he asked again. Slowly, he set the glass down levelly and straightened up, waiting.

Kashoku took in a deep breath, trying to sort through all the hundreds of reasons she could tell him that would answer his question. She didn’t voice any of those reasons. Instead she thought back to what he had almost said, and all the moments they’d used to share together, and came to a decision. She licked her lips and took a step forward, and bravely answered, “I could ask you the same thing.”

There was only a second’s pause before Wells dove in and pressed their lips together. Kashoku leaned into the kiss, reaching up to grab at his arms to steady herself. As soon as she gave that indication this was what she wanted, Wells let loose. He wrapped his strong arms around her torso and lifted her up, turning to set her level with him on the counter.

It was as though something had finally been set free within the both of them, a desperate need that they’d pushed down and ignored for too long. This wasn’t the time for slow or sensual. It wasn’t anything Kashoku had ever had with Daniel. Instead, the energy filling the room was desperate and purely sexual. There was no talking, no going slow. They grabbed at each other’s clothing, ripping and clawing to get to skin, pulling away only to shuck shirts off, and then joining their mouths again desperately.

Wells’s hands were all over her skin, unable to quench his thirst by the touches alone, his mouth burning hotly across her neck, jaw, the edge of a breast where the bra’s cup ended. His thumb slipped under the wire to rub the base of her breast while his fingers danced across her ribs and Kashoku arched into the touch, dragging his head down to pillow between her breasts. His tongue dipped below the gore and licked a hot trail up the valley, and Kashoku pulled him back up to her mouth by his hair, kissing him over and over, sucking and nipping at his jaw while her legs tried to pull him in closer.

When Kashoku shoved her hands down his pants, brushing against his straining penis through the cotton of his boxers, Wells hissed and buried his face in the crook of her neck, pulling her hand away. Before she could try again, he was slipping his hands under her thighs and lifting her up, Kashoku hurriedly locking her arms around his neck as he carried her over to the couch, cursing as he almost tripped over Justice. Kashoku hit the couch harder than she would have normally liked, but the fact Wells followed her down, shifting between the spread of her legs, and swooped into another long kiss like he couldn’t get enough more than silenced any complaints. Kashoku threw her head back and moaned as he pushed her bra up and sucked a nipple into his mouth, other hand palming her other breast until he lifted his head to lathe at that one, a hint of teeth grazing the nipple and drawing a hiss from her. Her nails raked across Wells’s back lightly, and her hands groped down and underneath his pants to grip his ass firmly.

Wells jerked slightly in her grip and huffed out a low moan. He maneuvered himself upright with a last kiss and crawled up her slightly, one hand reaching over her towards the drawer in the stand. Cursing when he still couldn’t reach, Wells moved to his knees and leaned over her more. As he finally got the drawer open, Kashoku licked her lips at the expanse of torso and covered groin before her. Rising to her elbows she licked and kissed his stomach, the muscles tensing at her ministrations as Wells let out a frustrated growl and his search became more frantic. Kashoku laughed and laid back down to eagerly pop the button of his jeans, carefully tugging the zipper and then pants down enough to free him except for his boxers, and palming him with precise touches. Wells’s penis strained against the fabric, precum leaking out to wet the material. Kashoku had just leaned forward to suck at the wetness when Wells let out a victorious cry and sat back. She tried not to pout too much, choosing instead to sit up and meet him in another open-mouthed kiss, hands slipping behind her back to undo her bra until she gave it up for too tangled, dragging it over her head uncomfortably instead.

Wells made good use of the time she was struggling to shove his pants and boxers down. He was quick and methodical with the aluminum wrapper and took only a moment to appreciate the sight of her beneath him, pupils blow, nipples hard and red, lips spit-slick and swollen, tongue caught between her teeth as she laid back and looked her fill. They were both too needy to linger long though. Kashoku made a soft noise in the back of her throat and touched his bare thigh, and Wells had his lips back on hers before she could even catch her breath. His hands fumbled with her zipper, and she tried to scramble up the couch to shove them down just as he yanked hard on her jeans and underwear, her slender body sliding down the couch with them and a yelp. With a snort, Kashoku wiggled higher and grabbed the couch before Wells pulled again. This time the clothes went without their owner.

Both of their jeans were just pushed down off their waists, but Wells was pressing in and Kashoku’s back arched with a loud gasp as she felt herself grow completely full. It was uncomfortable, but it was exactly what she wanted in that moment. Wells didn’t give her much time to adjust, keeping with the fast pace they had started with. Kashoku clawed at his back, certain she was drawing blood, but Wells was playing right along as he bit at her lower lip.

This wasn’t loving sex, couldn’t be anything but a primal rough fuck, she knew. She and Wells were having a silent battle of dominance, broken only by their harsh grunts and moans, and Kashoku decided she wanted to be the winner of their friendly skirmish. With a forceful shove she pushed Wells up and out of her, his surprise giving her time to scramble the rest of the way out of her clothing and shove him back against the back of the couch.

He looked up at her with lust blown eyes, showing no indication that he was rejecting her need for control. Sinking down into his lap she grabbed onto his hair forcefully and latched back onto his mouth. His nails dug into the small of her back, then down to palm roughly at her ass, and she moaned encouragingly into his lips. His hips began moving to meet her and before long she had to pull away from his lips to let out a sharp gasp as her body trembled with orgasm. She felt paralyzed with pleasure as she continued to quiver.

Wells took the opportunity to take back control and had her slammed back into the cushions, his breaths and movements becoming more and more erratic before he was crying out against her lips and he came to a halt above her. Their breaths came out in pants, Kashoku rubbing soft circles into Wells’s forearm and their eyes locked onto one another. When his breathing finally evened back out he reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that was stuck to her sweaty forehead before leaning down and kissing her long and hard.

Breaking their kiss, he stood and pulled off the condom, tying it off and padding to the kitchen to throw it away. When he came back, he reached down and laced his fingers with hers, tugging her up with him. He shrugged his jeans all the way off onto the floor and led her silently to the bathroom before letting go of her hand to turn the knobs to the shower. Kashoku stepped in and let the hot water flow over her skin. There was a sharp hiss as it hit areas where Wells had broken skin, but when he stepped under the spray with her she could see she had done the same to him. She was still wearing her ring, so with a gentle touch to one of the welts on his arm, she let her magic flow until the bruises and cuts disappeared without a trace.

Wells tugged her into his arms and gently ran his hands across her body, rubbing away the sweat and, perhaps, taking the chance to explore her more patiently. They stood there in each other’s arms without a word spoken until the water grew cold. Wells dressed himself in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of boxers before handing Kashoku one of his own shirts and dragging her to the bed. They settled next to each other, Kashoku placing her head against his chest and his arm wrapping protectively around her waist.

“I don’t regret it,” Kashoku spoke softly, breaking the silence. Even though there wasn’t an air of awkwardness between them, she felt it needed to be said.

“Well, if I did I wouldn’t have let you stay around,” Wells said with his returned cockiness. “Have to admit, though, it feels a lot like a rebound.” He gave a snort. “I would know.”

Kashoku felt a stab of guilt run through her, and she lifted herself off of his chest. “I’m so sorry I-”

Wells gently reached for her arm and pulled her back down. “I never said that I wasn’t okay with it. In my experience rebound sex is the best sex, and you hardly disappointed.”

Kashoku smiled against his shirt, but she wasn’t completely convinced. “It’s not like that…not completely. Daniel and I had been done for a while. I just… I need to be near someone. I need the closeness, but Brandon,” she moved her head so that her chin was resting against his and her eyes met his. “You’ll get in trouble. You said there were rules about teammates and relationships. I don’t think I could stand it if something happened to you.”

“Trouble is understating it,” he sighed. “We go to jail for that sort of thing. At least, we’re supposed to. But hey!” He spoke with a more light-hearted tone, “None of us have ever exactly been ones to follow the rules before, so why start conforming now? Besides…” He sighed, looking more serious as he stared up at the ceiling. “You aren’t the only one who could use the closeness. I’ve tried just having a friend-with-benefits relationship with some girls, but no matter how great the sex was I could never just talk with any of them about work. I never wanted a serious commitment with them, but some days it’s just nice to talk with someone about how I got captured by some Jaffa and thought that today might have been my last. I’m not saying let’s be in a relationship – it would never work – but for now… Maybe we can just be with each other?”

Kashoku curled into his side and grinned. “That’s an eloquent way of calling us friends-with-benefits.”

He rolled his eyes as he turned on his side to meet her. “Would you rather I just call us fuck buddies?”

She smiled wider. “It’s calling it what it is, I suppose.” She let out a small laugh. “Kage would have a field day right now…”

“She can’t know,” he said softly. “No one can.”

“I know,” Kashoku responded with a sigh.

“I mean it. No one. Not Carr, not Michelle, not Kage.”

“I know… Do you think it’s worth it?”

Wells reached up and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Yes. Do you?”

She didn’t answer right away, thinking back to how her and Daniel’s first attempt at a relationship ended up with him being grounded. If they were caught, the consequences would be far worse.

“Yes.”

~*~

It was close to two hours before Ramirez returned, bitching about traffic, but takeout food in one hand and alcohol in the other. “I thought we weren’t drinking?” Kage asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat up on her elbows. She inhaled. “Shit, what is that?”

“You said you were tired of going out and drinking,” Ramirez commented as she set everything down on the table, “This is staying in. And I ordered Chinese, but then I caught a whiff of wings next door when I was buying the beer, so I said fuck it, I’m a goddamn Marine and you’re some kind of alien witch, we can totally eat both.”

“Fair enough,” Kage responded to all of it, cravings for a drink rising up as she eyed the dark brown beer bottles in the various six packs. She climbed off the bed and reached for one instantly while Ramirez laid out the absolutely insane amount of food on the foot of her bed, popping off the top and flinging it into the trash can. “So, what are we watching?”

“I don’t think I can survive another mission where you don’t understand Bentley’s Fight Club references, so we are watching that,” she said simply as she pulled the DVD from one of the bags. “It’s a cult classic that even Kashoku should watch.”

“Good luck with that,” Kage huffed before stuffing a large egg roll into her mouth.

They made it through Fight Club, Kage thoroughly enjoying it as Ramirez had expected, and had gotten about half way through Top Gun. The wings had been absolutely decimated, the Chinese looking barely touched despite how much of it they’d eaten, and the beer was almost out. They were as full and satisfied as they could be when Kage started laughing, leaning more of her weight on Ramirez’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, he _does_ act like that,” she commented, her cheeks a soft red from the buzz. “I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t tried singing to Kashy yet.”

“Don’t count it out just yet,” Ramirez laughed. She had told Kage when they started the movie that Top Gun was kind of corny and really inaccurate, but that all pilots actually were pompous, cocky bastards. Wells and the main character had a lot in common with their personalities, she’d said with a smirk.

Kage definitely couldn’t disagree. “Is that what he flew before he joined the SGC?”

“Similar,” Ramirez nodded. “Those are naval jets, and he’s Air Force, so different model numbers, but pretty much the same. Wells would probably tell you differently, but trust me, _don’t_ let him. He’ll go on and on and will cry when you tell him you don’t give a shit.”

“Ugh,” Kage groaned with a smile as she let herself fall back on her pillows happily. “Thanks for doing this.”

Ramirez fell back next to her, beer still in hand. “Eh, not like I have anything better to do. Antonio can take care of himself. You know, did I tell you what he did? I tried to go by my apartment to grab some real booze, but the fucker doorsocked the damn door. Not his bedroom, Kage, the fucking apartment door. Little shit.” Ramirez started giggling next to her, struggling to hold the beer level so none spilled.

Kage snorted at how amazed her companion sounded, but honestly she wasn’t really following her. It never really seemed to matter with Ramirez though. She tried to remember what she’d been saying before and went back to that. “Yeah, but I mean, you’ve put up with me a lot more than you have to,” she said, struggling to keep her words coherent.

“You’re not so bad,” Ramirez countered, turning her head to smile briefly at her. “I expected a lot worse after all the stories that were going around after your first visit.”

Kage let out a harsh snort. “I can only imagine the things said.”

“Eh, no different than what they all say about us. We’re kind of the outcast team. A bunch of fuckin’ jarheads who have a knack for violence,” Ramirez sighed, taking another swig of her beer. “Marines have never exactly been anyone’s favorite.”

“Fuck ‘em. They’re my favorite,” Kage said, turning her head so that she was staring right at Ramirez.

Ramirez returned her stare, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “Whatever, _chica_ , I’m calling bullshit.”

“No, I’m serious,” Kage insisted, shifting so that she was sitting further upright. “Do you think anyone else would have given me an outlet to let out all my anger and frustration the way you and Rafe do? Or that any other team leader would have _asked_ Hammond to put me on a team?”

“Not in a million years,” Ramirez agreed as she set her beer down on the night stand and adjusted so that she was level with Kage. Her hair was all mussed up and her face was a little ruddy from the booze, and there was a stain of sauce from the wings on her cheek, but she didn’t look anything but beautiful as she met Kage’s gaze.

“So, see? I’m serious. And…” Kage bit at her lower lip. She knew that if she hadn’t been drinking, she’d never have the balls to say this, to do anything but look, but she also knew that she wanted to tell Ramirez, who she’d seen looking before too and who wanted to hang out with Kage tonight even if nobody else was there. “You’re my favorite out of everyone,” she whispered. Ramirez was staring at her blankly, seemingly not really knowing what to say, so Kage swallowed hard, gathered her nerves, and leaned in. The smell of the wing sauce was overpowering this close up, the angle was awkward as hell, and Ramirez’s lips tasted like beer, but her mouth was soft and responsive as Kage kissed her. She slipped her hand up, fingers just brushing Ramirez’s silky hair and the skin of her neck, and it felt like her stomach was in knots she was so happy – and then Ramirez inhaled sharply and shoved Kage back and over the side of the bed.

“What the _fuck_?!” Ramirez scrambled off the bed on the other side, her eyes wide. Kage could only stare in stunned silence as she climbed to her knees. Shouldn’t _she_ be saying that? “What the _fuck_ gave you the idea that you could just do that?!” Ramirez demanded.

“I’m sorry, I thought-” Kage started, confusion in her voice. She was too off-kilter to really snap back, too thrown by this sudden turn of events at the moment, but Ramirez had no such problem, cutting her off.

“Whatever the hell you thought, fucking forget it!” Her body was trembling despite the fierce words, and it wasn’t anger in her brown eyes as she tried to glare at Kage, bending over and dragging her socks and shoes on with jerky, hurried motions. Clearly the woman was intent on not staying a moment longer.

Kage clenched her lower jaw shut. She was well aware of the risk she had been taking when she made a move, but this reaction was blowing it well out of proportion. She climbed to her feet and tried to soothe over the situation as best she could in her buzzed state. “Shit, Ramirez, all you had to do is say no. I just thought I had seen you eyeing up women at the bars and-”

“You fucking _didn’t_! Do you understand me?” Ramirez was across the small room in seconds, hands gripping tightly around the collar of her shirt. “You never saw that!”

Kage’s heart was beating fast, pounding in her ears. She had never seen her friend look like this, and it had _her_ terrified. “No, I don’t-”

“Kage! I have _never_ looked at another woman like that and neither have you! Do. You. Understand?” Her fingers were gripped so tightly they were turning pale and Kage could feel the fine tremors running through them even if she somehow hadn’t seen what was before her eyes.

She gently placed her hands on Ramirez’s and squeezed, trying to offer some small comfort against whatever this was as she gave an unsure nod. “Yeah… Yeah, I got it,” she said softly.

Ramirez removed her hands swiftly, as if Kage’s touch caused burns on her skin. Her breaths were quick and she stood there simply staring for several moments, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she spun around, grabbed her keys from the top of the dresser, and fled with a slam of the door.

Kage sat heavily on the bed, confusion, rejection, and worry replacing the warm fuzzy buzz she’d been enjoying just five minutes before, and in the background Top Gun droned on.

“What the hell just happened?”

~*~

The next morning didn’t bring any more clarity. All morning long Ramirez not only ignored any attempts at a conversation, but she was blatantly being a _bitch_. That was saying something coming from her, but the other woman was snapping at her for everything from asking questions to ribbing Bentley about the date he’d had the night before, even though Ramirez herself normally gave the man way worse for his thinly veiled booty calls. Even Bentley had taken Kage’s side, but Ramirez ripped into him so bad he just held up his hands and went back to his own work until he could flee to SG-15’s office without Connors having his ass. Rafe actually pulled rank on Ramirez at one point, telling her she was damn lucky Connors wasn’t around, but the warning only reined the Latina in marginally. She was all over the place and Kage wanted to help her, but the more time spent in the small room with her and Rafe’s narrowed, suspicious gaze, the angrier Kage got. It was barely approaching lunchtime when she had to storm out, the only alternative before she started throwing fists.

In the hallway, she hesitated. She could go to SG-15’s lab like Bentley did, but no doubt he had told everyone he passed about Ramirez’s warpath, and she feared she might actually snap if she had to hear a single word about it from Carr or Wells, asking her what she’d done. She _knew_ what had set Ramirez off – she just didn’t know why. And with the woman in question making it clear there would be blood if Kage tried to approach her to clear things up, Kage wasn’t likely to have an answer anytime soon. That left only the gym where at least the equipment could be replaced if she lost it.

Unfortunately, some people on her team couldn’t leave well enough alone. Luckily for the SGC, it wasn’t Ramirez.

“What the hell is up with you two?” Rafe called out, having finally tracked her down. She’d had a good few minutes with the punching bag before he arrived, so he must have gone to SG-15’s office first. Or he’d taken the opportunity of privacy to give Ramirez the same third-degree he was about to give her. Kage landed a kick so hard that the punching bag flew off its hook.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you fucking ask her?” Kage hissed as she reached down for the chain to lift the bag back up.

“I did. I can only assume she told me to go do something very inappropriate to myself in Spanish,” he responded as he moved to a mat and motioned for her to join him.

“Well, maybe you should follow her advice.” She took a fighting stance and they began to maneuver around each other. Normally she tried to wait Rafe out, but today she was angry. She faked to the right and then came at Rafe hard.

“It might be interesting to try,” Rafe responded, dodging a fist and ducking around to the side of her, “but I think I’d like to figure out why both of you are being royal assholes first.” He blocked Kage’s next kick and stepped back warily when she backed up a few steps and gave him a measuring look. “You two were bosom buddies when I saw you yesterday. The hell happened?”

Kage thought about not telling him, but she figured that if anyone knew Ramirez it would be Rafe. She sighed as she got back into a fighting stance, and across from her, Rafe mirrored her actions. “We stayed in last night and watched some moves, had a few beers,” she breathed as she threw a few punches and followed with a kick that just missed from side swiping his feet from under him.

“Okay, and? Sounds normal.”

“And I kissed her.”

Rather than deflecting her next punch, Rafe grabbed Kage’s wrist and jerked her in close, grabbing onto her and literally dropping like a rock to the mat. They both landed like shit, the wind rushing from Kage as she landed, and half under her, Rafe let out a grunt and rolled her underneath him.

“What the fuck?!” Kage snapped. “Foul!”

“Shut up,” Rafe said his face serious as he looked down on her.

Kage was stunned enough that she frowned, closing her mouth on the rest of that rant. “Okay…” she said slowly. “But unless you start talking real fast, I’m going to throw your ass across the room like I did that bag.”

Rafe sighed. “Kage, I don’t know what it’s like on Spira, but you can’t fucking say shit like you just did here. About kissing women,” he added, quietly but intently, leaning in close and staring her down. “Don’t ever say that.”

Kage shoved Rafe off of her, suddenly furious again. “I don’t fucking understand what you two’s deal is! I made an assumption that turned out to be wrong and you two go fucking postal! All she had to say was that she wasn’t interested! If it’s because we’re on the same team then, again, that was all she had to fucking say.”

Rafe shoved a hand over her mouth and pressed her back down. “Shut the hell up! You can’t just be shouting that shit wherever you want!”

Kage shoved his hand away and leaned up into his face. “I _don’t understand!_ Why?!”

Rafe looked around hesitantly, making sure that no one else was around that might hear. Most of the personnel who were anywhere nearby had headphones in thankfully, and while their time on the ground was gaining a few looks, most people were used to his and Kage’s spars occasionally ending in wrestling and fucking around, so no one seemed suspicious. If his girl kept making a fuss though, that might change. “Because you can’t be gay in the military,” he said finally.

“I don’t know what that means!” she responded furiously.

“It means,” he growled, “that women can’t love women and men can’t love men!”

Kage’s mouth dropped, actually taken back enough to be speechless for a few blessed seconds as he cautiously let her sit up and moved back to kneel in front of her. Then, “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!” She punched him in the arm, glaring.

“Hey, look, I’m not saying it’s right,” he said, throwing his hands up defensively, his sharp motion contrasting against the hush of his voice. “I personally don’t give two shits who you want to fuck, but the military says it’s taboo, and frankly so does a lot of our world still. Maybe someday it’ll be different, but right now this is how it is. If anyone around here heard you saying that shit, she could lose her job and worse. You understand, now?”

No. She didn’t. There weren’t forbidden relationships on Spira. There were no words that labeled different types of relationships and no one cared. So, no, she didn’t understand why it was taboo. But… Shit. She could understand why Ramirez had flipped out if her entire job was at risk. Why Ramirez would continue to flip out if Kage ever tried again, even if she did apologize and fix things between them. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she stared down at the mat. “Was I at least right?”

“About what?” Rafe asked as he stood and offered her a hand up.

“You know… my _assumption_ ,” she whispered the word as she grabbed her towel.

Rafe raised an eyebrow at her. “Tch. I don’t know shit, ya feel me?”

Kage sighed out of frustration, but there was nothing else she could do. “Yeah… I feel you.” Not even the brief side hug Rafe gave her before he ducked off to the showers made her feel any less defeated.

Kage had set out that morning thinking there’d just been some misunderstanding that she could fix. She’d let herself think like Kashoku, focusing on how sure she’d been that Ramirez had responded to her in the same way, and had totally fucking ignored the possibility that the problem wasn’t something Kage could beat, that Ramirez wasn’t suddenly shoving her as far away as she could just because the woman was overreacting. She wasn’t being a giant bitch because she didn’t appreciate Kage’s advance – she was fucking terrified of it.

“ _FUCK_!” Kage screamed under the muffling beat of the shower head, the tile walls echoing her mockingly. She punched the tile just once, and leaned back against the side partition as she tried to will back her frustration. Suck it up and move on, she told herself firmly, rubbing her face and tugging hard on her hair. She hit the wall again, open palmed, and took only another minute before she took a breath, shut the water off, and made herself get out. She dressed, dried her hair, and headed for the chow hall.

She’d expected no one she knew to be there, the large clock on the wall attesting that she’d missed the rush, so spotting Kashoku at a table, sitting alone for once, was a surprise. Her friend didn’t look like she was really bothered by the empty spaces all around her, but Kage quickly grabbed her food and headed over anyway. “Hey,” she offered as she set her tray down across from her.

“Hey!” Kashoku responded cheerfully. Her face lit up as she smiled at Kage, and for her part, Kage felt able to relax for the first time all morning as she smiled back.

It felt like it had been ages since she’d seen her best friend, both of them busy with their job and Kage always off with her team, or Rodd, or- Kage blinked, only just realizing how the tables had turned recently to where _she_ was the one often too busy to hunt down the other. It was weird, and she vowed to do better by her best friend. Especially since it seemed her social time was about to be cut down with her Ramirez fuck-up.

“Where’s the rest of the gang?” she asked as she stabbed her chicken with her fork and began to cut. She wasn’t actually sure if Wells and Rodd had gotten over their Kashoku-guilt yet, but Rodd at least seemed like he was finally confident enough yesterday morning, so maybe he and Carr would be joining them.

Kashoku rolled her eyes, putting that idea to rest. “They went on a ‘men’s only’ lunch with your guys.”

Kage scoffed at the comment. “So then where’s Bentley?”

Kashoku laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that.”

“Be my guest,” she offered proudly. They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate before Kage couldn’t help but mention what was on her mind. “This planet’s ideals fucking suck.”

Kashoku looked up from her salad in confusion. “What ideals?”

“Love.” The shocked look from her friend was expected. Hell, this was a topic she hated touching with a ten-foot-poll and she certainly wasn’t going to dive any further into it, but Kashoku never asked. Instead she only looked down at her food sadly.

“Yeah… I know.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pull!” Kashoku shouted out as she pointed the shot-gun to the sky. As soon as she spotted the pigeon she lined up the barrel, tongue sticking out in concentration, and pulled the trigger. The clay object shattered as the round hit it square on, falling in pieces to the ground.  She pumped her fist in excitement. “Got all of them!”

“I’m impressed,” Ellis smirked as he took the shotgun from Kashoku making sure it was clear of all ammo while she began gathering her things. “Although, you try and shoot just any 12-guage and your ass would be flat on the ground. This baby wasn’t $2300 for nothing.”

“Do most shotguns have bad recoil, then?” She asked a she removed her gloves and shoved them in her bag.

“Even _I_ feel the kick-back from a normal 12-gauge,” he admitted as he carefully placed the gun back into its case and locked it up tight.

Kashoku placed her hands on her hips accusingly. “Are you suggesting that I would have sucked if I weren’t shooting your gun?”

“I’m saying that,” Ellis started, “If someone just hands you a shotgun, don’t expect it to shoot like this one. I’m not trying to degrade what you did here today, jeez,” he rolled his eyes. “Women, I swear! Amy does the same damn thing! I don’t know very many people that could pull out any weapon and be able to shoot like that their first go. I mean, I know guns are your specialty back on Spira, but each one fires differently. I meant it when I said I was impressed.”

Kashoku shrugged as she swung her back over her shoulder. “It does shoot very differently, but the ammunition you use for this weapon allows room for error that ours do not.”

“I’ve got my .45 and 9-mil locked up in the safe here at the range if you want to go inside and shoot those for a bit. Amy isn’t expecting us back home for another two hours,” he suggested as they began making their way past several other lanes where people were still shooting.

Kashoku grinned, a bounce in her step. “Yes! Maybe this time I’ll score better than you.”

“Keep dreaming!” Ellis responded, an amused twitch of his lips.

“You only beat me by two last time,” Kashoku huffed, still angry at herself for having missed several of the first shots of the competition. She had been nervous, but once she had taken a breath and calmed herself she had hit every mark.

“Two is two!” Ellis grinned playfully as he opened the door for her and they stepped inside.

Kashoku pursed her lower lip out in a pout. “Whatever! I’m going to win this time and then you’re going to finally teach me how to shoot your sniper rifle as my prize.”

“Fine, but if you lose you have to baby-sit next day off. And I’m not talking just the night-we’re talking full day here,” He countered.

Kashoku smiled as they found an empty lane inside and set down their things. That wasn’t much of a punishment, really. She loved Jessie and Cody and they were really easy to watch. Plus, she was glad she could give her team leader and his wife some time to themselves. “Deal.”

~*~

It had been _days_ since the movie-night incident and Ramirez continued to scowl at the thought of Kage. The longer it lingered the angrier Kage got, and it showed. Rodd’s blood had ended up splattered against the mat that morning, and even though Kashoku had patched him right up, she felt bad. It had also probably set their progress back a few steps considering he flinched at the sight of her at breakfast.

“Girl, you gotta do something to fix this,” Rafe spoke as he folded up a large pancake and shoved it in his mouth in one go.

Kage rolled her eyes, not really wanting to talk about the subject. “You don’t think I’ve tried?”

He swallowed only enough to speak. “Not hard enough. Shit, you’re going to kill Rodd next time instead of just fuckin’ him up.”

“I said I was sorry!” She growled in frustration. Yes, she had taken it too far, but the kid was fine!

“Uh-huh, and that just makes it all fine-and-dandy doesn’t it?” He took another bite of his pancakes, completely unimpressed by Kage’s words. “She’s gonna end up killing someone, too, at this point, and I don’t think I could handle both of you going down. Kiss and make-up, would you? And I don’t mean that literally!”

Kage rolled her eyes. “What do you want me to say? She won’t give me two seconds to try and talk with her.”

Rafe swallowed and sighed, knowing that she was right and Ramirez wasn’t making it easy to find resolution. “I don’t know, girl. I’ve known her for almost three years and still don’t understand the shit she does. What I _do_ know, is that you can’t let Colonel Connors see that you to are fighting when we go out today. He’ll fucking pry, and no matter how hard we try and hide what the hell went on, he’ll find out. He’s creepy as shit that way.”

“No one’s going to find out anything,” Kage promised, suddenly finding herself losing her appetite and pushing the tray away from her. She’d play as nicely with Ramirez as she could, but she couldn’t speak for the other woman. They finished up their meals and attended the mission brief. They were going on a recon of an area with suspected Jaffa activity. Apparently, the planet was vital for the Tok’Ra to control for whatever reason and they were being sent to try and secure it instead of the snake-heads doing it themselves.

Ramirez kept her distance, but responded to Kage when appropriate. Rafe could only give her a hopeless shrug before they pushed on past the Stargate into the forest area in the direction the intelligence had suggested the Jaffa might be. They went on for almost two miles with not even the slightest hint of any Jaffa activity. Kage was growing bored quickly and her teammates, other than Connors, were growing fairly complacent. She could tell by their body language that they were no longer scanning the area with the efficiency they should have been.

It was dumb fucking luck that Kage managed to pick up on the sounds just over Ramirez’s left shoulder. Reacting completely on auto-pilot, she was in her Thief sphere and pushing Ramirez aside. With a side-step she avoided the electrical shock of the zat’n’kitel and landed an upper cut with her blade on the Jaffa.

“Ambush!” Connors cried out, raising his weapon to begin firing while simultaneously moving in behind a tree for cover.

Kage helped Ramirez to her feet and stayed with her as they crawled behind their own set of trees. “Keep them occupied!” She shouted over the sounds of gun fire and blasts. “I’ll try and maneuver around and light their asses up.” Ramirez nodded fiercely, firing away to keep the Jaffa’s attention on her. Kage leaped up and took out the closest Jaffa that was blocking her path swiftly. One-by-one she was able to creep up and ram her blades into their sides past their armor, her team catching on quickly to the plan and shifting fire just in time to avoid hitting her.

It was a quick fight that ended with Kage’s heel in a Jaffa’s face, triumphantly standing on it once he fell. “Sneaky fuckers,” she spit on the leaves just to the side of the limp body.

“Everyone ok?” Connors asked as he finally lowered his weapon to begin assessing the damage.

“Good to go, sir,” Rafe waived, slowly standing from his hiding position.

Bentley popped up bright-eyed and ready to go. “Wooo! Let’s do it again!”

Ramirez rolled her eyes, disgusted that he wasn’t taking the situation seriously. “Let’s not do it again. I was two seconds from being killed.”

“Relax,” Bentley waived her off, “ _Kawaii-chan_ saved you.”

Kage’s eyes went wide and she reached out furiously at Bentley, grabbing hold of his ear and yanking hard, “Don’t you ever fucking call me that again!”

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” Bentley cried as his head was twisted under her hold. “Fuck, I’m sorry! Uncle, Uncle!”

Kage shoved him away hard enough to cause him to fall backwards onto a branch with hard edges. He didn’t cry out though the pain was written all over his face. She was about to make a retort to his comment, but the crease in Connor’s brow was all it took to have her retreating the thought.

“There’s bound to before Jaffa in the area,” Rafe said quickly trying to divert the topic before it caused Connors to blow his top.

“Some days I think about how I wouldn’t be sorry if one of you did end up getting shot,” Connors spoke plainly as he turned to continue on.

“Aw, come on boss-man, you don’t mean it!” Bentley countered as he made it to his feet and brushed off the dead leaves, a wince in his movements.

“When it comes to your big mouth? Losing your tongue would be a-ok by me.”

Bentley’s face fell into a huge pout. “That’s mean, sir. Even for you.”

Kage shook her head, annoyed and entertained all at once by her teammate. Just before she began to step off on his heels she looked back over her shoulder. Ramirez was staring at her. Part of her wanted to acknowledge it, but she turned back around and walked on.

The Jaffa encampment was small and looked like it had only been established recently. They managed to get the jump on the group and took most of them out with heavy suppressive fire and a surprise grenade that no one knew Bentley had stolen from the armory. Connors wasted no time in lighting his ass up for it once they were sure the area was secure.

Kage turned the water off in the shower and reached outside of the curtain for her towel. Drying herself off she wrapped it around her body and stepped out towards her locker where Ramirez was already putting on her clothes.

“Hey,” She spoke softly as she slipped on her pants, leaving them unbuttoned as she fumbled around for a shirt.

“Hey,” Kage mumbled, standoffish in her reply. The woman had been ignoring her all week or staring fights. It didn’t make the Spiran feel motivated to be kind to her.

“Thanks,” Ramirez spoke apprehensively, her long hair hiding most of her face and her expression.

Kage could feel her jaw clenching in irritation. “For what?” If this was her way of saying sorry, she wasn’t impressed.

“For saving my ass,” Ramirez answered as she tucked her hair behind her ear and gazed up at Kage behind dark lashes.

“It’s whatever,” Kage shrugged as she pulled out her clothes and tossed them onto the bench next to where Ramirez had just taken a seat.

“I shouldn’t have been such an asshole,” Ramirez sighed, finally looking straight at her, but Kage refused to return the glance.

“Tch,” she scoffed, “Yeah, you’re right. You knew I had no idea about your planet’s stupid rules and I apologized more than once which I _never_ do. Yet, you still decided to be a bitch.”

Ramirez tensed up at the tone of her voice, slightly rocking back in her seat defensively. “Yeah, and I’m trying to apologize for it.”

Kage wanted to accept the apology, but she was still hurt from prolonged rejection. She slipped her underwear on under her towel and turned her back as she dropped it to put on her bra, giving her time to try and figure out what she wanted to say. “So what? You want to just go on like it never happened?”

“No,” Ramirez responded instantly.

Kage turned around and found herself backed into the locker with the force of a kiss. She gasped into Ramirez’s mouth, but quickly relaxed into the soft warmth of her lips. The kiss was long, both their eyes closed until they parted gradually and Ramirez took a step back. Kage licked her lips, staring down at Ramirez with wide and lust-blown eyes, her heart thumping in her ears.

“I can’t pretend it didn’t happen,” Ramirez admitted, her voice sounding like it was about to crack. “But…I…” She took a deep breath like she was about to say something. Instead she threw her shirt over her head quickly and was gone.

Kage let her body fall back against the locker in disappointment. “Dammit…”

~*~

Both Kashoku and Wells agreed they should start distancing themselves from each other to avoid too much suspicion. The idea made sense, but even only a few days of it had been hard for her. They didn’t go to lunch together unless it included at minimum two other people. They stopped sitting next to each other at mission briefs, Kashoku clinging more to Rodd especially during the missions themselves. Even going out in public for dinner or drinks had ceased completely.

She was growing lonely, but when her days off came she was relieved to finally be able to spend time with Sam and Janet. Janet had decided it was her turn to host their get-togethers with Cassandra out at the movies. They had opened up a bottle of wine and were sitting around the coffee table in the living room playing poker.

“So, I noticed you have been gone a lot recently. What do they have you working on?” Janet asked Sam as she took a sip of her wine and drew a card to add to her hand.

“Well,” Sam looked like she was about to explode with the answer though was clearly holding back. “Technically they don’t want us to talk about it yet, but, I was actually kind of hoping Kashoku could offer up some ideas.”

“Me?” Kashoku questioned, eyes wide in confusion. “On what? I couldn’t imagine anything technology wise I could really assist with.”

“We’re working on a space ship,” Sam grinned, unable to keep the secret in any longer.

“What!?” Janet and Kashoku exclaimed at the same time.

“You’re kidding?” Janet forgot about the poker game completely, folding her hand. “How big is it? Is it just something small?”

“It’s _huge_ ,” Sam answered, putting down her cards as well. “We’ve named it _Prometheus_. Completely constructed with Naquadah. The Asgard have really helped make this possible, but out of all the navigation systems we’ve come across, Spira has really had the best and easiest interface. I want to try to incorporate it into the ship and potentially the new X-302 fighters.”

Kashoku was shocked to know that they had been working on a spaceship this entire time, but even more so that they wanted to implement Spiran technology. “I really can’t help. Kage lives for that kind of stuff, though. She designed and configured _Lunestis_ ’s systems all on her own. She’d help if you ask.”

Sam didn’t seem all that convinced by her words. “You really think she’d want to help?”

Kashoku knew Sam’s uncertainty was well founded, but she was confident that Kage would, even if she didn’t admit it right at first. “Yes. You would have thought she was an Al Bhed with the way she liked to mess with machina back home. She might tell you ‘no’ at first, but she’ll do it. The only thing I might see as a problem is supplies. You’ll need mako, and I’m not sure Spira would really be willing to part with any for you.”

Sam tried hard not to seem disappointed, putting on a smile. “Well, I guess we can cross that bridge if and when we get to it. I’ll have to talk to General Hammond about letting her come to Arizona, but there will be so much security there I don’t think it would be an issue.”

“Mm, well if you mention that it involves leaving the SGC, I’m only positive that would entice her even more,” Kashoku assured her. Kage would intentionally put up a resistance just to save her reputation, but the promise if getting out of the SGC and to a completely new area would be too much for her to turn down.

“How is she doing, anyway? Finally getting to go off base on occasion?” Janet asked as she brought the cards back into a stack and began shuffling them for a new game.

Kashoku gave a happy shrug and picked up her wine glass, “Good, I guess. General Hammond hasn’t sent her home yet. I know she’ll be happy when she can go out with fewer restrictions, though. I sometimes wish we could just go out together. Just a little longer, hopefully.”

“I’d invite her over, but somehow I don’t think this is for her,” Janet admitted.

Kashoku laughed in agreement, “She’d definitely prefer beer over wine, but she’d kill all of us at poker. She’s always been really good at gambling and I’d be surprised if the boys haven’t already shown her how to play. But,” she shrugged thoughtfully, thinking about how much Kage had changed since her time here on Earth, “I could be wrong. She’s mellowed a lot lately. She wouldn’t admit it, but she might actually like not being around hordes of men all the time.”

“She can come off as long as all of us are here, right? Invite her out next time,” Janet suggested.

It would be a good idea to make Kage come out with them. Maybe it would be just the thing she needed. “Will do!”

~*~

Ellis was glad for the distraction when Connors knocked on his office door and entered. He had been working on evaluation reports for his team the entire week, and he was honestly tired of looking at the computer screen trying to come up with elaborate ways to embellish his team’s talents to appease the higher ups. “Sir, how’s it goin?”

Connors offered a rare smile as he relaxed into a seat across from Ellis. “I heard from a little birdie that you won’t have to call me that much longer.”

It was the best news he had heard all week. “Well it’s about fucking time! I didn’t know the board came out. When?”

Connors shrugged and offered a shake of his head. “Can’t tell you exactly, but I do know you were on the promotion board. Shouldn’t be too long. A month or so. You won’t have to call me ‘sir’, but I still gotcha on date-of-rank.”

Ellis gave him an amused huff. “Yeah and I’m sure you’ll never let me forget it. How much longer do you have before you get full-bird?”

Connors shrugged and rested his arms on the table. “Probably not for another year or two. I’ve noticed they’ve really slowed down promotions these days. I’m not in a hurry. I’m not going anywhere, but what about you? You hit 20 next year, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Ellis acknowledged with a deep sigh. “I don’t know. Amy and I have talked about it once or twice. She’d love it if I retired, but we’ve got two kids and retirement pay and her baking isn’t going to pay for college.”

“No,” he agreed, “But you’re still young. You could get easily get a civilian job with your experience that has a far less fatality rate than this.”

“True,” he gave a tilt of his head at the comment, “but this job hasn’t quite lost its charm yet. You’ve been at it longer than I have. You ain’t bored yet?”

Connors rubbed his chin, feeling the stubble that had started to grow despite having shaved that morning. “I should be. It’s the same-old shit every day, but the same-old shit is always different.”

Ellis gave a snort, rubbing at his eyes as he closed his laptop, no longer feeling the desire to work on the reports any longer. “I know what you mean. Having Kashoku on the team has kind of made it fun.”

“Fun isn’t quite the word I’d use,” Connors mused.

“Hey, man, you were the one who begged Hammond to have her on your team. That’s fucking on you,” Ellis grinned having absolutely no sympathy for him when it came to the matter of Kage.

“So I did,” he smiled thoughtfully.

“She causing trouble?” He asked as he slid the laptop off to the side out of the way.

“No more so than the other idiots I have under me,” he answered truthfully. “She definitely contributes to my headaches, but it’s a fairly even distribution between the four. Kashoku doesn’t cause issues?”

“Nah,” Ellis shook his head. “No issues. In fact, I’ve been using her as a baby-sitter. For the first time in years I’ve actually been able to go have some time with my wife.”

“That’s because you never trusted anyone else to watch them,” Connors argued, no sympathy for his friend.

“For fucking good reason,” Ellis spoke back defensively.

“I’m honestly surprised you would trust an alien with them over a local neighborhood teenager. There are still people here on base who aren’t 100 percent on their intentions.”

Ellis’s brow furrowed in a disapproving frown at that, immediately growing defensive. “Then they are fucking idiots. She’s saved my life and that of my team’s on multiple occasions now. She has nothing to prove to me.” He mimicked Connors’s posture, crossing his arms and leaning forward on them. “Do you trust Kage?”

Connors sat up slightly, tilting his chin up in brief thought before responding, “No. But, I could. I don’t think with my heart, like you, so it will take much longer for her to earn my trust.”

Ellis’s eyes narrowed, not sure if he should be offended by the observation thrown at him. “What’s your point?”

“You care for her,” Connors pointed out simply.

“Of course I do,” Ellis spoke as if it were a quite apparent statement.  “I’m supposed to care for my soldiers.”

“You’re supposed to ensure their safety, not love them.”

Ellis wanted to argue with him that he didn’t love her, that he just cared for her the same way he did the other three members of the team. But it would have been a lie Connors would see straight through. He sat back and let his shoulders slump. Ellis didn’t even know what to say.

Connors leaned onto his left elbow and smirked. “It ain’t your fault. The Marines carve out your heart at boot camp. The Air Force lets you keep yours.”

“Yeah, well,” Ellis sighed, looking away from him, “You try having her on your team and see if you didn’t feel the same way. I bet even she could soften you up.”

He scoffed, unbelieving in the comment. “My ex-wife thought the same thing. But I didn’t mean to bring down the mood. You should start thinking about buying new rank for your uniforms.”

Ellis rolled his eyes at the man’s blunt change of subject. “Yeah, thanks, _sir_. I gotta get going anyway. I promised my team I’d have a heart and eat with them today.”

“Softy,” Connors grunted with pleasure and shook Ellis’s hand across the table before making his way out.

Ellis rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, wondering if maybe Connors was right to say that caring for his team like family would bite him in the ass later on down the line. It likely was a moot point, because he knew there was little turning back from it now. Grabbing his keys for the office he locked the door and headed to the chow hall.

He couldn’t help but stared at all four members of his team as they ate, the crease between his brow growing deeper as he watched. The chow hall was buzzing with chatter, but his usually boisterous team was silent. For Rodd, it was normal. Carr wasn’t talking because Wells wasn’t. And then there was the issue of Wells and Kashoku. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team leader how distant the two had been and it had completely thrown off the group dynamic. It had been almost a week now, and he had decided not to say anything in hopes the two could be adults and figure it out. Clearly that hadn’t happened as the two were sitting on complete opposite sides of the table. Wiping his mouth with his napkin he groaned to himself. Being a father was a full time job.

“Alright,” he sighed as he balled the napkin in his fist and looked straight on at Wells who sat across from him. “What the hell did you do?”

Wells slowed his chewing and frowned at his leader. After swallowing he cleared his throat and questioned, “Uh, sir?”

Ellis pointed between Wells and Kashoku. “The two of you have been acting weird as fuck lately. You don’t sit next to each other. You don’t go together on missions. The two of you are usually tied to the fucking hip. So, what the hell did you do?”

“Why do you assume it was something _I_ did?!” Wells asked defensively, Carr snickering next to him.

Kashoku’s face turned red, her body shrinking into the chair. “Sir, it’s not like that. Nothing happened!”

“Bullshit,” Ellis responded firmly before looking back at Wells. “What. Did you do?”

“Nothing!” Wells answered again, the tip of his ears starting to burn to match the color of his counterpart.

“You’re both full of shit. Carr, Rodd?” He questioned.

Rodd gave a shrug in agreement. Carr gave a firm nod. “Full of shit, sir. Both of them. They don’t even want to go to McCabe’s with me unless SG-11 is also there.”

That sealed the deal that something had happened. He lifted an eyebrow at Wells accusingly, but it was Kashoku that ended up speaking up hesitantly.

“He…might have said something I didn’t like, sir,” she spoke meekly, her body still sunk back into the chair.

Wells looked like he was about to protest strongly, but he stopped. Ellis’s lip twitched triumphantly. “I knew you fucked up. What did you say?”

“He was asking about Spira,” Kashoku began slowly, as if she was trying to formulate the story as she spoke. “We got into the fact that women on Spira are the ones credited with defeating Sin and being on equal footing – if not more revered – then men. He laughed.” She crossed her arms and turned her head away from him.

“I didn’t laugh!” He disputed, leaning over the table to look at her. “I said it was _interesting_!”

“And then you laughed!” She growled, turning to glower back at him.

Rodd and Carr both had pushed their chairs out to back away from the table expecting the two bickering team mates to launch over them in the dispute.

“I-Ok it wasn’t a laugh _per say_ ,” Wells corrected. “More of an amused scoff. I mean, come on. The leaders of your world aren’t women. That should make my point for me.”

“It’s because we aren’t dumb enough to want the responsibility!” Kashoku hissed, fists clenched in anger.

Wells leaned in even further, almost crossing over Carr’s lap. “It’s because they aren’t capable!”

“UGH!” Kashoku almost slammed down her tray in agitation after picking it up. “I’m leaving!”

“Fine!” Wells growled in response.

Ellis had stayed silent, watching intently with crossed arms. Once Kashoku had made it out of ear-shot he asked, “What the fuck, Wells? That’s the most fucked up shit I’ve ever heard come out of your fucking mouth. I never knew you were a woman hater.”

“I’m not -!” Wells was cut off abruptly.

“Get your ass up and apologize to her right now,” Ellis demanded.

Carr and Rodd were both staring on with wide eyes, refusing the help Wells was looking for as he glanced over. “Why?”

“It wasn’t a fucking request, Captain,” Ellis growled, the tone of his voice causing Wells to instantly spring to his feet with his tray and leave.

“Fuck, I can’t believe that just happened,” Carr muttered with a hand raking through his hair.

“Idiots. All of you,” Ellis sighed, thinking back to his conversation with Connors earlier.

~*~

As soon as they were out of earshot from their teammates, Wells slumped against a wall in relief. “Shit. I thought we were fucked.”

Kashoku had her face in her hands, her heart still beating wildly in her chest. “You said we should start distancing ourselves, but they all noticed and thought that it’s _weird_!”

“I didn’t think they would all freak out because we weren’t attached to the hip, fuck, Kash!” He ran a hand through his hair desperately. “Did the topic _really_ have to be that!?”

“I panicked!” Kashoku retorted. “Sam and I were talking about it over the weekend and it was the only thing I could come up with on the fly!”

“Yeah, well, thanks, now I look like a complete fucking asshole,” He growled, a hand placed above her head against the wall.

She crossed her arms, unimpressed by his agitation. “So you _don’t_ believe the things you said? Because you sounded fairly convincing to me back there.”

Wells’s jaw clenched, his muscles twitching in irritation at the accusation. “That was the point, Kash. And of course I don’t believe in all of that crap. Ramirez could wipe the floor with my face given the chance.”

Kashoku shifted her weight, waiting for a few soldiers to pass by before they continued on. “So you don’t think us weak, but still incapable.”

He straightened, his hand still on the wall as his shoulders tensed up. “Well, _honestly_ , I don’t really think that women, _on Earth_ , should be in high-levels of authority.”

“Why not?! Do you think them incompetent?” She questioned, hands moving to her hips and her chest leaning forward into his space.

Wells did not back off, instead leaning in further to meet her advance. “The way things work here on Earth, _yes¸_ I do. Women have too much of a tendency to get all emotional and can’t lay down the hammer when needed.” He barely finished the sentence before he found himself being shoved roughly into the wall. The impact was unexpected. He appeared stunned and dazed for several seconds before he was able to shake it off.

“You want me to lay down the hammer?” Kashoku scowled, her petite size suddenly seeming large.

“Normally I’d step in to stop this,” Ellis hummed, having just rounded the corner with the rest of the team in tow, “but I’m getting far too much entertainment value out of it to bother.”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Carr cheered them on, fists clenched and pumping motivationally.

“Don’t you think you should settle this somewhere else instead of the middle of the hallway?” Rodd asked, noticing the people that were suddenly start to crowd around them expectantly. “At least go to the gym?”

Kashoku crossed her arms again and smirked. Behind the dazed looked she could see the sudden burst of lust in his eyes at being thrown around. If that’s what turned him on, she’d be happy to oblige while making a point. “You’re on. Without my spheres I’ll beat you on the mat.”

Wells’s face was full of shock at first, but then his back straightened and there was a smug smirk followed by a small scoff. “You’re serious? You’re less than half my size.”

Any lustful thoughts she had originally had at the idea of pushing Wells around quickly dissipated and was replaced with anger. Now they were no longer putting on a show. His words were real, and he honestly thought the idea of her beating him without magic a joke. Biting the inside of her lip she clenched her fists and thrust them out by her side, “Yes! Let’s do this.”

“Oh-ho!” Ellis laughed, completely entertained by the entire escapade. “Ladies and gentlemen, the window is open for betting.”

With purpose they moved to the gym, a few people following them to see what ended up happening. Good. The more people that came, the more saw that she could defend herself despite her size. The gym already had a few groups working out who all stopped what they were doing to see what the commotion was all about. Sam and Jonas were among the crowd.

“Do I even want to know?” Sam asked with an amused curl of her lip as she set down the weights she had been lifting.

“You’re planet is chauvinistic,” Kashoku hissed as she shrugged out of her blouse, throwing it hazardously to the side and finding a place on the mat.

Sam placed a hand to her mouth, trying to hide the smile that was creeping up. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Jonas stared in confusion before leaning in towards Sam. “I’m not really sure what’s going on.”

“They’re about to fight,” Sam spoke casually as she grabbed her towel and took a seat on the work bench.

“And you aren’t going to stop them?” His voice was full of worry, and his body tensed like he was ready to shoot up and intervene.

Sam laughed and shook her head. “No. I definitely want to see this.”

“Shit, shit! We haven’t missed it yet, have we?!” Bentley’s voice cried as he came sprinting into the gym, barely stopping in time from running right into one of the weight machines.

Kage was right behind him strolling in a lot more casually. “Well, what do you know? It wasn’t Bentley just spouting shit. She’s going to kick your ass, you know,” she said, eyes right on Wells.

“Uh-huh,” he spoke offhandedly as he, too, shrugged out of his blouse. With a few rolls of his shoulders he worked on loosening up.

“Alright, listen up,” Ellis spoke as he stepped forward in between them. “Five-second pin-down for winner. Below the belt is definitely not off-limits. This is combatives, not a boxing match, got it?”

Wells shrugged his shoulders again and took a step forward. Kashoku used his momentum to grab his arm and pull him down to the mat instantly. Without missing a beat she was already on him, one knee on his stomach and the other between his legs. Shock was on his face and she grinned. “I’ll remind you that Kage trained me.”

“And I trained her well,” Kage called from her place on the sideline, approval running through voice.

“And?” Wells questioned with a raised eyebrow, completely unimpressed. Latching onto her forearms he flipped them over and effortlessly pinned her down. He hardly seemed like he was trying to keep her still, but she found she could barely budge beneath him. “Is that all Kage had to teach you?”

Kashoku clenched her jaw and grabbed onto his wrists. She was small enough that she was able to maneuver her legs up underneath his chest and used her lower body strength to propel him off of her. He wasn’t fazed long by the move quickly able to grab her leg as she tried to stand. With a tug he pulled her back down to the mat. She hardly noticed the encouraging cheers of the other people in the room, her adrenaline too loud in her own ears. Wells had her pinned down easily again, but he hadn’t learned from the first attempt that he needed to use his whole body to weigh her down. Her size was a disadvantage in strength, but an advantage in mobility. Once again she wiggled her legs in between their chests and shoved. Wells managed to keep a better hold of his balance, preventing the force from knocking him all the way down.

Kashoku knew that she wouldn’t have enough time to get up, but her legs were her strength. She wrapped them around his neck, her powerful thighs clenching down as she swung his mass to the side and had him on his back once more. The force knocked her hold and she hunched forward to catch herself, finding her face inches from Wells’s. They froze, breaths coming in short hitches while they stared at each other. Wells licked his lips and they both leaned in just slightly before remembering where they were.

Hearing Ellis almost make it to five had Wells springing back to action. He tossed her lithe form off of him and pounced. She held him off with a foot to his chest, but he easily dislodged it and went to lay himself on top of her. Just before he made contact her free leg came flying up and her knee connected hard with his groin. Wells cried out in pain as he hunched over, grabbing at himself between his legs. Kashoku used the time while he was stunned to pin him down, Ellis counting to five without any resistance from Wells.

Kashoku smirked as she released her hold and hovered over him. “Kage didn’t have to teach me that.”

There were some cheers and some jeers as she walked off the mat, Wells slowly managing to sit up. She watched with amusement as money was exchanged between Carr and Bentley. Part of her was hurt that Carr had bet against her, but it didn’t matter. She proved herself. Hopefully, though, she hadn’t hurt Wells _too_ bad down there.

Sam grinned at her. “You can always count on the same weakness with every one of them.”

“That was a cheap shot!” Carr argued, still bitter over the loss of his money.

“Bullshit,” Ellis retorted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “He should protect his man parts better than that. That’s valuable merchandise he allowed to be tarnished. Fair is fair.”

Kashoku flipped her ponytail over her shoulder and looked back over at Wells. He was hunched forward with his arms draped over his knees. There wasn’t any sign of anger or disappointment in his features. Instead, there was a silent promise in his eyes.

That night they fought again, but Kashoku was more than happy to let him pin her down this time.

~*~

Kage had retreated to her room after the locker room occurrence, only having left when Bentley had informed her of the fight. The man followed her like a puppy back to her quarters after. “Don’t you have something better to do?”

“Funny you asked that,” he grinned. “I was thinking how my favorite TV show is marathoning today and how it was weird I hadn’t introduced you to said TV show.”

Kage almost told him to fuck off and leave, but she realized he was a welcome distraction from Ramirez. “Alright, whatever,” she grabbed the remote and tossed it to him. “I’ve got some beers left. Want one?”

“Duh!” He said with a wiggle of his head as he kicked off his shoes and jumped onto her bed with a click of the remote.

“Try not to break my shit, dumbass,” she growled, retrieving two beers from the mini-fridge and opened them. “What are we watching?”

“It’s called Viva La Bam. It’s got a lot of the Jackass crew in it,” he said as he took the proffered beverage.

“I don’t know what that is, either,” she answered as she took a seat next to him and positioned her pillows just right.

“I have failed you as a mentor,” Bentley huffed, disappointed in himself. “I’ll be sure to bring my DVDs tomorrow. Basically, it’s just a group of stupid guys doing stupid shit and it’s really funny.”

“So you mean, it’s you times a few?”

“Dude, I’d kill to be part of Jackass or the Bam crew.” He took a long swig of his beer and the two fell into a comfortable silence as the show started.

Kage had to admit it was highly entertaining. The shit they did was _stupid_ , but funny. It must have been awesome to have parents as cool as Bam’s, accepting of all the dumb shit he did. There was a singer that appeared in several of the episodes that had been aired, but another band joined him on the current episode. When a member of the band had the camera zoomed in on him Kage could feel herself freeze up. She knew him.

“Who is that?” She asked, her body going rigid, leaning forward slightly.

“Who is who?” He asked casually, not removing his eyes from the screen.

“The guy in all black, with the long hair,” she responded quickly, hoping he’d see before the camera turned away.

Bentley turned to glare at her, “Yeah. That really narrows it down.”

Kage growled, hitting his shoulder. “The one with the glasses on!”

Bentley frowned and playfully slapped her hands away. “Oh, that’s Jyrki. He’s the singer of The 69 Eyes. I usually prefer it a little more scream-o and head banging, but I can dig a lot of their songs.”

The name didn’t sound familiar at all, but she was _so_ sure she knew that man. It was hard to tell completely since his face was mostly covered with shades and by his hair, but there was no mistaking the deep voice he spoke with. Swallowing hard she continued watching, hoping that maybe she’d realize he just looked like someone she knew.

But two episodes later she still had his face in the front of her mind with no answer to how she knew him.

~*~

“So the other night Bentley introduced me to this TV show,” Kage started hesitantly as she flipped through a magazine on top of Kashoku’s bed. “There were these two bands featured in a lot of the episodes. They were what they call ‘goth’ or whatever.”

“Mmm, that’s the ones that wear all black all the time, right?” Kashoku asked as she flipped the page of her own magazine in the slot next to her friend, both finally relaxing after the day.

“Yeah,” she nodded as she laid the magazine down onto her lap. “One of them has so-so music. A little too soft and poetic for my tastes. I’d think you’d really like them.”

Kashoku lowered her magazine and gave her friend an amused look. “Kage, I doubt there is anything musical you and I could ever agree on.”

“I’d put money on the fact that’s not true,” she argued, “but that’s not my point. Every time I saw the other singer, I couldn’t help but think that he was so familiar.” She had battled with the thought of bringing it up with Kashoku, but she hadn’t been able to get the man out of her head for two nights.

“Well, it’s not possible you’ve seen him before,” she shrugged as she went back to reading. “Maybe he just looks like someone back on Spira.”

“Yeah, I thought that maybe, too. So I went online and looked up videos of them, hoping maybe it would jog my memory as to who he reminded me of, but then I ran across some interviews he had done where he spoke a different language.” Kage looked hesitantly over at Kashoku. Would she think she was as crazy as she felt she was right now?

Kashoku looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “Ok? That’s not that unusual. Daniel said there are over 200 languages on this planet.”

Kage sighed. She didn’t know the best way to present the issue. Biting at her lip she thought for a minute before she put down her magazine and hopped off the bed, reaching for Kashoku’s laptop. Grabbing it she settled back on to the bed next to her friend and pulled up one of the videos she had watched the previous night. A man with shoulder-length raven hair and pale skin began talking in a foreign language. “Do you understand what he’s saying?”

“Of course not,” Kashoku answered, her tone bored and ready to go back to her magazine.

“Yeah, well, I do,” Kage responded, irritated that Kashoku wasn’t more interested in the conversation.

Kashoku rolled her eyes, “How could you possibly understand a language you’ve never heard before?”

Kage shoved the laptop into her friend’s lap. “Look. The video has the Old Spiran translation, right? Right now he’s talking about an upcoming tour in a place called Mexico, I think, and that they’ve been working on some new songs while they have been travelling.”

Kashoku read the translation that appeared on the screen as Kage continued to spout out what the man was saying. Kage knew the moment that her friend realized that she wasn’t delusional. “But…wait. This doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never heard this language spoken on Spira before.”

Kage shut the laptop and set it aside, her face growing extremely serious. “Kash, this isn’t the first strange thing that’s happened to me since I’ve gotten here. Do you remember those shadow fiends? You and I both know I didn’t use magic.”

“Hmm,” Kashoku hummed in agreement, her eyes growing wide with concern. “So you said you thought you knew him…what about the other singer?”

Kage shook her head, sinking back into the pillow. “No, I didn’t get the same feeling. He’s from the same place, but I don’t think I recognized him at all.” She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She had never been able to let the incident with the fiends go. Kashoku had never brought it up again, and she had tried to ignore it though she never could quite push it out. And now with this happening. “Something’s up.”

“But…what?” Kashoku asked, closing her magazine entirely. “I mean…maybe you _were_ using magic with the fiends. I guess it is possible something went wrong with a spell you were casting and it didn’t go quite right?”

Kage knew there was little chance that the suggestion was true. “Maybe. I know I wasn’t trying to cast a spell, but maybe a spell decided to cast itself. Fuck, I don’t know, Kash, but that still doesn’t explain how I magically know an entire language. It’s not even _similar_ to anything on Spira.”

Unfortunately, as Kage suspected and feared, Kashoku didn’t have any better answers than she did. Kashoku gave another small shrug and shook her head. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Kage. If Daniel were alive, maybe he might be able to tell us something, but I don’t know anyone else here who would know anything about it.” Kashoku gave her a sympathetic look, and in a last attempt to provide some help she motioned back for the laptop. “Let me look at a different video. It was hard to see his face in that one. Maybe I recognize him if I look harder.”

With a sigh Kage pulled up a different video. She knew the answer wouldn’t be any different. Or so she thought. About half way through the video Kashoku’s face went white and her eyes grew wide. Kage could feel herself growing hopeful. “You recognize him, don’t you?”

Slowly, Kashoku shook her head and raised her eyes. “No. I don’t. But I know _him_.” She turned the laptop and pointed to another man on the screen.

Like the man Kage had recognized, he wore all black and had dark hair, but he was smaller and smiled with sun-kissed skin. It looked to her that he was wearing some sort of bird feathers in his hair. “I don’t recognize him at all. This makes no fucking sense. Do you think we caught something on a mission that’s fucking with us?”

Kashoku couldn’t stop staring at the laptop. “We haven’t been on any of the same missions lately…I _know_ him. Who is he?”

Kage shrugged, “Your answer is about as good as the one I have for the other guy. I know his band name, and his name is Jyrki, but that isn’t jogging any memories.”

Kashoku tucked a knee into her chest, resting her chin on it thoughtfully. “We have to figure this out…but I don’t know how other than finding them and talking to them. Even then…we might just be going completely insane.”

“Yeah, well, I still don’t have full clearance yet, so I highly doubt Hammond is going to let me go half-way around a planet way bigger than Spira,” Kage pointed out. “And I don’t really think I can just walk up to Rafe and be like ‘Hey, I totally recognize this guy from a planet I’ve never been to before. What do you think?’ Don’t think that would go over so well.”

“No, you’re right,” Kashoku agreed solemnly, closing the laptop again. “Maybe, if we just leave it alone right now it’ll come to us. I don’t think dwelling on it every second is going to do any good.”

Kage let out a huff of disagreement. Forgetting about it wasn’t going to solve the issue, either, but there was nothing else they could do at this point. “Whatever…I still think you’d like the one band, though. Bet you a case of beer.”

Kashoku smiled. “Send me some stuff and I’ll listen to it. If by some crazy chance I like it I’ll buy you _two_ cases of beer.”

~*~

Kashoku and Kage hadn’t talked about the videos for days, but despite her own suggestion she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She knew that if Daniel had been here he would have been open to talking about this, but she wasn’t really sure how Wells would respond if she broached the subject. He was laid down on the right side of the bed, back propped up with several pillows as he watched the football game on TV. The game had just started back up again in what they called the “pre-season.” Everyone on her team took the game extremely seriously and Wells hadn’t been focused much on her since the game started. She didn’t mind though, as Justice decided to wedge his way in between them on the bed and had been enjoying Kashoku’s constant petting.

“Can I ask you a question?” She prompted as Justice turned on his side and subtly widened the distance between her and Wells.

“During a commercial break, sure,” he said, his eyes still glued on the TV for several seconds before he turned his head towards her. “I’m kidding….kind of. What’s up?”

Kashoku didn’t want to bring up the exact scenario, but maybe something he could identify with instead. “Have you ever been walking down the street and seen someone that you swore you knew in the past, but also know there’s absolutely no way you could possibly know this person?”

“Uh, not really,” he shrugged. “I mean, I’ve sometimes thought ‘Hey, that looks like what’s-his-face’, but five seconds later I completely forget about it.”

“Hmm,” Kashoku bit at her lip. It was a logical answer that probably anyone would have told her. “What about languages? Have you ever heard a foreign language and felt like you completely understood it?”

“I had a dream in German, once,” he mentioned as he finally caught on to what Justice was doing and gave the dog a shove out of his space, “I was pretty sure I understood it, but for all I know my internal translation was completely bullshit and the words just sounded like German. It involved a lot of Nazi zombies, so hell if I know if anything made sense. Cusswords are usually universally understood in any language. Why? What brought this up?”

“Weird dreams,” she answered casually. It wasn’t a lie. She had dreamt about the man and his piercing green eyes rimmed in black kohl. He had been sitting on a rock at the edge of a lake. There had been a crow on his shoulder and a colorful swan at his feet in the water. He had spoken words in his language, but unlike Kage she did not understand it even in her dreams.

It was significant, somehow.

“Well,” he adjusted himself again as Justice pushed against him with his paws, “I’m going to kick you off the bed if you don’t stop,” he hissed at the dog before turning back to the conversation. “Some people believe that everyone understands all languages in cultures, but our brains have isolated it all and it can only be accessed during dreams.”

Kashoku titled her head, thinking about the concept. “Not something I’d think you’d believe in…”

“I don’t,” he agreed, “but my sister was a raging hippie during her college years and she’s all about the cosmic way of the word blah blah. I wouldn’t think too much into it, honestly.”

“I guess,” she responded, noticing that he was losing interest in the conversation as he began paying more attention to the game again. “Neither of these are your team. Why do you care so much, then?”

“One, because it’s football, and I watch football of all kinds. Two, Fantasy Football,” he responded simply.

“I heard Bentley talking about that the other day,” she mentioned as she tried to follow what was happening in the game. “He tried to explain it to me. You are seeing what players look like they will perform well to pick for your team? Something like your Fantasy Football would probably be very popular on Spira with blitzball.”

“You should totally develop it and you can take all the credit,” He grinned.

She smiled back at him and watched as the team’s kicker hit the ball in between the goal posts. “Teach me, then.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

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“Ow!” Kage hissed as a jolt of electricity shot through her body from the tip of her finger. She shoved the attacked digit into her mouth, willing it to stop stinging.

“You ok?” Rodd asked as he leaned down to check on her. “That’s the third time in the last five minutes.”

“I’m fine!” Kage growled, pushing herself out from underneath the dash. It had been a lot harder to integrate Earth and Spiran technology than she had originally thought. It hadn’t helped that she really didn’t have nearly enough mako to make it happen, but she had broken apart her comm spheres to get as much of the substance that she could. The _Prometheus_ would get descent navigation and tracking system out of it, at least. Rolling over she pushed herself to her feet and brushed off her pants. “Ok, I think that should work.”

Sam made a few adjustments on the dashboard and a screen lit up in front of her much like the ones seen in Spira’s airships. She smiled, pleased that it had worked, but there was a slight hint of confusion in her face that caused Kage to frown.

“What? It’s working, isn’t it?” She asked as she moved to position herself next to Sam.

“It’s in Spiran,” Sam replied, a grin tugging at her lips.

Actually, it was Al Bhed. But technicalities. Kage rolled her eyes. “Sorry. I don’t really know how to fix that. I’ve never had to configure the system in Earth symbols before.”

“I can probably write a program that will override the language input into the system,” Rodd spoke up confidently as he instantly pulled out his laptop and began furiously typing away.

“Well, why he’s working on that, I guess we can go check out the shield system,” Sam suggested.

Kage grabbed the remaining spheres she had left to work with and nodded. “Should be easy to integrate into the crystal system. Won’t be as awesome as I’d like to have on my ship, but you’ll have to take what I can give you from my junk yard of spheres.”

“Those aren’t dress spheres you are using, are they?” Sam asked as she led Kage down the dark and grey halls of the ship.

“As if I’d waste a perfectly good dress sphere on your ship,” Kage scoffed, offended that Sam would even suggest such a thing.  “They are comm spheres. They act like your phones. Since I’m not on Spira anymore they aren’t exactly what I’d call useful. They also don’t have the mako a dress sphere would, but it’s better than nothing.”

Sam nodded as they passed through a set of sliding doors with a whoosh of air. “Yeah, no, of course it is. I’m really thankful that you decided to help us with this.”

Kage rolled her eyes, kneeling down before the colorful crystals that powered the entirety of the space ship. “Yeah, well, thank Kashoku for that one.”

Sam leaned over her casually to take in what the Spiran was doing. “You think maybe one day you’d be willing to help us out without Kashoku having to bribe you?”

Truth was, Kashoku hadn’t really needed to bribe her with much of anything. Kage loved messing around with technology and anything that allowed her out of the confines of the SGC – as bleak as the walls of the _Prometheus_ still were – was enough to make Kage agree. But, she certainly couldn’t allow anyone else to see that. It would ruin the perfectly good image she had made for herself. “Doubtful,” she answered simply while she continued working.

Sam gave an expectant shrug, “At least I asked. Well, I’ve got some stuff to work on back on the bridge, but let me know if you need anything. I’ll be headed back with you and Rodd to the SGC tomorrow.”

Kage lifted a questioning eyebrow. “I thought you said you were staying an extra week?”

“Me too,” she sighed, her smile turning into a worried frown. “The other day when I was leaving our office back in the city I was approached by a reporter. She somehow knew all about the project.”

That was enough to make Kage lower the crystals she had removed and turn her head to make eye contact. “I thought no one on your planet knew about the Stargate?”

“They aren’t supposed to,” Sam agreed. “Without knowing for sure if I’m talking on a secure line, I thought it best to discuss the issue with General Hammond directly and figure out what we’re going to do.”

Kage gave a snort, “I can save you the trip and make sure she never says a word about it. You know, if you want.”

Sam had to look away for a moment to hide her amusement and the fact she was considering Kage’s proposal. “Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way here on Earth.”

“Shame,” Kage hummed as she turned back to futzing with the crystals. “You’d get a lot more accomplished if it did.

“Don’t disagree with you one bit,” she smiled. “Try not to break anything.”

“No promises,” Kage shouted at Sam, the woman leaving her alone in the engine room. Only a few seconds passed before a shock ran through Kage’s body again and she was cursing.

~*~

“Guess who has four tickets to this weekend’s game?!” Wells beamed brightly, hands in his pockets as he entered the office.

“You do not!” Carr’s blue eyes widened in delight, spinning in his office chair. “How did you score the extra two tickets?”

“You tend to make friends with the people that sit around you when you have season tickets. Just so happens the lovely couple that sits next to me can’t make this game and were nice enough to offer them up,” Wells explained as he let himself fall down into his own chair.

“What game?” Kashoku asked, intrigued at what had caused so much delight in her teammates.

“Broncos and Colts!” Carr spoke as if it were completely obvious.

“Oh, football!” Kashoku smiled, recognizing the mascots Carr had mentioned. The Broncos were who Wells was constantly yelling at the television for when she made the mistake of coming over on Sundays. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his enthusiasm for his team, but that he hardly paid attention to anything else.

“If you are all super nice to me all week you can all come,” he said with a coy grin.

That was enough to have Rodd lifting his head out of his work. “Oh, I’ve never been to a pro game before. That would be really fun.”

“Yeah, well, don’t either of you wear your bullshit team jerseys to my stadium,” Wells warned. “I wouldn’t want Kashoku thinking there was any other team to cheer for other than the Broncos.”

“Ah,” Kashoku gave a small laugh and twirled a piece of blonde hair around her finger, “You’ve made that pretty abundantly clear already. I assure you.” Wells had said it was the best orgasm he had ever had, but she was almost certain it had been due to the well timed last minute winning touchdown instead of…her.

“You took her to a bar during a Broncos game? Dude,” Carr shook his head disapprovingly. “You’re not you when you’re watching football, bro.”

“You’re one to talk, sir,” Rodd rebutted. “I’ve seen you watching the Chargers.”

“Ye-ah, but that’s different. That’s the Chargers. Who are awesome.”

Rodd looked like he might argue for a moment, but decided it wasn’t worth his time to bother. “It’s really nice for you to offer the tickets, sir. What time is kickoff?”

“It’s at 3:30. Perfect time. We can tailgate and then have plenty of time to get back from Denver without it being too late for work,” Wells answered.

“It’s a date!” Carr sung with a pointed finger at his friend.

Kashoku shook her head with a chuckle before her stomach let out a low growl. “Ah, I think I’m going to grab some lunch. Anyone else?”

“I want to finish this first, but thanks,” Rodd responded as he went back to being engrossed with his computer. He had complained all morning how behind he had gotten due to working on the _Prometheus_.

“I ate about an hour ago,” Carr waved her off, propping his feet back up on his desk and maximizing the window for Minesweeper again.

“I’ll go,” Wells smiled as he pushed himself back up and out of his seat. “I skipped breakfast this morning, so I’m starving.”

Kashoku knew he definitely did not skip breakfast that morning, but she smiled and accepted it anyway. “Ok, then.”

When the two were safely out of earshot of their teammates down the hall, Wells leaned in and whispered, “At least this time you won’t have to worry about me being distracted during sex.”

“That’s only because your culture frowns on public sexual activities,” Kashoku argued playfully, bumping into him slightly. “Otherwise, I’m sure you’d find a way to pay more attention to sweaty men hitting each other than me.”

“Wait, people in Spira have public sex?!” Wells asked, pleasantly intrigued.

“Well, I mean, I haven’t seen it a lot, but I wouldn’t say that it’s uncommon. Nor would I be bothered by seeing it,” Kashoku shrugged absently. Spirans were a lot more comfortable with their bodies than people on Earth were. Zanarkand was not without its incidents in that department on a nightly basis.

“I mean, if you were willing I’m sure we could -,”

“Not around Jeremy and Robbie!” Kashoku shrieked, pushing him back and out of her way with emphasis.

Wells grinned through the motions, recovering effortlessly. “I’m just saying.”

It took everything for Kashoku to not blush in front of all the personnel at the SGC as they walked down the hallway. Thankfully, out of the corner of her eye, Kashoku spotted Kage. “Kage-chan!”

Kage barely halted from her brisk walk. “Oh, hey.”

“Where are you going?” Kashoku asked, quickly leaving Wells and their conversation behind.

“We just got called up on a mission,” Kage explained, not bothering to even make eye-contact with her friend.

Kashoku frowned, “So soon? You and Jeremy just got back from working on the _Prometheus_.”

“Yeah well, no one goes on vacation around here, I’ve noticed,” Kage scoffed as she jammed the button on the elevator. “SG-9 went on a routine mission and hasn’t reported in over 24 hours. What a shocker, a routine mission going badly.”

Kashoku worried that Kage had too much going on in such a short span of time, but she also knew that her friend preferred the quick and busy pace of things. When she got bored bad things happened. “Ok, well, be safe, neh?”

The elevator doors closed.

~*~

The moment they stepped through the gate, Kage had a bad feeling creeping beneath her skin. It was dark, but it shouldn't be night time according to the reports they had gotten about the cycle of the planet. A dense blanket of fog veiled the city in something ominous. The architecture seemed vaguely similar to Earth structures, but no one occupied the streets other than their team.

“Well, this is creepy as shit,” Bentley murmured as he tapped his pointer finger against his weapon above the trigger nervously.

“What are you worried about? Black man always dies first in these movies,” Rafe joked, seemingly not as bothered by the eeriness that had befallen the city as Bentley was.

Ramirez took a long look around the horizon warily. “SG-9 didn’t check in at all, not even once? So we have no idea what the hell we are facing here?”

“No,” Connors’s low voice grumbled into the still air around them. “But I’m not going to just stand here and wait for someone to come to us.” Swinging his weapon over his shoulder he marched towards the nearest door and began pounding on the wooden structure with his fist. There was no response on his first try, but it did not keep him from pounded on the door repeatedly until it finally swung open, an elder gentleman peering out behind the small open crack with wide and scared eyes.

“Go away! You aren’t welcome here!” He hissed with fear.

Connors grabbed hold of the edge of the door to keep the man from slamming it in his face. “I frankly don’t give a damn if we are welcome here or not. You will either tell us where the other team from Earth is or you will point us in the direction of someone who does.”

Realizing quickly that SG-11 was not going to leave without the information they asked for, the man opened the door wider and waived the team frantically into his house. “Hurry and get in out of the street, then. They can’t see you!”

“Who is ‘they’?” Ramirez inquired as she skeptically entered, eyeing the interior of the home.

“The Hyrin,” the man spoke in a whisper, as if the word itself would bring forth some tragedy.

The team gave each other a questioning glance, but it was Connors who took the lead on the questioning. “The Hyrin? Is that where our people are? With them?”

The man gave a curt nod. “We told your friends not to look into it, but they insisted on trying to help us, and look where it got them! You will end up the same if you try and look for them! It would be best to leave, while you are fortunate enough to be able to do so."

“Why?” Kage questioned, curiosity rising within her. Whoever these Hyrin were hadn't been mentioned in any reports, but she supposed they wouldn't have been with no previous visits.

“The Hyrin leave us alone for the most part, provided we offer them up new food sources each month as needed, but they _don’t_ like outsiders,” He spoke quickly, rubbing his hands together in nervousness.

“Why do I have a feeling this ‘food source’ you are talking about is people?” Rafe shifted his weight, his care-free visage slowly washing away with discomfort.

Connors’s face grew hard with anger at Rafe's suggestion. “Are you telling me that our people have become a food source for these Hyrin?”

“I told you,” the man insisted, taking several steps back, “We told them not to go!”

“Why did they want to go investigating in the first place?” Bentley asked, his finger twitching closer to the trigger than before. “SG-9 isn’t exactly full of idiots. There had to have been a reason that they’d want to put themselves in danger.”

“They said they wanted to try and save us…to keep the Hyrin from taking our people every month," He answered, a guilty flash in his eyes.  "You see, the Hyrin keep the rest of us safe by telling the spirits to stay away from the town as long as we provide them with food.”

Now _that_ was interesting. Kage immediately found herself wanting to find out more. “Spirits? Yours or theirs? Not friendly, I’m guessing?”

The man lowered his eyes, “Yes…they are the spirits of those who have outlived their ability to be a food source for the Hyrin. They are vengeful, angry at being chosen.”

“So the Hyrin are doing nothing but blackmailing you,” Ramirez scowled. “They are only volunteering to solve a problem that they created in the first place. No wonder SG-9 tried to stop the bullshit.”

“Where can we find the Hyrin?” Connors questioned, wanting to waste no time in finding their fellow team.

“Please, _please_ do not go after your friends. You will only end up in the same fate,” the man begged.

“Well,” Connors spoke plainly, “If we do end up taken, it’ll be less of your own that will be.”

“Aw, shit,” Bentley cursed under his breath, clutching his weapon to his chest, his finger now on the trigger. “We really going after these things, boss?”

Connors gave a huff. “Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.”

Kage clenched her jaw, not convinced that this mission was worth the risk, despite her curiosity. “How do we even know they are still alive? For all we know this could be nothing but a trap to lead us down the same path. We don’t know if the Hyrin play with their food or just devour it.”

“The Hyrin make their blood sources last for months, typically, before they come calling again,” the man said.

“ _Holy shit_ we’re dealing with fucking vampires here,” Ramirez rolled her eyes, Spanish streaming from her lips rapidly. “I ain’t messin with this shit.”

“I’m going to suck your blood!” Bentley whispered as he hovered over Ramirez playfully, even though the act was only to try and calm his own nerves.

“I will ask you one more time where we can find the Hyrin before I force it out of you in not so kind ways,” Connors threatened as he backed the gentleman into the edge of his dining table.

“The Ygarri Ghi! The eastern caverns! You can find them there!” The man had his hands above his face, waiting for a potential strike from Connors.

“I don’t suppose we could get a tour guide?” Rafe questioned.

“I’ll take you,” a gentle voice spoke from the staircase.

“Kyri, no!” The man pleaded.

She was young. Kage guessed she was still in what the Earthlings called the ‘teens’, but she looked strong despite her soft voice. “You’d lead us to the Hyrin? Why?”

Kyri crossed her arms protectively. “You’ll try and take them out right? When you save your friends?”

“I imagine the Hyrin will not take kindly to us taking away what they’ve claimed as their food source. In which case, we will fight them,” Connors explained firmly, meeting the girl eye for eye.

Her posture straightened and became much more confident. “Good. Then I’m coming. No one knows the Ghi better than me.”

“Please, Kyri! It is not worth it!” The man begged.

“It’s not your choice,” she scowled as she descended the stairs. “I will no longer live my life in fear that I will be the next chosen."

"I can't guarantee we can help you," Connors said, making sure that Kyri understood the risks.

"I know," she nodded, "But you are the best chance my people have to get rid of them since we are too scared to deal with it ourselves."

~*~

Kashoku had decided to arrive early to Wells’s house for the game. They hadn’t had much time this week with their offworld schedule to be together, and she thought that maybe they could get a quick one in before Rodd and Carr came over. She was not prepared for the glum looking expression he had when he answered the door.

“Well, at least _you_ didn’t bail,” he sighed as he left the door open for her to follow.

Justice’s whole body wiggled with excitement as he licked at Kashoku’s hands, begging the woman to pet him. She complied, but shot Wells a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Rodd has to go back to Arizona last minute to do something on the _Prometheus_ and Michelle came down with something and Robbie didn’t want to leave her. So, it’s just you and me today,” he said as he took a swig from a beer he had already opened and half-way downed.

Kashoku was disappointed to know that they wouldn’t be spending the day together as a team, but she was equally as happy to spend it solely with Wells. “Well,” she began as she seductively walked towards him, “then I guess I don’t have to worry about either of them coming in on us while we have a little pre-game get together.”

Wells’s frown turned upside down as she grabbed onto his collar and pulled them so that their lips were inches apart. “Oh, so is that why you are over an hour early? Didn’t think I could pull off a quicky?”

“Of course I could make _you_ come quick,” she responded challengingly, leaning in and licking a long stripe from the base of his neck up to his ear, “but there are two of us here.”

Wells grabbed on firmly to her waist, lifting her and spinning them so that she was resting on the counter top with him towering over her. “Sounds like a challenge,” he breathed before his fingers were popping the button of her denim shorts, pulling down the zipper, and sliding the clothing down her lithe legs onto the floor past her ankle boots. They had heels that could pierce right though his skin, but he loved the way they looked on her. Slowly, he started trailing kisses from her knee all the way up her inner thigh. His teeth gently nibbled at the soft and sensitive skin with each kiss.

Kashoku thrust her hips forward, positioning her body closer to the edge of the countertop and to his mouth. “I thought you were going to make this quick.”

Wells lifted his head long enough to smirk before placing his hands on her torso underneath her breasts and diving in with his tongue. Kashoku let out a sharp gasp, her body snapping to full attention as he forced her legs wider with his elbows and pleasured her with his tongue. Kashoku’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, placing her hands excitedly on Wells’s head. There were no complaints as he eagerly twirled his tongue and placed strategic kisses.

Without even having to add fingers he had Kashoku screaming in under five minutes, her legs almost crushing his skull between them with pleasure. The heels of her boots scraped against his back leaving what was sure to be bruises, but he never flinched as her body trembled with orgasm.  Slowly he rose, her skin beneath his hands trembling and brought her in for a deep kiss. “How’s that for a quicky?”

Kashoku was panting, trying to catch her breath, but she somehow managed to grab hold of the waistband of his jeans to pull him closer. “Do you see me complaining?”

Wells grabbed hold of her hands before they could dive down beneath the cloth. “If we go there, I don’t think we’ll ever make it to the game. But if the Broncos win, you spend the night.”

Kashoku licked her lips, stunned by his proposition. They had both agreed after the first incident that they would never spend the night to avoid having to answer any kind of rousing suspicions. “Are you sure?”

Wells gave a shrug as he lowered his hands from her side and took a step back so that she could hop off and pull her shorts back on. “It’s the best time to do it. Everyone knows we are going to the game together and it won’t be suspicious if we get back from Denver late after a celebration and you’re too tired to drive back to the SGC. Surprisingly enough, I think it’s about the least suspicious thing the two of us could ever do together.”

Kashoku bit at her inner lip, unsure if it were really as good of an idea as Wells thought. But Yevon, she wanted it. She wanted nothing more than to spend the entire night in the comfort of his arms and familiar bed. “Ok.”

Wells smiled. “Good. But if you are going to be cheering the Broncos on properly, it’s not going to be in that shirt.”

Kashoku frowned as she looked down at her shirt. “I just bought this, what’s wrong with it?”

“It doesn’t say Broncos on it!” Wells argued as reached for a bag on one of the other kitchen counters and pulled out a bright orange shirt that he tossed at her.

Kashoku unfolded the garment so she could see it in full. It had the logo of the Broncos and blue hearts and text. Smiling, she took her shirt off and switched it for the one Wells had given her. “Better?”

“Much,” he agreed before leaning in to kiss her again.

~*~

"Can you fight?" Connors asked as he watched Kyri begin to gather things from a closet.

Kyri pulled out an advanced looking bow made from some sort of metal. "I help my family out by hunting animals to sell at the market. Pretty much the same thing, right?"

Connors tilted his head in agreement. "Are you prepared to move out now?"

"Yes. The Hyrin rarely sleep, so there isn't a time better than any other to approach them," she spoke as she brushed past them and towards the door.

"Then do your people lock themselves away like this all the time?" Rafe asked as they stepped back into the vacant street.

"No," Kyri shook her head. "Normally...things are normal. But the Hyrin have been angry with us for welcoming outsiders. They have been conducting the Herd randomly and more frequently since. They shouldn't even need the food source, but they are doing it out of spite."

"The Herd? Like a bunch of fucking livestock?" Ramirez questioned, clenching her jaw in disgust.

"Yes. Exactly like that."

There was gush of cold air and Kage felt a shiver crawl up her spine. “You said you know these caves pretty well. Why would you venture so close to where the Hyrin stay?”

Kyri glanced back over her shoulder at Kage with a forlorn look before her eyes strayed to the ground ahead of her. “A lot of animals dwell by the caves because it allows for shelter. The Hyrin don’t bother them because they aren’t their food source. Normally when I hunt I stay far enough away, but…A few summers ago, I went out on my own for the first time and I was caught by a Hyrin.”

“And you escaped?” Ramirez questioned, a surprised eyebrow raised.

Kyri shook her head, “No, I didn’t. I was too young and not any good for a food source. They let me go so I could ‘mature’ and then they’d come back for me,” she swallowed hard, biting at her lower lip to keep her emotions in control.

“So that’s why you want us to kill them so bad,” Kage huffed, irritated but understanding that she was hunted. Shika had told her something similar when she had left the Underground. “You know that you will be chosen. It’s just a matter of when.”

“I can either stay at home and try and hide during the Herd and feel sorry for myself or I can do something about it,” Kyri agreed.

Connors seemed somewhat impressed by the young girl’s response. “Wise. Can you tell us anything that might be of use before we enter their territory?”

Kyri stopped from her place in the front and turned, her brown ponytail flying behind her and across to the other shoulder. “They _do_ like to play with their food. They will get in your head, and they will mess with you. They show you things…terrible things. They find what scares you and they turn everything around you into that fear.”

“Ah, a good old fashioned mind-fuck,” Bentley hummed, his tight-lipped smile obviously a front from what he was really feeling. “I love this.”

“That’s nothing me and my people haven’t been trained to deal with,” Connors said casually.

Kage wondered if he really felt that way, or if he just didn’t believe what the girl was selling. The Spiran wasn’t as fazed by the ghost stories as Bentley, but she had to admit there was a deep part of her that was sending off a warning signal telling her she shouldn’t go near the caverns.

They travelled for well over an hour before Kyri brought them into a tight huddle behind some tall bushes and had them kneel down. She pointed towards the side of a tall rock formation. “There.” The intricate carvings were clear in the fact that someone – or _something_ – dwelled beyond the small opening.

“I don’t suppose there’s another way in besides the front door?” Rafe asked, not liking the idea of going in guns blazing.

“If there’s another way, I don’t know about it,” Kyri apologized. “Their city is pretty deep within the mountain. It’s not likely we’d encounter any right at the entrance. We’d have the time to try and be…sneaky.”

“City?” Ramirez asked with surprise. “Just how many of these fuckers are there?”

“It was hard to tell when I was there, but a couple hundred at least,” Kyri answered.

“And you want us to take them all out?!” Ramirez hissed with anger. “You are out of your god damn mind!”

Kyri clenched her jaw angrily. “I know that it’s unrealistic that we could take them all out on our own, but if we can rescue your people and take a good chunk of the Hyrin out in the process, it would show my people that they aren’t invincible and encourage them to fight back.”

Connors let out a drawn out groan. “I like this less and less, but we have little choice. Stay alert, and stay close.” He swung his weapon from his back to his front and took it off safety.

“Anyone else thinking about how they’d rather be fighting Jaffa right now?” Bentley asked as they moved swiftly in the open area towards the mouth of the cavern.

“Been thinking that since we came through the Gate,” Rafe agreed, his weapon at the low ready, all filed in behind one another.

“Stay as quiet as you can,” Kyri warned, “Their senses are much better than ours.”

“Of course they are,” Ramirez mumbled, cursing under her breath.

It did not take long for the light to completely fade in the cavern the further they travelled. If the Hyrin were able to see in the darkness, there was little hope they would all make it out of this without being caught. Kage had always been able to see better than most, but even she was blind to the movements of Ramirez in front of her. She was comforted by the sounds of her teammates breathing, knowing that they were all still with her at least.

Kage used her hand to follow the wall, but the rocks seemed to have led her to a dead end, her body running right into them. “ _Kuso_ ,” she cursed, rubbing at her nose that had taken the brunt of the hit. That’s when she realized she could no longer hear anything. “Ramirez? Rafe?” There was no response. Reaching out she waved her hand around her, hoping to hit something or someone.

“Kage!”

Kage’s head snapped towards the direction of the voice, her entire body freezing in place. That _wasn’t_ one of her teammates.

“Kage, _taskute kudasai!_ ”

Kage’s heart began pounding in her chest wildly with panic as she found an open space again and took off at a jog. A soft white glow appeared a few hundred feet in front of her, and she began to sprint as her vision started coming back to her. She rounded the corner with so much force she stumbled, her hand barely breaking her fall.

“Kage, please,” a broken voice pleaded with her, only feet away.

Kage lifted her head and a breath caught in her throat. There, chained, bloody, and beaten, was Kashoku. 

~*~

The environment at sporting events on Earth was something Kashoku hoped one day she could bring to Spira. Thousands of people were gathered together in the parking lot drinking and eating. Some had several televisions set up under canopies while other played various types of games to entertain themselves. Wells had apparently made friends with the group that parked next to him every game, so they brought their food and drinks to their vehicle to join in.

Kashoku found it easy to make friends with various people, despite not being able to discuss much about football itself. Wells assured them that he was working on it, and that was good enough for them. It was a gorgeous day out. There was not a cloud in the sky, but there was enough of a breeze in their nose bleed seats that the sun was not as brutal as it could have been.

The game had turned in favor of the opposition quickly, leaving Kashoku surrounded by angry, vulgar chants and an irritated Wells. Thankfully the Broncos managed to rally in the last quarter causing loud eruptions of cheers and an almost-kiss before they had realized they were still in public. They left the stadium clinging to each other and laughing.

“You chugged a beer every time they scored, are you so you are ok to drive? I’m sure I could manage to get us home if you aren’t,” Kashoku asked as they walked among the large crowd all trying to leave simultaneously.

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m _fine_ ,” Wells assured with a smile, “and you don’t know how to drive stick so even if I wasn’t ok you wouldn’t be driving my car.”

Kashoku rolled her eyes but gave his arm a squeeze as she let her head fall against his shoulder. “Thanks for inviting me. It would have been a lot of fun with Robbie and Jeremy here, but,” she cast her eyes down towards the sidewalk, a small bite of her lower lip wondering if she should finish her sentence. “I’m glad it was just us.”

Wells looked down at her, his lip curling up slightly. “I’m really pissed off it’ll take us an hour to get home, you know that?”

Kashoku gave him a seductive look, “Better drive fast, then, huh?”

Wells did drive fast, and they hadn’t even been able to make it completely through the door before clothes started coming off. It was still early by all rights, the clock barely having just hit 8:30. Kashoku couldn’t even remember how long they had been at it before they had finally settled in the bed and as per their agreement, she had spent the night.

When she finally began to wake again she was overwhelmed by warmth and a sense of security. Without even opening her eyes she could feel Wells’s arm wrapped tightly around her waist and his chin tucked in the dip of her shoulder. The heavy weight on her foot told her Justice had joined them up in the bed sometime during the night.

With a content sigh she almost found herself dozing back off until she realized that this was all _wrong_. Everything about this was exactly what they had agreed they wouldn’t do when they began this _thing_ between them. No spending the night, and no attachments. It had seemed to be going fine for a month, and then over the last few weeks they’d started acting like…a couple.

Wells shifted against her, and she could feel him stretching beneath the covers before he sucked in a deep breath through his nose and breathed out a sleep filled “Good morning.”

Kashoku could feel the hot tears stinging and she buried her face into the pillow to keep him from seeing them. As lazy as the words might have seemed to most people, she could feel the emotions he had put into them. They were drowning her as she lay there, reminding her with every breath he took that they had gone too far. Words caught in her throat as she tried to speak, unwilling to find the right thing to say.

So she said nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm alive hahahaha. For those of you who even read this, you are the best and I love you.

No. This couldn't be right. Kashoku hadn't come on the mission. She was back on Earth out with her team at some sporting event or something. With a sucked in breath she backed against the edge of the cave, the rock cold and wet against her. It felt so _real_ and the more she looked at her friend the more she couldn't shake the feeling of this just being some bad dream.  

"Please," Kashoku begged, her body slumped against the chains that held her to the post, “Kage, _help_ me.” 

It took everything in Kage to not sprint forward, but she forced her body to stay put. “Why can’t you heal yourself?” There was a lot of blood. Too much blood. It didn’t make sense. 

“…What?” Kashoku’s voice sounded dazed and confused. “Kage, I’m too weak to use magic.” 

Kage’s jaw clenched in question, but she moved forward hesitantly anyway to begin assessing the chains that held her friend. “Why are you here? We haven’t been gone for that long.” Kage reached into her back pocket and pulled out a tool to begin messing with the locking mechanism.  

“Kage, SG-11 has been missing for over 48 hours without a check-in,” Kashoku gave her friend a frown through the pain.  

Kage paused. That wasn’t right. There was absolutely no way. “What? 48-hours? No fucking way. There is definitely something weird going on here, but I _know_ we haven’t been gone that long, Kashy.  Not long enough to cause worry and have to send a team after us. Besides, weren’t you and the team all the way in Denver?” 

“We decided not to go,” Kashoku responded, instantly rubbing at her wrists the instant Kage got them free. “We were put on call for you.” 

SG-3 was on call for them. That’s why Kashoku and SG-15 had decided to go to the game. Without warning Kage reached out and grabbed hold of Kashoku’s throat, slamming her back into the rock. Her eyes were unforgiving. “Who are you?!” 

Kashoku gasped and grabbed at Kage’s wrists, clawing at them desperately to try to pull them off of her. “Kage, what are you doing?!” 

“SG-15 was not on call for us this weekend. _Who are you_?” Kage tightened her grip. 

Kashoku’s face turned from fearful to one of wonder. “I think the question is,” she winced, trying to find air, _"_ What are _you_?” 

Kage loosened her grip, caught off guard by the question. Suddenly Kashoku’s eyes turned an orange red color and her face began to morph into something entirely different. There was suddenly a sharp pain hitting her head, and she couldn’t breathe. Gasping wildly she opened her eyes and found herself in different surroundings, her hands now the ones bound above her head. Instead of Kashoku, it was now a man with skin so pale you could see black veins. His eyes were like fire and seemed to not hold a pupil.  

“I told you she tasted funny,” A woman - well, female -  who looked very similar mused from over the man’s shoulder. 

Everything hurt. Kage’s head was pounding and her vision didn’t want to seem to focus for more than a few seconds. She tried testing whatever it was that held her wrists, but she felt too weak to even shake at the restraints. “I’ll take it you must be the Hyrin.” 

“You aren’t from the same planet as your companions,” the male Hyrin said, ignoring Kage’s statement. “I’ll ask my question again. _What_ are you?” 

Kage gave a snort, pulling at the chains again weakly. “Why does it matter so much to you?”  

The female marched up and punched Kage right in the cheek, blood falling from her mouth instantly into droplets on the ground. “No one has ever been able to resist the toxin. You will answer his question.” 

Toxin? Well, that explained why she felt like shit. Was that what had caused the illusion? “Yeah well, you make it pretty easy when you don’t get into character.” She turned her head to the side to spit out another round of blood, but paused. Next to her, unconscious, was Ramirez. Blinking to try and clear her vision again, she noticed the rest of her team and SG-9 was here.  

“Do you see them? All sleeping? That’s what _you_ should be doing,” the female hissed, grabbing Kage’s chin forcefully and making her look at the others. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” 

“Not tired,” Kage huffed, her sarcasm obviously not affected by the grogginess she felt.  

The female was about to hit her again but the male waved her off. “That’s enough, Ylkää.”  

"Akko-," 

He held up his hand to silence her and moved his companion out of the way, his face uncomfortably close to Kage as he leaned in and seemed to _smell_ her skin at the base of her neck. Kage felt herself freeze, unable to lash out as his tongue darted out against her skin. There was a sharp pain as his teeth sunk in. Kage screamed out, her head exploding and vision turning gray. 

"Interesting...she tastes just like-," 

 _Ramirez barged into_ _Kage's_ _room, her eyes bloodshot from tears and her face scowling with hatred. "This is_ _all your_ _fault!"_  

 _Kage_ _scrambled off the bed where she had been watching TV, "What are you talking about? What happened?"_  

 _Ramirez landed a punch right between the_ _nose_ _of an unsuspecting_ _Kage_ _. "I was found out because of_ you!" 

 _Kage_ _grabbed at her likely broken nose painfully, blood streaming down her face across her lips and chin. "Fuck! What are you talking about!?"_  

 _"You talked to someone about_ us _and now everyone knows! General Hammond knows and there is nothing he can do to protect me!" Ramirez shouted at the top of her lungs. "He can't touch you because you are a fucking alien, but me? Do you know what this has done to me?!"_  

 _Kage's_ _eyes went wide in shock, realizing what Ramirez was talking about. "No, that's not true. I haven't talked to anyone! No one knows! I swear I haven't said anything! Please believe me!"_  

 _Ramirez picked up the lamp on the night stand and threw it just over_ _Kage's_ _head at the wall. "EVERYONE KNOWS!" There was a rippling sob wretched from Ramirez's throat. "I've been stripped of my rank and given an 'other than honorable' discharge. I can_ never _come back to the Marines, or to the SGC! No one will hire me because I wasn't given an honorable discharge! My entire life is destroyed because of you!"_  

 _This couldn’t be happening. There was absolutely no way that anyone found out. They had been so extremely careful, and_ _Kage_ _knew she hasn't told anyone. This had to be some sort of setup. "Veronica, listen to me. I did not tell anyone anything! I swear this wasn't me!"_  

 _"I don't ever want to see you again!" Ramirez pointed an angry finger at_ _Kage_ _, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Go back to_ _Spira_ _and stay far the fuck away from me!_  

 _"Veronica, wait,"_ _Kage_ _reached out and grabbed for the woman's wrist, but Ramirez yanked back hard._  

 _"Don't! Don't_ touch _me!"_  

Kage gasped as she came to once more. The Hyrin were absent, the room dark and silent save her sharp breaths. Closing her eyes she willed her heart to slow and controlled her breathing. Now could be the only time she had to try and figure a way out of things. Looking around she saw nothing that could be of potential use. All that was visible to her were her teammates out cold.  

"Dammit," she hissed, giving her chains a hard pull. There was a pin in her hair that could probably help her get out, but what was she supposed to do about everyone else? She couldn't exactly carry them all out. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she fell limp, trying to let her body rest as she thought. 

It grew very cold suddenly. 

Kage could see her breath coming out in white puffs, a ghostly figure taking shape with each blow.  

 _Help us_. 

A shiver ran up her spine, pupils widening in fear. The incident from the SGC flashed in her head, a memory she couldn't get rid of no matter how desperately she tried. The shadows. The voices. None of it should have been possible. 

 _Help us._  

"...How?" She asked in a whisper, heart thumping in her ears as the ghost became more visible. Were these the spirits the Hyrin claimed to keep the town safe from? 

There was a slam and the thing in front of her vanished into the dark. Akko walked in to the room and paused, head instantly snapping to her direction. "Awake...again?" With a slow, deliberate step he moved towards her. "I have been alive a _very_ long time and only once have I tasted something like you."  

Kage tried to make herself smaller as he approached, but there was nothing for her body to shrink into. Akko got so close their chests were touching, his hands clasped behind his back. "It was when we were first brought to this planet by the Goa'uld. They stripped us of our home and our _food._ We were dropped on the other side of the planet, far from the native inhabitants. I grew so hungry I had no other choice...I drank and bathed in the blood of one I called friend for many long years." 

Akko leaned forward so that his lips hovered over the spot on her neck he had bitten into previously, her pulse beating wildly beneath the skin. "You tasted like him." 

Kage had no time to take in his words, his teeth sinking into her neck again.

 _Kage_ _woke, but it took no time for her to quickly realize she was only awake in her mind. Her head wasn't groggy and her strength had returned to her. Clearly, it was a dream._  

 _"_ _Tsk_ _,_ _tsk_ _,_ _tsk_ _," a cold voice hissed in the darkness._  

 _Kage_ _turned her head around frantically, trying to determine where the voice was coming from, but all could she was vast nothingness._ _"Who are you?"_  

_"Who am I, indeed!? Yes, that's a splendid question. You know the answer," the voice insisted, his voice echoing in the shadow._

_A soft white glow began to illuminate the space, just enough that_ _Kage_ _could see the outline of someone in front of her once her eyes adjusted. She stayed still, watching him closely. "I don't know you."_  

 _The man held up a finger. "Not true! This_ is _in your mind, isn't it? So then your mind must know who I am. All of the_ _Hyrin's_ _illusions are your....nightmares."_  

 _Kage_ _gave an amused snort at his response. There were a million things she could think of that she considered a nightmare, and this was not it. "You expect me to believe you are a nightmare?"_  

 _"Ding, ding, my little shadow!_ _I am one of your nightmares. I should take offense to it, but I don't!"_   _His voice was full of pure mockery. That bothered Kage more than anything about this nameless man._

 _The other visions made sense. They were situations_ _Kage_ _could admit to being afraid of..._ _Kashoku_ _being seriously injured, destroying any sort of relationship with Ramirez...but this? She had no idea what this was. This was obviously something caused by the_ _Hyrin_ _toxin and not something of her own making. "I'm not afraid of someone I've never met."_  

 _The man stepped forward into the light, his face inches from_ _Kage's_ _. She instantly recoiled. His eyes were like the_ _Hyrin_ _, pale skinned, too. His hair was dark and unruly, reaching his shoulders._ _Kage_ _couldn't put a name to this man, and she couldn't put where she had met him, but she definitely_ knew _this man. And now she was afraid. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and she could feel a shiver run down her spine._  

 _"Do you remember me now?" He asked with a toothy grin, the points of his canines showing. Was this man_ _Hyrin_ _, too?_   There were many similarities.

 _Kage_ _sucked in a shuddered breath. "Who are you?"_  

 _The man retreated with a chuckle "Yes, I think you do remember me. Not my name perhaps, not particularly who I am to_ you," _he poked her in the chest to emphasize his point, "but you do remember. Some call me a god, some call me a devil. I think I know which one I am to you!"_  

 _Kage_ _shut her eyes tightly, turning away, willing herself to wake up. This man's voice was like a talking snake slowly coiling itself around her ready to squeeze the life out. She couldn't remember feeling this sense of terror before. She had to wake up. "Leave me alone, Is_ _ä!"_  

 _The man let out a sinister laugh._  

 _"Wake up,_ _Kage_ _," A voice whispered behind her._  

 _Kage_ _gasped and spun around._ _Another_ _Hyrin_ _._ _If that's what they were...were they? He looked like the others - dark hair and red eyes - but his face was softer, his eyes kinder._  

 _"You must wake up. Even in your mind, he can consume you," he warned._  

 _"Who are you people!?"_ _Kage_ _screamed out, tears forming in her eyes out of frustration and fear._  

 _The man smirked seductively, but kindly, "Oh,_ _Kage_ _. How could you possibly forget those nights we would spend together? I'm most certainly offended that my...skills are not remembered. Do you think_ _Kashoku_ _remembers?"_  

 _"Now, now, now, don't let that traitor distract you," the snake grabbed her shoulders from behind and pulled her back into the darkness. "I always did find you so weak."_   _He clucked his tongue in disappointment. "So easily persuaded."_

 _"Wake up,_ _Kage_ _!" The other man shouted again, this time successfully jolting her from her dream._  

The spirit was formed right in front of her face when she woke, it's face mangled into something almost completely inhuman. _Help us_. 

Kage wasn't as startled this time. Licking the sweat from her lips and staring at it questioningly she asked, "Help you do what?" 

 _Be free._  

Eyes narrowed, puzzled at the answer. Her breathing was still labored from her dream, but she desperately tried to quiet it. "From what? The Hyrin?" 

 _We are slaves_. 

She remembered what Kyri had said. The Hyrin had created the spirits as leverage. Of course they’d want to be set free, but what did they expect her to do? She wasn't a Summoner, and even if she had been, there was no guarantee things worked the same here as they did on Spira putting the dead to rest. "How do they keep you here?" 

 _Control_. 

Sure. That helped. "How can I help you?" 

 _Control._  

She shook her head, confused and frustrated, biting at her lip angrily. "You think I can control you? The Hyrin?" 

 _You already have_. 

Kage's didn't hear anything else the spirit had to say, the toxin taking its hold over her once more and thrusting her unconscious mind back into the dream world. 

 _"Look who is back!" The snake grinned, hovering over_ _Kage's_ _body lying on the floor._  

 _Kage_ _quickly sat up and curled up against the wall as if she was expecting the man to attack, but his hands were clasped behind his back calmly. "Go away."_  

 _He smirked. "Make me." Turning with a bounce in his step he walked towards_ _an alter_ _where an injured swan lay bloody and barely breathing. Th_ _e man plucked a feather from it_ _s wing, the swan crying out in pain. "Do you remember when I killed your light? I do, like it was just yesterday. You thought she had made it across the river, but I caught her, and put her in my playground. It was_ so _much fun. I wish she had lasted longer, but eventually all my playthings meet a tragic demise."_  

 _Kage_ _swallowed, trying desperately to decipher what he was talking about. There was a feeling of grief in the pit of her stomach, but she couldn't pinpoint why. Was it grief for the poor animal that was being tortured? That wasn't normally a thing that tugged at her emotional strings. But nothing about this was normal._  

 _"I couldn't wait to give you the news, but_ _Joutsen_ _had_ other _ideas," he angrily grabbed the swan's neck and began to strangle it. "That infuriating crow bartered for your light's soul and ruined everything." There was a snap and the swan went limp in his hands._ _"Pretty, little, princess...she ruined you."_  

 _"She saved you," it was the younger man again, kneeling next to_ _Kage_ _against the wall. "Wake up."_  

 _Kage_ _shook her head, letting out a sob, her fingers grasping at her hair. "I can't...they'll just put me to sleep again."_  

 _"You are stronger than you think," he argued, placing gentle hands on her knees. "You've controlled the darkness before, haven't you?"_  

 _Kage's mind once once more flooded with the shadows from the SGC_ _. "I didn't control them,"_ _Kage_ _shook her head in disbelief. It had just been a lucky go, right? The spirits and this man were wrong. She couldn't control anything._   _She was useless._

 _"You did," he objected, "and you can do the same with the souls of the dead. The_ _Hyrin_ _control them now, but they will easily turn against them with your guidance. They suffered at the hands of the_ _Hyrin_ _...they will seek revenge. You simply must know how to ask the question."_  

 _"You should just give up," the other man interjected. "You always were too weak to live up to your true potential. You let_ her _get into your head. Pretty little princess." He growled angrily, plucking a handful of feathers from the dead swan._  

 _Kage_ _clenched her fists and shouted, "Stop it! Get out of my head! YOU AREN'T REAL."_  

Kage returned to consciousness with a fiery rage, the chains breaking under her strength as she pulled from the wall. Her weight propelled her forward to her knees, knocking straight into someone. She recognized the Hyrin as the woman Akko. 

"What the-?!"  

Kage could feel a rumble in her stomach as she let out a growl, wrapping the chain around the Hyrin’s neck. The woman struggled, lashing out violently, though she seemed to barely move beneath Kage’s adrenaline fueled strength. With one last breath and a tug on the chains she collapsed dead, but Kage did not stop pulling at the metal around her flesh until the head popped off with a sickening sound. Deep breaths filled the room, Kage’s body shaking and eyes wide at what she had just done.

“Kill them,” she breathed shakily. “Kill them all.” At the command hundreds of spirits began to materialize around her within the cave. 

 _Control._ _Free._ _Yessssss_ _._ There was a shrilling screech and the spirits sprinted off in different directions through the air. 

Kage frantically searched Akko for some sort of key, finding  a ring of them tucked away inside her jacket. Jumping to her feet she launched towards the nearest teammate, freeing Connors from his confines. “Sir, wake up, come on, wake up!” She gave her commanding officer a hard shake, even shoving him against the wall to try and jolt him. 

Connors gasped and his eyes shot open, his hand grabbing at Kage’s wrist violently before realizing it was friend over foe. “What. What’s going on?” 

“The spirits are rebelling. We have to get out of here _now_ ,” Kage said, moving on to Rafe to give Connors time to regain his bearings. She left Bentley, SG-9, and Kyri to Connors to try and wake  from their slumber, eager to get to Ramirez. “Ramirez. Come on, wake up.” 

Ramirez took a hard minute before she finally responded to the increasingly harder slaps on her cheeks. With a groan she began to open her eyes. As soon as they focused she screamed and curled against the wall. “Get away from me!” 

Kage scrambled to grab at Ramirez’s hands to stop the punches, a few of them making it through and hitting her square in the jaw. “Ramirez! Veronica! Stop! It’s me!” 

Ramirez stilled, but her eyes were still wide in fear. “Then why do you look like them?! Why do you look like a Hyrin?!” 

 _You taste like one of us_. 

Kage shook her head, trying to regain focus after all the hits. “It’s just the toxin. It’s fucking with all of us. We have to go. Can you stand?” 

Ramirez still looked unsure and frightened, but she gave Kage’s wrist a reassuring squeeze and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” 

Kage helped her to her feet, supporting her weight against her. “Is everyone up? We’ve got to move, _now_.” Everyone seemed conscious except for Kyri, Rafe cradling her in his arms. 

“What the hell is going on?” Lorne asked, wincing as he rubbed at a bleeding gash on his forehead.  

“Talk later, move now,” Connors ordered, starting towards the door to the room. It was chaos in the main city. The screams would echo in his dreams for weeks to come.  

“How the fuck do we get out of here?!” Bentley asked over the noise, his usual mask completely gone now in the wake of pending doom.  

 _This way_. 

Kage could feel something tug her towards a path to her left. “It’s this way.” 

“How do you know?” Bentley questioned out of horror, no longer able to keep his emotions in check. 

A rush of anger filled her, “I just fucking know, ok?!” The anger stilled when she saw Bentley recoil. She’d never seen him look at her that way before. Was he seeing the same thing Ramirez was? How badly did this toxin screw with everyone else?

“Let’s just go!” Lorne cried out, dodging a spirit that came flying at him and pushing his own teammates forward. 

There was jolt, and Kage was sure she was no longer in control of her own body. Something was leading her through the winding caverns and with every step she could feel herself being pushed further and further down in her own body. Her team was talking to her, but it was only being received in muffled pieces.  

As soon as they met light she saw black. 

~*~ 

 _Kage_ _found herself in a dark forest, fog covering the ground. It was day, but the clouds were dark and there was lightning flashing in the distance. "No, no, no," she whispered to herself. "I thought I did it. I thought we were free."_  

 _"You did," the young man spoke, coming out from behind one of the many dead looking trees. She could see him more clearly now than before. "You are free, but there is still toxin running through your system. There will be no more fear, just obscure dreams until it runs_ _its_ _course."_  

 _"So you're not a nightmare?"_ _Kage_ _crossed her arms cautiously. Just because she didn't get a sense of fear from him didn't mean she was going to trust him._  

 _The man snickered, pleased with himself."On the contrary. You call me a nightmare on a regular basis."_  

 _"The pain in the ass kind of nightmare, I'm guessing?"_ _Kage_ _asked, admitting that she felt that sort of comfort and ease around him._  

 _He responded with a toothy grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows, "A pain in many asses."_  

 _Kage_ _scoffed, taking a seat on a large blackened log. "I still don't know who you are."_  

 _"As it was supposed to be," he sighed and_ _leaned_ _up against a tree. "You were never supposed to remember, but things have been set in motion, now. It'll return to you in time. Inevitably."_  

 _Kage_ _said nothing to that, resting her chin in her hands. There were so many questions. So many doubts. Kage had always been Spiran and nothing more...but was that even true? "Am I_ _Hyrin_ _? I can do what they can do."_  

 _"No," he shook his head certainly, "We are not_ _Hyrin_ _, although I suspect they used to be us a long time ago. They are similar, but we are a much more dignified and sexy species," he gave a wink._  

 _"So...what are we?"_ _Kage_ _was afraid to ask. The fact she could do what she had done scared her, and to think at some point she may find herself craving blood was more than terrifying._  

 _"I can't tell you something you don't know. Remember, I'm just in your head," he tapped at his own head to make his point. "That one might take a while to come back, yet. Frankly, I'm very disappointed you do not remember me. I'm_ _what's_ _really important, here, after all. Well, I suppose you remember me enough to conjure me here...but a name would be nice."_  

 _Kage_ _couldn't help but smile at that. Dropping back into a frown there was a sigh and she interlocked her fingers, stretching her arms above her head. "Is this place supposed to be on_ _Spira_ _, somewhere? It reminds me of the Thunder Plains sort of..."_  

 _"I think you might be on the right track," he shrugged with a playful smile._  

 _"I've been all over_ _Spira_ _, and never been here,"_ _Kage_ _frowned as another flash of lightning lit up the gray sky._   _She had been everywhere you could possibly go on Spira hunting sphere. Well, at least on land, anyway._

 _"You couldn't be seeing this if you had never been here before. And are you_ sure _you've been all over_ _Spira_ _?" He questioned._  

 _Kage_ _didn't answer._  

/*/ 

Kage let out a loud and painful groan as she finally felt herself begin to wake up from her sleep. Her head was pounding again and her entire body throbbed with a dull ache. This was worse than a hangover. It was like she had been beaten to shit on-top of having a hangover. "Kashy..." 

"Oh, stop being such a baby, I'm coming!" 

Kage opened her eyes, a wave of relief washing over her as the view of the infirmary clearly settled in around her. Kashoku approached the side of her bed with a teasing smile. "Fuck you, I hurt." 

Kashoku stuck out her tongue and placed a hand on her shoulder, letting her magic take away the pain. "I'm just kidding. You ok?" 

"Now I am," Kage responded, feeling the headache and the drumming subside into nothing. "Is everyone else ok?" 

Kashoku nodded firmly, "All of SG-9 and SG-11 are healthy and accounted for. They've all been cleared already. You had a lot more of that foreign substance in your bloodstream than everyone else. Had to give it time to pass." 

"Lucky me," Kage grumbled, sitting up slowly in the bed. "I feel fine now, so can I go? I'm fucking starving." 

Kashoku laughed at her friend's bluntness, "Well, I'm not the doctor. Let me go find Janet, ok?" 

"Yeah, thanks," Kage gave a nod and leaned forward, elbows resting on her knees, eyes quickly lost in thought.  

"Glad to see you finally decided to wake up." 

Kage lifted her head to see Ramirez walking in from the hallway. She closed her eyes, relieved to see her safe and sound. "Yeah, I was real tired of sleeping." 

"I still have fucking phantom touches of those things sucking my blood," Ramirez shivered, a hand to her neck in remembrance. "Gross. I don’t even really remember how we got out of there." 

"Yeah," Kage answered absently, her eyes staring off into the distance and thinking back to the man in her head who had helped. "It's all fuzzy." 

Ramirez swallowed, shifting her weight uncomfortably. "Do...you want to talk about it?" 

Kage sat there, thinking about her answer. "Yeah. I do. But not here. Not now." 

There was a twitch of a smile, and Ramirez nodded in understanding. "Yeah. Well...I think I need some serious tequila after this mission...you down?" 

Kage let out a pleasurable moan, "Yes! We might have to go pick up a few bottles. I plan on drinking heavily." 

"Did I hear the words 'drinking' and 'heavily' after having an alien drug running through your system?" Janet chastised as she approached the bed with Kashoku at her heels. "I'd normally say 'No drinking, doctor's orders', but I highly doubt you'd listen anyway." 

"My, how quickly you learn," Kage grinned sarcastically. "Can I go now?" 

"Hold on just a second," Janet stated firmly. "Let us run one more blood test to make sure everything is completely out, and _then_ I'll let you go." 

Kage sighed, irritated, and stuck out her arm. "You and Kashy together are truly a menace." 

Kashoku chuckled, "Well, she sure seems ok to me." 

Kashoku's laugh helped put Kage at east, finally around people and places that she could put a name to and felt completely familiar to her. But the darkness was still there, tapping at a place in her mind that was desperately trying to stay shut...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
> 

Kashoku had been able to convince Wells that her sudden withdrawal the morning after the game was due to lack of sleep, but the heavy heart weighing in her chest knew better. Carr and Bentley could have probably had one hell of a drinking game going based on the times she had caught herself sighing heavily that morning. The situation with SG-9 and SG-11 the previous night had distracted her for a while, but with Kage taking the day off she had nothing to keep her mind from wandering.

“Um,” Rodd’s uncertain voiced prodded from behind, “Are you going to actually pour some coffee or are you going to just stare at it?”

Kashoku blinked, realizing her hand had been on the handle of the pot and hadn’t moved past that. “Sorry!” She apologized, working quickly to pour the liquid into her mug. “Long night. I thought you were back in Arizona?”

Rodd moved forward to pour his own cup, “I was supposed to be. My flight was delayed, and then eventually cancelled. Major Carter said not to worry about it at this point. Guess I could have gone to the game after all.”

Kashoku’s jaw clenched, wondering if things would have gone differently had the rest of the team joined like originally planned. “I’m sorry. We all would have had a lot of fun together.”

Rodd only hummed, mixing in copious amounts of sugar and stirring it absently before asking, “Are you ok?”

“Hmm?” Kashoku took a sip from her mug, trying to shrug off his question despite having heard it clearly.

“You look…lost,” Rodd stated sadly, his face full of concern. “Are things with you and Kage alright? I figured she cancelled our sparring session this morning because of what happened on their mission, but maybe it’s because you two are fighting? Or-oh!” His face fell into a greater state of sadness. “Is it Dr. Jackson? I’ve never lost someone, but I can only imagine. I know it’s been half a year, but you never talk about him and I guess…”

Kashoku was unmoving for a moment before she set down her mug and pulled him into a tight hug. “You are so sweet, you know that?” Rodd was quick to return it, and she could feel him smile against her neck. Pulling back she gazed at him warmly, “You’ve come such a long way since I first met you.”

The blush was still there though it was a lot less prominent than it would have been in the past. “Well, I’ve certainly got a long way to go, still, but I have you and Kage to thank for it. I don’t think my siblings will know what hit them this Christmas when I suddenly fight back.”

Kashoku giggled at the thought, “What comes around goes around, I guess. But, it’s neither of those things. I wouldn’t put it past Kage to be mad at me for something I was unaware of, but I’m pretty sure we are ok right now. As for Daniel,” she let the warmth of the coffee she picked back up ease her aching heart, “I miss him, a lot, but he wouldn’t want me to spend every moment grieving for him.”

“Well, it may not be those things, but you aren’t ok,” Rodd insisted. He moved out of the way of the coffee as someone came by to pour their cup, not lingering to hear any further conversation. “You’re the one that’s usually poking all of us about what’s wrong, but I think it’s ok if one of us asks about  _ you _ every once-in-awhile.”

Kashoku sighed again, tapping her fingers against the mug thoughtfully, trying to word her concerns in a way that wouldn’t expose her issue or put Rodd in a compromising position. “I… told myself I wouldn’t do something, at any costs, because of the negative consequences it would have. But…I ended up doing it anyway.”

Rodd crossed his legs, letting his body fall against the ledge of the counter to take a moment to think. “Well, if you knew that it would have negative consequences and you ended up doing it anyway, then you must have really wanted whatever it was.”

_ You must have really wanted whatever it was _ . Those words slammed into Kashoku unexpectedly, a knot forming at the base of her throat. Her knuckles started turning white around her mug. With a shake of her head she swallowed back her tears and smiled sadly at Rodd, “Sometimes it doesn’t matter how badly you want something. The consequences are too great.”

Rodd bit thoughtfully at his lower lip trying to help his friend find a solution, “Is it too late to turn back, then? Whatever it is?”

It couldn’t be too late. Moving forward was not an option. “There’s no other choice but to turn back. Even if it hurts just as badly as going forward potentially could.”

“You’d tell me, if I could help, right?” Rodd asked, a distressed look on his face like he was desperately trying to solve the problem that wasn’t his own.

Kashoku placed a hand to his cheek, his eyes unconsciously closing beneath her touch. “Of course I would. But don’t worry yourself about it, neh?”

Rodd didn’t seem convinced, but hummed in understanding anyway. “Well, alright, but then I have something to ask of you in return.”

Retrieving her cup once more she followed alongside Rodd with a laugh, “Sure thing. What can I do for you?”

“Do you like to dance?”

/*/

Kage’s reflection in the mirror was hideous. It looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks, when in reality it had been two nights. How could she sleep, though, when all she saw was herself as a Hyrin? That scared her far more than anything. But, Janet had medically cleared her. There was no more toxin in her, and she definitely wasn’t craving human blood. She was normal. She was Spiran. That was all there was to it.

That’s what she kept telling herself, anyway.

Ramirez frowned from the doorway, allowing her shoulder to fall against the frame. “We should talk about it. Sooner rather than later.”

Kage sighed, letting her head hang low over the sink, knuckles gripping the porcelain tight. Talking wasn’t going to change what happened, and it was doubtful it would make her feel any better. But maybe it would help Ramirez, and that was enough for her. “Yeah. Ok. But only over tequila.”

Ramirez’s lip twitched up in the mirror. “No shortage of that around here. I’ll get something going. Come out when you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” Kage muttered, rubbing at the back of her neck. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready. Glancing back up at her reflection she saw black. Black hair, black veins. Clenching her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut hard she forced the vision out, her ash blonde strands and yellow skin returning to their normal tone. Sucking in a deep breath through her nose she let go of the sink and left the bathroom, padding her way through the small hallway and into the living space of the apartment. 

Ramirez was already waiting at the table with poured drinks. She was running a finger across the rim of the glass, eyes staring down at the table as Kage took a seat. “So...you want me to start or…?”

“Hammond pulled me into his office - before I left base,” Kage said suddenly, figuring she’d just cut straight to the chase of what had  _ really _ been bothering her.

That caused Ramirez to lift her gaze and pause in her motions. Her jaw tightened before she asked, “What did he want?”

Kage picked up her glass and swirled the liquid around trying to figure out where to start. Raking her tongue across her teeth she raised the glass and took a hard gulp. “He wanted to know why I was the only one who woke up and...why I had so much more toxin in my blood than everyone else.”

Ramirez silently bit at her lip, lifting a hand to rub at the outline of her jaw. “And...what did you say?”

“I said that my Spiran physiology made me more resistant so they had to fuck me up more.” Kage let out a curt laugh before putting down the glass and placing her hands on the side of her face with wide eyes. “But that’s just it...I don’t even know if that’s true. I have no idea why I could resist it. And it scares me. What am I?” A pair of hands was on hers, pulling them away from her face. Tears were slowly leaking out of her blue eyes as she looked up.

“You’re Kage,” Ramirez assured her softly. “Don’t let that shit Bentley keeps spewing out about vampires fuck with you. You’re just you. I’m sure that being Spiran is  _ exactly _ what allowed you to be more resistant to it.”

Kage nodded, but she didn’t really believe it. “You know that asshole threw garlic at me the other day? I didn’t get the meaning behind it until later but... _ fuck _ ,” she let out a laugh, rubbing away the tears.

“I’m going to punch his dick so hard he’s going to have a sex-change,” Ramirez growled, leaning back in her chair and lifting a leg to rest a heel on the edge of the seat. Blowing out air hard enough to move her bangs she tried to explain, “Don’t take it personally. That’s...that’s just how we deal with things after events like this. We have to treat it like a joke or it’ll just...fucking haunt us forever. I mean, honestly,” she laughed, “You should just go as a vampire to our Halloween party in a few weeks. If you want people to stop asking you if you are ok, that’s the quickest way to do it.”

The intention was entirely pure, but there was a sick feeling in the pit of Kage’s stomach at the thought of making a joke out of all this. There was just something all too  _ real _ about her dressing up as a vamp for the party. But she smiled anyway, “Yeah. I might even really bite that asshole in the neck just for kicks.” She probably - no definitely - wouldn’t, but the look on his face after the threat would likely be worth it. 

Ramirez responded with a small smile, taking another sip of her drink. “So….what did you see? When you were dreaming?”

What should she say? Should she tell Ramirez the truth in what she saw, or would her teammate think she was completely insane and go off and tattle to the good doctor or Hammond? Well, she highly doubted she would go that far, but she’d still probably think she was crazy. Instead, she settled with, “Kashoku.”

Ramirez hummed her understanding, showing no surprise at that answer. “I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy. If it was anything like mine it wasn’t pretty.” Lowering her gaze again she sucked in a sharp breath. “I saw my family a few times…”

“Being tortured?” Kage questioned carefully.

“Nah,” Ramirez shook her head and lowered her hands into her lap, absently pulling at the hem of her shirt. “It was about when I came out to them, you know, as gay. They - uh,” she forced a smile, “They didn’t take it well, putting it mildly. It was definitely one of the worst days of my life.”

Kage threw back the rest of her drink giving her the courage to look right at Ramirez while she spoke her next piece. “I’m so sorry. If I had known any of this I never would have -,”

“Stop,” Ramirez whispered, slowly lifting her eyes to meet Kage’s. “You didn’t know. How could you? I just...I panicked. I was so scared that that was it. Someone was finally going to find me out and turn me and my career would be over.”

“Fuck,” Kage propped her elbows up on the table and lowered her chin to her hands. “This shit is so messed up. I can’t even imagine Spira with rules like that.”

“Yeah, well, the world used to be far worse, honestly,” Ramirez shrugged slightly. “It’ll change...with time.” They fell into a comfortable silence, lost in thought with glasses now empty. Eventually, Ramirez got up and grabbed the bottle from kitchen and set it down between them on the table. Silently she sat unmoving for several seconds before speaking, “Kage.”

“Yeah?” Her response was barely audible. 

Ramirez opened her mouth to say something, but nothing was ever spoken as she closed it and retreated back. Shaking her head in dismissal she grabbed the bottle and poured the liquid into the glass. 

/*/

Nothing had really changed between them. Kashoku could at least consider that a small victory, she supposed. It had always been common that the two hung out independent of other teammates, so it never raised red flags. Maybe, just sometimes, Wells seemed to cast an extra glance her way or go out of his way to brush up against her, but never enough to draw attention. 

Yet, she felt like the eye of the entire SGC were always on them.  And her heart still felt heavy. Almost two weeks had passed since the game. Kashoku had spent almost every night wondering if she should break it off now before it got worse, but every morning when she came in to work she would see him and be unable to form the words to do so. Despite telling Rodd that they had to turn back and end this, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

“How about it, Kashy? You up for it?”

Kashoku looked up at Wells. That smile. How could she possibly say no? “Isn’t Halloween still almost three weeks away?”

“The warehouses all opened this weekend,” Carr began pointedly, “If we don’t go get our costumes now everything good will be gone and you’ll be stuck being a bumblebee or some shit. Not that you wouldn’t look fabulous as a bumblebee.”

Kashoku chuckled, “I don’t have the slightest idea of what I want to be. But sure, I’m up for going.” Daniel - and the rest of SG-1 for that matter - had not partaken in the office Halloween party last year, and Kashoku had stayed behind. The archaeologist had silently made it clear he hadn’t wanted her to go, so she hadn’t. 

Their group clearly hadn’t been the only ones thinking far in advance, the warehouse full of people. There were endless rows of costumes, props, and stage make-up. In the end, after Carr spotted the Dorothy costume, they had decided in going as a Wizard of Oz group.

“Obviously Rodd is the Lion,” Carr thrust the costume package into Rodd’s hands absently.

Rodd sighed and took the proffered package without protest, “Of course I am.”

He turned his head to look at Wells thoughtfully, “But which one of us is the Tin-Man, and which one of us is the Scarecrow?”

Wells tilted his head in thought, “Well, I’d say you’re probably a little more heartless than I am, but I also don’t want to be labelled as the idiot.”

Biting at his lip, Carr gave it a moment’s thought before nodding in agreement with himself and his decision, “I’ll be the Scarecrow. I think I’d have a lot of fun with that.”

The team had grabbed a quick drink and a bite to eat at a nearby grill before Kashoku headed back to the SGC. She was surprised to see Kage laying on her bed watching the television. Placing down her bag she sat down on the edge of the mattress and eyed her friend carefully. “Are you...feeling better?”

Kage sucked in a deep breath, “No. Where have you been?”

Changing the subject. Typical. Sighing, Kashoku played along for the time-being. “We went and got our costumes for the party. We’re doing a group Wizard of Oz thing.”

Kage raised a quizzical eyebrow, “The fuck is that?”

Smiling and shaking her head Kashoku responded, “You wouldn’t like it. Do you know what you’re going to go as?”

Without missing a beat, “A vampire.”

Kashoku flinched back slightly in surprise at that answer. “A vampire? Really? I mean...after what just happened?”

Shifting deeper into the mattress she crossed her arms. “Ramirez said if I want people to stop bothering me about the mission and think I’m ok, I should just make a joke out of it.”

Licking her lips Kashoku truly studied her friend. The defensive nature, the lack of eye-contact. Sighing she joined her friend lying down and took her hand. “And are you? Ok?”

Squeezing Kashoku’s hand she swallowed and stared up at the ceiling, “No.” Another deep breath. “There are things...things that happened I haven’t told anyone.”

Kashoku shifted her gaze up towards Kage’s face. There was a clear haunting visible in her features drawing deep concern from her. “Like what?”

There was a moment’s pause. “You know how we all saw something we were afraid of? The things of our nightmares?” Kashoku hummed in response. “The things I saw...I didn’t even understand what I was seeing. I...I didn’t  _ know _ what I was seeing.”

Kashoku lifted herself up enough that Kage would be forced to see her through her peripherals. “What do you mean?”

Kage went on to explain the two men in her dreams and how she had no idea who they were or  _ where _ they had been in any one of the nightmares she had had while under the toxins influence. “I think...I think I want to go back to Spira for a while.”

This was the first time Kage had mentioned going back since she had arrived at the SGC. Kashoku frowned, moving so that she was directly within Kage’s sight. Looking down on her friend with a worried glance she stated, “You want to find that forest.”

Kage sat up on her elbows, finally looking at the other woman. “Or better - those two men.”

There was no point in arguing. Kashoku could sense the flaming determination beneath Kage’s skin. “I should go with you.”

Sitting up fully Kage hummed and shook her head, “No. I should go alone.”

Clucking her tongue in disapproval Kashoku also sat up. “You shouldn’t go alone, especially if you are off looking for uncharted territory.”

“You know I can handle myself,” Kage countered. “Besides, I doubt Hammond would really go for both of us being away. 

That was probably true. Sighing in defeat she let her shoulders slump forward, wrapping her arms around her pulled up knees. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” It was what she was supposed to say, but it was not what she really believed. If these people and these places had really been a part of Kage’s nightmares, they were the last things Kashoku wanted her to find. 

/*/

The red phone rang in their office. Carr was closest, picking it up with a sigh and listening in. “Yes, sir.” There was a click. “Kash, General Hammond wants to talk to you.”

Kashoku turned her chair and responded with questioning eyes. “Did he say what for?”

He shrugged, “I’m just the messenger, I don’t ask questions. He didn’t seem angry or anything.”

Closing her laptop lid she pondered at what he could want. “Maybe it’s about Kage.” She  _ had _ been gone a week. That wasn’t really all that odd, but maybe something had happened? With a quick step she maneuvered her way through the hallways to the elevator and down to Hammond’s office giving a polite knock. She could hear Hammond’s voice telling her to enter and she stepped in. “You asked to see me, sir?”

“Yes,” Hammond nodded, pushing a stack of papers to the side so that he could pay full attention to her. “I asked that Kage check-in with the SGC every 48 hours while she was gone. She had done so religiously up until today. I know that she’s only 24 hours past-due, but I just wanted to let you know, and get your thoughts.”

Kashoku had tried not to worry about Kage while she was gone, but this couldn’t help but make her worry. There were a million reasonable explanations as to why she hadn’t checked in this time. It was quite likely that Kage hadn’t gotten too in-depth into her search and had simply forgotten about it losing track of time. And even with airships, the trek to and from Bikanel to the Thunder Plains could get time consuming and annoying.

Despite her own worry, she decided to approach it from a logical standpoint to Hammond. Plus, Kage would probably kill her if she ran after her after only three days without contact. “I really appreciate you letting me know, sir, but I’m sure she’s fine. It can get tricky travelling to the gate that much from where she was headed. Plus, she gets forgetful when she does things like this.”

With folded hands Hammond smiled and nodded. “I figured as much, but it never hurts to just to verify. I’ll keep you updated on the situation.”

“Sure,” smiling sweetly she excused herself from his office. Despite it all, every possible worst case scenario was running through her head as she walked back to her office.  
  


Another week passed and Kage still hadn’t checked in. Now Kashoku felt her her worry was justified. It wasn’t like her friend was going anywhere relatively dangerous. With all the protective gear these days it was unlikely she would get struck by lightning even if she had ventured away from the towers. Even still, she couldn’t help it. In an effort to distract herself she had passed a glance to Wells on their way to the locker rooms to change and go home for the day. It was to let him know she would be joining him that night.

“I take it you still haven’t heard from her,” Wells spoke from his place at the stove, trying to break the silence that had fallen over the room. 

“Are you cooking mushrooms?”

Wells’s hand froze over the stove and he turned in surprise. Kashoku was still sitting on the couch with Justice watching the television. “Um. Yeah?”

Kashoku turned her head towards him and wrinkled her nose in disgust, “I can smell them.”

“Jesus, from all the way over there? I didn’t even know mushrooms  _ had _ a smell.” Regardless, he reached up and turned the vent fan on high. “I know you hate them. They aren’t for you.”

“I know, sorry,” she apologized, moving up and off the couch and into the kitchen, although she kept her distance to the bar. “It’s been two weeks. Should I be worried?”

“Well she checked in the first week ok, right? She didn’t say how long she’d be gone?”

She shook her head, “No. But knowing Kage, she won’t come back until she’s found what she’s looking for.” Kashoku hadn’t told anyone what exactly had happened, instead simply stating there had been some dress sphere issues and she had gone to speak with the Al Bhed.

“Well, if you’re really that worried I’m sure General Hammond would let you take a day to go check up on her,” he suggested. 

Tilting her head she thought about it before shrugging in agreement, “Yeah, I should. I guess I’ll ask about it tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I know exactly where she is.” Kage would probably be mad, but at least she’d know the other woman was ok. 

“Not the underground, I hope,” Wells cringed slightly as he mixed the stir fry in the pan.  

No, Kashoku certainly wouldn’t go bail Kage out of that situation again. She remembered Kage mentioning lightning in the forest she had been in. “She’s in the Thunder Plains. I’m sure of it.”

The next morning Kashoku did approach Hammond, and he had granted her 24 hours to find and check-in with Kage. Surely he would never admit it, but Kashoku could sense the worry in his words when he required her to take a member of SG-15 or 11 with her. Rodd had eagerly volunteered before Wells could open his mouth having voiced his concern over Kage’s absence at their dance lesson two nights ago. Kashoku was somewhat grateful for that. It was not even a step through on the other side, though, that she wondered if the wrong address had been dialed. 

They arrived in a cave, but it was well lit and several Al Bhed - at least they looked like it - had weapons pointed at them. Kashoku was about to ask what was going on when the chevrons began to lock behind them. Grabbing hold of Rodd’s hand she quickly pulled them out of the way of the event horizon just in time. Three people stepped out onto the newly built platform. That suit was unmistakable.

“Rikku?!”

Rikku paused on the ramp, raising her goggles and placing them on top of her head. Her green eyes shifted to her right and then her face lit up in delight. “Kashy!”

Kashoku was not quite as excited to see her friend. Frowning, she asked, “What were you going through the Stargate for?”

“Um, heh,” Rikku scratched the side of her head with a bite of her lip. “Let’s walk and talk!”

Rodd cast Kashoku an uncertain glance as they followed on behind Rikku. “Why do I have the feeling we aren’t going to like her answer?”

Kashoku groaned, feeling like Rodd’s instinct was going to be exactly right. “Rikku, what’s going on? You’ve practically  _ occupied _ the cave - which is a sacred place for the Cactaur - and now you are going through the Stargate?”

“We-ell,” Rikku lifted a finger to her lip, trying to decide where to start. “The Cactaur have relocated.”

“Relocated or been forced out?” Rodd tread carefully with that question, but couldn’t help but ask it.

Rikku turned so she was walking backwards and grinned nervously, “Heh, well,” and left it at that.

Kashoku instantly halted their party. “Rikku. What. Is going on?”

Knowing she couldn’t stall any longer Rikku let out a heavy sigh. “Come on, Kashy, we’re Al Bhed! How long did you really expect us to stay put knowing there were goodies out in the universe?!”

Instantly Kashoku closed her eyes in disbelief and disappointment. “Rikku, there are  _ dangerous _ things and people out there.”

“So? There are dangerous things here,” Rikku countered. “And  _ you _ do it!”

“Earth has a way of keeping unwanted visitors out,” Rodd argued. “Having a few guards at the gate won’t stop an army of Jaffa if they decide to come through.”

“We’ve been doing this for almost a year now and nothing has happened. Besides,” Rikku shrugged, “even if it did, it’s not like we didn’t handle it before.”

Rodd could only give her a sympathetic look and shrug in agreement with the Al Bhed woman, but this just didn’t sit right with Kashoku. “And everyone is just ok with this? Baralai and Nooj?” She didn’t bother asking about Gippal, knowing very well he was probably heavily behind this endeavor. The look on Rikku’s face said  _ everything _ . “Are you doing this behind their backs?”

“Well, no, of course not,” Rikku shook her head. “But...well. The factions are no longer as you knew them.” That hit deep in Kashoku’s chest. “The planet has more or less become divided into two factions now: The Pathfinders and The Homestead.”

“Those who want to explore, and those who don’t,” Rodd explained out-loud, instantly figuring out the equation. “Just how divided are these factions, exactly?”

Rikku tossed her hands up, “Um, pretty?”

There was a sickening feeling in the pit of Kashoku’s stomach, a hand coming up to her mouth. Just what had become of her planet since she had left? “Who are the leaders?”

Rikku spun around and continued walking, making her way all the way to the end of the cave before answering. “You’re looking at one of them.”

Of course. Kashoku shook her head in further disappointment. “And the other?”

“Ralis.”

The Bikanel sun was blinding, and Kashoku was too frozen to move from its direct beam. That name was doomed to haunt her as long as she lived. “Ralis?” Why would he suddenly decide to get involved in politics?

Rodd stepped in front of Kashoku with concern, blocking the powerful light. “You know this person?”

With a lick of her lips she nodded slowly, “The only thing Ralis is fit for leading is a Blitzball team, and even that is questionable. How did that happen?”

Kneeling down Rikku played in the sand with her finger. “I mean, I don’t really know much, other than he was the one who first started the movement once we announced our faction. I guess since he started it, the followers just elected him their leader.”

Rubbing her gloved hands across her face, Kashoku cringed, unable to shake the feeling that this was somehow her fault with Ralis. “I-we don’t have time to talk about this right now. We need a ride to the Thunder Plains.”

“Hm?” Rikku stood back up. “Are you here for Kage? Ah, thank goodness. Paine told me she ran into her a few days ago and she practically flipped out. Is she ok? Something about red eyes.”

Rodd and Kashoku exchanged worried glances. If Kage was going off on Paine then she really might be in trouble. “Did she say anything else?”

“Not that Paine said,” Rikku shrugged and shook her head. “Gimme a sec to find someone who can help take you.”

Rodd waited until Rikku was far enough out of earshot heading towards a very large tent at the base of some rocks. “You seem worried, and not just about Kage.”

“Worried doesn’t even begin to cover it,” Kashoku spoke softly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Ralis is bad news. I also don’t like Rikku’s implications on Spira’s division over this topic. It seems like we just finally got past all of the hatred and separation.”

Reaching out Rodd placed a comforting hand on Kashoku’s shoulder. “Well, let’s worry about one thing at time. Let’s find Kage first. Maybe she can tell us more since she’s been here longer.”

Kashoku gave him a small smile, but felt no ease in his words. It was highly doubtful Kage did much of anything but search the Thunder Plains every inch of the way. She cared very little for politics as it was, and she was likely to have agreed with Rikku in the first place.

Rikku never returned, sending what was clearly one of her minions out to do her bidding for her so that she could avoid any further questioning. Rodd and Kashoku were escorted on a small cargo ship to the Thunder Plains and dropped off without so much a word from the crew, which had probably been for the best. But the Thunder Plains was no longer what it had been, either.

“Christ, no wonder this place is called the Thunder Plains,” Rodd muttered, staying under the tunnel that led back to Guadosalam next to the transport sphere. When there was no response he looked back at a stunned Kashoku. “Kash?”

Before the Thunder Plains had been almost entirely barren except for the Inn. Now, there were buildings all over, large lightning towers hovering over each one. “What has  _ happened _ to this place?”

Rodd looked sadly at his teammate, unable to find anything comforting to say. Instead he responded, “Is it safe to walk out there while it’s like this?”

Swallowing hard Kashoku gave several small nods, “Yes. Just stay on the path close to the towers. We should check the inns. If we can find wherever she is staying we can wait her out.”

“Good idea,” Rodd nodded in agreement, brave enough to take the lead this time out into the open, almost fascinated with what was going on around him.

The new Thunder Plains gave Kashoku an eerie feel, reminding her heavily of the underground. From what she could tell the same sort of people now frequented this place. Thankfully, the inns were easy to spot and it only took the second try for the innkeeper to acknowledge Kage’s stay there. Booking their own room for the night Rodd downgraded his gear and they took up a small table at the inn’s bar, ordering some food at the first sign of Rodd’s grumbling stomach. He had no problem consuming his own plate and Kashoku’s mostly untouched one while they played a game of sphere break. 

Kashoku sighed as she was defeated for the fifth time. “I’ve always been so terrible at this.”

Rodd smiled sympathetically. “Well, it’s a numbers game. I’ve always been really good with numbers.”

Truthfully, Kashoku cared very little that she had lost. She was far more concerned that it had been almost five hours now and Kage still hadn’t shown. By the sound of it, the storm was hitting a peak outside, so she hoped that would cause her friend to retreat for the night. 

“Does it ever stop? The thunder and lightning?” Rodd watched through the window as a bolt struck the ground less than a hundred feet away. 

“Only once that I can ever remember, and it was for a solid five minutes,” she answered, also eyeing the window before darting them towards the opening door. In walked Kage, dripping wet. She noticed them instantly.

“Didn’t I tell you I’d be ok?” Kage hissed as she slowly meandered over towards them with a defeated but angry stride. “I don’t need your help” The bartender brought her a drink without being asked, obviously attuned to the woman’s presence here. 

“But you haven’t checked in for an entire week,” Rodd spoke, scooting his chair over to allow her more room and move out of striking range.

Kage’s scowl only grew larger, “It hasn’t been a week!”

“Kage,” Kashoku crossed her arms and frowned, “It has. You’ve been here for two weeks.”

Blue eyes grew wide in surprise and realization. Slumping over the table she ran her fingers through her bangs. “No…”

“Kage,” Kashoku started softly, a warm hand on her friend’s thigh. “Did you...find what you were looking for?” Truthfully, she really hadn’t needed to ask the question, and Kage knew her silent response was enough. 

Kage downed the drink in one go, setting the empty glass down and wiping at her mouth and eyes were the water had been dripping down from her blonde locks. “I’m tired...can we go back in the morning?”

Squeezing Kage’s thigh in reassurance Kashoku nodded, “Sure...let’s just go ahead and go to bed.”

They retired to their separate rooms, Rodd quick to strip down to just his shirt and pants before diving underneath the covers. Kashoku waited until she heard the soft snores before she downgraded to a soft night shirt with clear Besaid stitching knowing the ginger-haired man would probably be uncomfortable otherwise. Even as she lay down, though, she couldn’t sleep, mind racing with the day’s earlier events. After tossing turning a few times she gave up and silently padded out of the room and down the hall to Kage’s room.

“Kage?” She knocked softly on the door. There was an instant beeping and the lock released, allowing her to open the door. Kage was wide awake sitting on the bed. Shutting the door behind her she walked over and took a seat next to her friend. She was crying.

“Am I...Am I going crazy?” Kage asked, a hiccup of a sob at the end of the question.

“Kage…” It was all Kashoku could say. She didn’t know the answer to the proposed question and it made her feel completely helpless. Not knowing what else to do she wrapped her arms tightly around Kage and rested her head against her shoulder. 

Kage grabbed at the fabric of Kashoku’s shirt, desperately trying to cling to some sort of reality. “Please. Just...stay with me? I-I have to know that this is real.”

Instinctively she tightened her hug in response. “It’s going to be ok, Kage. I’m here. I’m real. We’re going to go back to Earth and everything will go back to normal. You’ll see….”

  
But even she didn’t believe her own words anymore .


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>   
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General Hammond wasted no time in pulling the three into his office upon their return from Spira. He did not prod them for any information right off, genuinely concerned that Kage had been gone so long and initially only inquiring about her health and safety. But, that passed and he couldn’t help but dive into the purpose for the woman’s visit in the first place.

 

Kage shrugged, trying not to show the disappointment she had to Rodd and Kashoku. “It’s not like people on Spira encounter blood-sucking humanoids on a daily basis, so I doubt I’ll ever have a better answer for you than what we have already concluded. As for the changes in the spheres,” She paused a moment to formulate the lie, “Our understanding of mako is still hypothetical. It is an energy source controlled by the planet, and seems to be ever changing and evolving. Just because we think we understand everything that each dress sphere can do, doesn’t mean  _ really _ do.”

 

Hammond tilted his head in a somewhat understanding, but his eyes so subtly shifted towards Kashoku looking for some sort of confirmation.  “So the technology is evolving on it’s own.”

 

Kage crossed her arms and legs, casually sitting back further in the chair. “As far as any of us can tell.”

 

Kashoku had to give her friend credit where credit was due. It was a quite convincing and even plausible lie. She might even think it wasn’t a lie at all if it weren’t for the fact she knew Kage and could  _ feel _ the deceit coming off of her. But, they could talk about that later. Whatever this was didn’t involve the General at this time. “Sir, if I may, I have some concerns of my own about what has been going on on Spira in our absence.”

 

Eyebrows shot up, his attention finally off Kage now. “Go on.”

 

Sucking in a breath she paused at the top for a brief moment collecting her thoughts before continuing, “Sir, Spira has been sending teams of their own through the Stargate.”

 

There was a small twitch of surprise, but no clear concern, his hands opening in a dismissive gesture. “Well, we can hardly fault them for that when we do the same thing here.”

 

“I told you,” Kage mumbled, crossing her arms to match her legs and looking away when she was cast an angry glance. 

 

“Although that does bother me, that isn’t my primary concern,” Kashoku added, not willing to let this drop just yet. “It’s...well,” she wasn’t really sure how to voice the issue, to be honest.

 

Rodd stepped in helpfully, “It appears to have caused some political unrest, sir. There’s a clear division in those that want to explore and those that do not.”

 

Humming in understanding Hammond folded his hands in front of him on the desk. “You’re concerned it could progress into something worse, like a civil war?”

 

“Among other things,” Kashoku responded truthfully. This had been more or less how the great Machina War had started, after all. Though, “I...question motives and means of the groups being sent through the Stargate.” There was a small side pass at Kage that did not go unnoticed.

 

“You think Rikku is out there pillaging and plundering?” Kage questioned with an amused scoff.

 

Kashoku shrunk in on herself a little embarrassed at the thought, but, “I’m just saying that their intentions likely aren’t as innocent as just exploration!”

 

Shrugging in agreeance Kage responded, “She is Al Bhed.”

 

Although expected, Kashoku frowned at the response and crossed her arms giving Hammond a pleading look. “Sir, I know there isn’t really anything we can do but if you could maybe let the teams know that they might run into groups from Spira and maybe...keep an eye on them?”

 

With a sympathetic smile Hammond reassured her, “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll be sure to brief the teams before their next mission.”

 

Kage rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath, but Kashoku ignored it, thanking Hammond before they were finally dismissed. It bothered Kashoku that Kage didn’t seem worried by the recent changes that had befallen Spira. It should not have been a shock, though, that Kage would side with The Pathfinders. Deep down, surely, the woman had Al Bhed blood in her somewhere. 

 

What bothered Kashoku more than anything, though, was that once they had gotten Kage back to the SGC, it was as though her breakdown had never happened. Kashoku saw shades of it, moments when Kage caught her reflection and startled, or times she’d stop by the other’s room and Kage would seem bothered, but the more Kashoku pushed the more Kage would push back. So, she stopped asking, but tried to make more time to be around her friend. 

 

Then there was this thing with Wells. The confusion in her feelings. They didn’t really act like a couple much. Even when they were alone, there was never cuddling, hand holding, and rarely kissing outside of the actual bedroom. And yet, she was over here almost constantly, and there was always that feeling in the pit of her stomach on those rare occasions when she would wake up with him. 

 

Sighing heavily and pushing all her thoughts aside she put down the curling iron, finally satisfied with the state of her pigtails. Turning it off she unplugged it and set it safely and neatly aside on the vanity. “Hey, I’m ready!” Slipping her red heels she headed out of the bedroom and into the common area where Wells was watching TV.

 

He had covered his face and hands in silver paint to match his shiny costume. THe man was leaning forward on the couch as to not get anything on it despite the easily cleaned leather. “Alright, let’s get going then.”

 

The party was at someone’s house Kashoku didn’t know, but his wife apparently made a lot of money and they lived in a huge mansion allowing them to host such a large and lavish gathering. The street was already lined with vehicles which she was sure made the neighbors very happy. Though, she figured, a neighborhood like this was likely used to such things. The two made their way down the street and started up the long driveway, Kashoku rubbing at her arms as goosebumps started to form in the cold air. 

 

The house and yard were very well decorated, enough so to send an extra shiver up her spine unrelated to the weather. Dark and strange places had always bothered Kashoku, and the few scary movies she had watched with Bentley and Carr had been more than enough for her. There was just something about it that brought back feelings of uncomfortable nostalgia she couldn’t place. Realistic tombstones littered the yard and trash bags made to look like bodies hung from the trees. Kashoku paused at the steps for the slightest moment to allow Wells past her towards the door.

 

Something grabbed her ankle.

 

With a high-pitched scream she yanked her foot away and fell backwards, Wells just barely catching her before she fell to the ground. Scrambling to her feet she grabbed on to his arm and backed them up against the door, Wells letting out a grunt of discomfort at the pressure. There was laughing and one of the bushes by the sidewalk suddenly moved. A man threw back a camo net grinning widely. 

 

Kashoku’s cheeks grew hot in embarrassment. “That was not funny!”

 

“Fuck, Evans, I think she broke my damn ribs! You asshole,” Wells jabbed a finger in the man’s direction while rubbing at his stomach with his other hand. 

 

Evans grinned and gave a thumbs up. “Happy Halloween fuckers!”

 

Tugging at Kashoku’s hand Wells opened the door to the mansion and they entered, the place already packed with people. Dance music played loudly mixed with laughter and conversation. Kashoku didn’t recognize most people, but she supposed that was the purpose of costume parties anyway. She was slowly pulled into the kitchen, weaving through the herds of people, where several large kegs were set up and a self-serve bar. A hand slapped her shoulder.

 

“There’s the rest of the yellow brick road!” Carr was grinning brightly in his scarecrow costume with Michelle by his side dressed as the Wicked Witch. “You losers are the last two to show up.”

 

“Eh? Kage and SG-11 are already here?” Kashoku asked, surprised by the fact anyone on that team could make it on time to a social function. They were all usually thirty minutes late or more.

 

“Already here and about five beers ahead of you,” Carr confirmed, wrapping an arm around Michelle’s shoulders seductively, the woman grinning and slapping him on the rear. 

 

Turning to Wells she spoke over the music, “I’m going to go find Kage.” She left her team behind to bypass the kegs, not really feeling like drinking, and headed for the stairs so that she could better view the crowd. Her height was doing her no favors here. Leaning on the metal railing she looked out over the pool of people. She knew the instant she had found her friend, her grip tightening on the railing and her body suddenly freezing. Black hair and red eyes. Her mouth fell open in surprise. There it was again, another chill up her spine. Why did this feel so  _ familiar _ ?

 

Someone knocked into her, pulling her from her daze. Doing a doubletake to ensure Kage was still in the same location she began the descent back down the stairs and maneuvered through the bodies until she was close enough to tap on her friend’s shoulder. She was pretty sure that was Bentley dressed up as a zombie next to her. “Hey.”

 

Kage turned and looked the other Spiran up and down with a questioning gaze. “The hell is that costume supposed to be?” She wore a tight black corset and leather pants with a pair of fake fangs in her mouth. 

 

“Aw, damn, babe, look at you!” Bentley wiggled his eyebrows under the copious amounts of make-up on his face. “You make one sexy ass Dorothy!”

 

Kage rolled her eyes and shoved him back into a group of people, his beer spilling everywhere in the process. “About time you showed up. Where’s your drink?”

 

“Ah, I’m good for now, thanks,” Kashoku assured her, waving her hands in protest. “Where’s everyone else?”

 

“Doing something called ‘bobbing for apples’, I think. Come on, let’s go.”

 

Kashoku found herself being dragged for the second time that night, barely catching a glimpse of a fight Bentley had apparently started when Kage pushed him. Smiling, she knew this was going to be a long and interesting night.

 

~*~

 

Kashoku woke suddenly, her stomach violently protesting its contents. Jumping out from underneath the covers she dislodged Justice from around her feet and ran to the bathroom, lifting the seat just in time. Food and drink from the party came up and into the bowl, one hand steady on the porcelain while the other tried to hold back her hair. A cold nose brushed against her cheek, the setter whining softly in worry. 

 

Squeezing her eyes painfully shut Kashoku waited for another wave that soon presented itself. It was hard to imagine there was anything even left in her stomach to come up, and yet it still screamed at her as she sat hunched over in immediate defeat. When there was a moment of respite she reached up to flush what had already come out. 

 

“Shit, are you ok?” Wells’s voice was groggy with sleep as he padded up behind her. “You hardly drank anything last night.”

 

Which was true. Kashoku hadn’t felt much like drinking last night, only taking the two or three she had been practically forced to drink by Bentley and Carr. She tried to open her mouth to respond, but instead she began to dry heave, her stomach finally empty. A soothing hand was instantly on her back, Wells taking over hair-holding duties. The sick feeling finally subsiding at his touch, Kashoku drew in a shuddered breath. “Maybe it was something I ate.”

 

“Probably, though I would have figured since we ate the same stuff I’d be puking my guts out with you,” Wells mentioned, his voice much more awake now. “You ok now?”

 

Kashoku groaned in response, “Not really, but there’s nothing left to come up.”

 

Wells slowly stood, releasing her hair and rubbing a quick circle of sympathy into her back. “I think I have some ginger ale since I sometimes mix it with my bourbon. I’ll grab that and some water.”

 

Nodding her head in thanks Kashoku flushed the toilet once more and carefully rose to her feet, turning on the water to warm so she could wipe off her face. She could only remember one other occasion where food had caused her to get this sick. It was never a fun experience. Justice whinned again at her feet, the dog clinging desperately to her side. “ _ Nee _ , Justice,  _ daijoubu _ ! But thank you for worrying.” She smiled as she patted his head, even though she really did still feel sick. It was clear Justice didn’t quite believe her, taking a seat with a huge sigh of protest. 

 

Wells returned with the promised water and ginger ale and set them down on the vanity next to her. “So I’m guessing me cooking breakfast is probably out of the question for you.”

 

“Ah, no,” Kashoku answered with a wince, the thought of food almost sending her back to the toilet. “I might try and eat something light later, but definitely not for a few hours at least. Don’t you want to go back to bed?” She suggested, feeling bad about having woken him up in the first place.

 

“Nah,” he shook his head and leaned against the doorframe, “No point, really. I think I might go run, actually. Make the most of the fact I actually got my ass out of bed early.”

 

“Well, I can take Justice on a walk while you’re gone,” she offered. “Or - well - at least try. I guess if I suddenly don’t feel good again I’m at least outside.”

 

“Ok, well, don’t press it. He knows his way out back if he has to piss.”

 

She put on a smile, “Stop being such a worry-wart. It’s just a little food poisoning, and some fresh air would probably do me good. Go run.”

 

In fact, she did feel better after taking Justice out, the morning air crisp and cold as they moved into November, but there was no wind making it actually comfortable with a jacket. Justice surely enjoyed it with his long coat. She returned long before Wells, the man apparently going on a very long run, and she left a note before grabbing her keys to the Jeep and leaving. She needed a little extra time to get ready at the SGC anyway, and it was always best if they came in separately. 

 

It would be interesting to see who actually managed to show up after last night’s party. To no surprise, Rodd was already in the office by the time she put on her uniform and walked in. “Good morning, Jeremy.”

 

Looking up from his desk he smiled at her with far too much enthusiasm, “Good Morning, Kash. How are you?”

 

“Ah,” she sighed as she set down her coffee cup, “Feeling a little sick this morning. I think I ate something bad yesterday.”

 

“Hope it wasn’t at the party, or we’ll have a lot of sick people around here,” Rodd mused with a slight cringe.

 

Wells wandered in about half an hour later and Carr stumbled in over an hour late with tired eyes and sluggish movement. His head immediately dropped to the desk as he sat and he mumbled something about his head hurting and requesting Kashoku to fix it.

 

“Nope,” she smiled overly sweet, “You did this to yourself. Live with the consequences.”

 

“This is why I never attend SGC functions,” Ellis’s voice boomed from the doorway, hands on his hips and raised eyebrows. “You children have a little too much fun last night?”

 

Kashoku rolled her chair back so that she could poke Carr’s head playfully, “I think just him, sir.” He groaned in response, but remained unmoving. Thankfully, she was feeling better by the minute and even felt like she could eat again.

 

“Drink a gatorade and man the fuck up, Carr,” Ellis ordered as he took a seat on the edge of the desk. There was a muffled ‘sir’ in response. “Listen up, children. I’ve got a very special and important announcement. I’m sure you all haven’t forgotten that this week I have my promotion ceremony, but I won’t be the only one getting promoted.”

 

Carr’s head instantly popped up. “Please tell me Bentley isn’t making Major before me, sir. I might literally die.”

 

“I think it’s hilarious you think you’ll make Major in the first place,” Ellis responded coolly and without missing a beat. “But, no. I’m happy to announce that after being passed over on the board because they are all idiots, General Hammond worked some magic and First Lieutenant Rodd will be Captain Rodd on Thursday.”

 

Kashoku’s eyes instantly lit up and she was throwing her arms around the redhead, her heart almost exploding in her chest with happiness. “Oh my goodness, congratulations!”

 

“No fair, we can’t make him get us coffee anymore,” Wells pouted, but the twinkle in his eye indicated pure jest. “Congrats, LT.”

 

“Lame,” Carr groaned, lowering his head back down.

 

Rodd’s eyes were wide in shock, despite his arms instinctively hugging Kashoku back. “I-are you sure, sir?”

 

“Absolutely. I know it’s real short notice, but things kind of happened quickly and since some jokers are coming in from the Pentagon for my promotion they just wanted to go ahead and throw you in at the same time. Congrats. You don’t have to take shit from these assholes anymore.” He flicked the top of Carr’s ear earning a jump from the Captain. 

 

“We should definitely celebrate!” Kashoku grinned widely, so excited for her friend knowing it would help alleviate some of Carr’s insistent teasing. 

 

“Would you even feel up to it?” Rodd questioned, concerned about her earlier claims of feeling sick.

 

“I already feel better,” Kashoku assured him. It was true, although she thought no matter how bad she felt she would feel up to doing this for him.  “And I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

“Dancing, then?” Rodd suggested with a hopeful grin.

 

“ _ Dancing _ ?” Wells lifted a questioning eyebrow.

 

“I second that,” Ellis added, a finger in Well’s direction.

 

Kashoku rolled her eyes, “I’m sure nothing either of you would be interested in it, but there is alcohol. Jeremy and I go country dancing regularly. He needed a partner and I really enjoy it.” It had been something she and Jeremy had done together away from the team, and it had helped get her mind off Wells when things seemed to get overwhelming. 

 

“Country dancing, of course,” Ellis scoffed, unsurprised after hearing it. “I’ll pass on that one, but you two go Cotton Eyed Joe your hearts out.” Pushing away from the desk he headed towards the door, “I expect all of you to look sharp so sober up!”

 

~*~

 

If someone had asked Kashoku to place money on it, she would have surely bet everything she owned that she’d feel better by mid-week. But then, she’d have ended up with nothing. Once again, Kashoku had woken that morning feeling completely nauseous. 

 

“Are you sure you shouldn’t go see Dr. Fraiser?” Rodd asked with worry as Kashoku doubled over, her face looking awfully green.

 

Kashoku didn’t answer for a moment, waiting over the trashcan to see if anything would come. Nothing happened and with a sigh she shrugged sluggishly, “I don’t know, maybe. I thought it was just food poisoning but it’s been three days like this. I always seem fine in the afternoons.”

 

“Maybe you’re pregnant,” Carr joked, a wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

“Huh? Pregnant?” Kashoku straightened and turned her full attention to him with curiosity. “Are these normal symptoms of pregnancy here?”

 

“They aren’t with Spirans?” He questioned back, showing slight confusion and a little embarrassment, a hand rubbing at the back of his head.

 

Placing a finger to her chin she thought, “Well, I don’t know. It’s very difficult for Spirans to conceive, so pregnancy is a rare thing. Hard to guess what’s normal and what’s not. But, I think I remember Lulu complaining about that at one point. So, maybe?” Her gaze shifted to Wells who had been quite, curious as to his take on the matter. 

 

His eyes were wide and downcast, and his face was pale.

 

Wells was doing his best to make himself small in the room, distress pouring off of him and making Kashoku suddenly feel very nervous. “Brandon? Are you ok?”

 

His eyes darted up uncomfortably fast. There was a pause before he coughed, “Um, I don’t know, I feel really sick all of a sudden. It must be a bug going around.”

 

“Ew, shit, stay away from me then,” Carr rolled his chair back away from his teammate to get well out of breathing range.

 

“Yeah, I-uh, I’m going to maybe go stop by the infirmary,” Wells said, very suddenly standing and rushing out of the office without looking back.

 

That was strange. He hadn’t said anything about feeling sick at all the last few days. “Huh...I wonder if he’s right and there’s something going around? That would explain why this has lasted so long.” Something definitely wasn’t sitting right in the pit of her stomach about the situation, though. “Do you think...maybe I should go with him to see Dr. Fraiser?” 

 

“Uh, duh! I don’t want to get sick,” Carr raised his black undershirt up and over his nose to make his point.

 

“At the very least, Dr. Fraiser can give you something to help with the nausea,” Rodd suggested.

 

Her mind made up, Kashoku stood and headed for the door, her pace brisk in hopes to catch Wells somewhere along the way before he got to the infirmary. As luck would have it, the elevator helped her out, the man still waiting with the button lit up. “Brandon, wait!” He turned his head enough to acknowledge her but quickly looked away. “What’s wrong? Do you really not feel well?”

 

Wells didn’t say anything for a second, his heel bouncing up and down in obvious nervousness. A hand wiped across his mouth before he suddenly grabbed Kashoku’s wrist and pulled her away from the elevators around the corner and away from the crowd. “Are you?”

 

Kashoku waited for him to continue that question but he didn’t, leaving her more than confused. “Um, am I what?”

 

Wells looked like he was about to scream something out but at the last second restrained himself, eyes nervously wandering to check who all could potentially overhear him. Leaning uncomfortably close with a hand on the wall above her head he whispered, “Pregnant.”

 

Kashoku’s head snapped back in surprise and pause, and then she started laughing. “What?! Is that why you acted so sick back there? That’s ridiculous that’s-,” she paused, thinking about how suddenly everything  _ made sense _ . “No, I can’t be I-,” her gaze shifted down, eyes glazing over. “ _ No _ .”

 

“ _ Shit _ ,” he hissed, running a hand over his face. “We need to do a test.”

 

Kashoku shook her head, snapping out of the daze, “Look, no, it’s not possible.” Really, it wasn’t. “Spirans have an  _ extremely _ low conception rate which is why we had to find some way to extend our lives. It’s almost statistically impossible for me to be pregnant.”  

 

“And yet the symptoms are right, aren’t they?” He challenged back, his voice a little harsher than before. 

 

Drawing in a deep breath and closing her eyes she calmed herself from the immediate surprise and shock of the situation. Someone had to be rational in this situation. “Coincidence only, I’m sure of it. Look, I’ll go to the infirmary and prove that it’s nothing more than a bug like Jeremy said.”

 

Wells grabbed at her arm in a panic before she could take even a step away, “No-no-no-no-no!  _ No _ ! You can’t go to Dr. Fraiser! Not until we are absolutely sure!”

 

Biting at her lip, Kashoku knew he was right. Even with as confident as she felt about the situation, if for some chance she  _ was  _ pregnant, she couldn’t risk anyone at the SGC finding out. “Ok, well, what do you suggest?”

 

“My place, after work. I’ll go get a test from the store.”

 

Frowning, she thought about the advertisements she had seen on the TV involving these pregnancy tests. “Is peeing on a stick really that reliable?”

 

Wells shrugged, “Fuck, I don’t know! I guess so!? People do it all the time.” The man looked like he was literally about to pull out all of his hair. 

 

“Fine, fine,” Kashoku placed a hand on his bicep to calm him, his stress starting to flow over onto her making things worse. “Ok. I’ll come over and I’ll take the test. Just..remain calm until then at least, ok? We don’t know anything and there’s no reason to freak out.”

 

But as the hours went on, Kashoku couldn’t help but start feeling anxious herself, eyes almost never leaving the clock. SG-11 didn’t come back from their mission until almost the end of the day so she didn’t even have Kage to distract her. It took every ounce of her to not rush out of the SGC as soon as Wells rose from his seat, but she sat tight, giving him at least a thirty minute head start to stop by the store and get home and, as always, to avoid any suspicion. 

 

Wells wasted no time in shoving the box into her chest the moment she walked through the door. Sucking in a breath and trying to keep her cool she pressed the box back into his chest, “I’m not pregnant.” At this point, though, she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince anymore. 

 

“Fine, then you won’t mind taking the test for me,” he insisted, pushing it back into her hands, his green eyes pleading.

 

Kashoku sighed in defeat and took the box - a little harsher than she normally would - from him. Although she still heavily disagreed with him, she couldn’t stop the feeling of worry that had been growing in her own mind all day. “We don’t even know if this would be accurate for a Spiran.”

 

“You’re still human,” he insisted firmly, crossing his arms defiantly. He wasn’t going to let this go. 

 

Kashoku hummed and turned around, knowing she was just trying to come up with an excuse at this point, “ _ Hai, hai. _ ” She didn’t bother closing the door behind her as she stepped into the bathroom. The directions were simple enough, although she still wondered how accurate something like this could be. On Spira, a simple scan spell could pick up a second life-form after a given time period. She should have done that from the start, but...She was afraid what it would show. Opening the box she took out the stick and settled in on the toilet.

 

A few minutes later she returned to the bedroom, stick in hand, and placed it on the nightstand. She couldn’t bare to be the one to look at it, turning her back to it and taking a seat on the bed. Justice joined her immediately as she sat. Scratching his head with an uneasy smile she whispered,  _ “A _ _ nata wa Otōsan wa orokadearu sa rete imasu, neh?!”  _ At least, she hoped that was really the case.

 

Several minutes passed in silence, Kashoku ignoring Wells for Justice until she was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of straight despair. Her heart felt like it was in her throat as she hesitantly looked up from the dog where Wells was starting at the stick with wide eyes. She knew what it read. With a shaky breath she suggested, “Let’s...let’s just make sure. I...we have to be sure.” Clutching at the ring on the chain around her neck she closed her eyes and felt a warmth roll down her body as the scan took place. When she opened her eyes scrolls of Spiran text filled her vision with statistics. 

 

“Well?” Wells breathed, hopeful that she would say something different than the stick he held in his hand. 

 

Gasping she blinked hard to end the scan and met his gaze with wide eyes, tears instantly forming. “I’m pregnant.”

 

~*~

 

“Do you think it’s too much? I mean, it’s a huge change,” Kage couldn’t help but stare at herself in the mirror, uncertain about the reflection it showed.

 

“If we weren’t in public, I’d wanna fuck you right now,” Ramirez said, an obvious answer from her point-of-view. “I mean, it freaks me out just a little with that whole Hyrin thing, but damn if it doesn’t suit you.”

 

Despite it going against military regulations, Kage had shrugged anyway and kept a few strands of the blonde around her bangs, but the rest of her hair was now pitch black. It felt  _ right. _ “Kashy is going to freak.”

 

Grinning Ramirez cocked her head as she took in one last good look at her friend in the mirror, “Yeah, probably. But more because you did it without her.“

 

“I tried to invite her,” Kage sighed, finally looking away from her reflection, “but she hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts. You think something is wrong?” She handed the hairdresser her tip before they headed to the front to pay for the services, Kage just handing the receptionist the card without wanting to hear the full amount. 

 

Ramirez shrugged and shook her head, “She’s been sick, right? Maybe she’s just sleeping it off.” 

 

Kage hummed as she haphazardly signed the receipt and shoved the card back in her pocket, the two stepping out of the store. “I dunno. Maybe.”

 

“Ok, what’s bothering you?” Ramirez asked, giving in to the hints being dropped by her friend’s demeanor. 

 

“I don’t know,” Kage shrugged, tilting her head towards the darkening sky. “A lot of things. Nothing. Everything.”

 

“Wow, really narrows it down,” she teased, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets as they slowly walked down the sidewalk of the street. 

 

Biting at her lip, Kage pondered where to even start. Try as she might, things had not returned to normal after coming back from their encounter with the Hyrin.  Maybe, they never would, and that scared her more than anything. “I had another dream.”

 

Ramirez’s stride instantly slowed. “Was it...about that place, again?”

 

Good question. It wasn’t the normal forest, but instead a stone fortress...maybe even a castle? “I think so. Different, but...yeah, I think it was still the same place. Dark. Wet. Loud. I mean, I’ve always found a good thunderstorm to be relaxing, but even this is a bit overkill.” Like the Thunder Plains, the storms never stopped in the place in her dreams. It was why she had felt so certain she’d find answers there.

 

“You know,” the Latina started, “you should think about writing this shit down. Obviously these dreams all connect somehow. Maybe, if you can keep track of them on paper you can find that connection easier?”

 

Kage had thought about it, honestly. But there was a part of her that didn’t want to remember those dreams. She wasn’t sure why, but the feeling was enough to distance herself from the idea. “You really think that it means something?”

 

“Don’t you?”

 

Unfortunately, she did. And so had Kashoku. “Guess time will tell.”

 

Ramirez halted and reached for the handle of the door to the place they had stopped at, opening the door with an inviting hand. “Come on, I need a drink if I have to listen to all of this, and you need one if you’re gonna tell it.”

 

Kage frowned with narrow eyes, but walked in anyways. “You say that like there’s more for me to say.”

 

“Oh? That’s all that was bothering you?” She joked, grabbing a seat at the bar and shrugging off her jacket.

 

“No,” Kage admitted, taking the seat next to her and doing the same. 

 

“Knew it,” the woman grinned, an elbow resting on the bar with anticipation. “So, what else?”

 

After giving her order to the bartender she crossed her arms and leaned against them. “It’s kind of stupid, but, I really feel like I see Kashy less and less these days. It’s not like she’s purposely avoiding me or anything, but I do feel like she’s always gone.”

 

‘With Wells, you mean,” she remarked, casually taking a sip of her beer. 

 

Kage’s back snapped straight. “Well,  _ yes _ , but I wasn’t going to say that.”

 

Ramirez chuckled, “ _ Chica _ , that’s been going on since before you ever came to the SGC. I mean, come on, Major Ellis is married, Carr is married, and Rodd is just a natural loner. That didn’t really leave anyone else for her  _ but _ Wells. Does it bother you that much?”

 

Did it? Kage drummed her fingers against the wood, contemplating it. She had never been bothered by Wells that she could remember. He wasn’t exactly her favorite, but he wasn’t a Daniel Jackson, either. Maybe the problem was she didn’t  _ know _ exactly where he fit in in this huge dynamic. Kind of like Ramirez. They were attached to the hip about as much as Kashoku and Wells, but they still hadn’t really talked about just  _ what _ they were. 

 

Settling back against the back of her chair she finally answered, “No. Not really. Curiosity more than anything, I guess. They’ve kissed once, so what’s to say they won’t do it again.”

 

“I’m definitely not saying they aren’t attracted to one another,” she pointed out, “but attraction and feelings are completely separate. I mean shit, I’m not into dick but I think Major Rafe is one fine piece of meat.”

 

“What?” Kage’s eyes went wide with shock and delight at the statement. “No way!”

 

“Come on, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Ramirez countered, grinning as she shifted in her chair to better face the other woman. The burning red cheeks totally gave away the answer. “ _ See _ ? Can’t group the two things together all the time.”

 

Kage tilted her head side to side, cracking her neck. “Whatever, I’m not bothered by them either way. I just...get a feeling she’s hiding something. But,” she sighed, “Who am I to speak on that?”

 

Ramirez put down her beer, her bright expression dimming, “Kage, look-,”

 

“I know, I know,” Kage waved her off, the two having had this conversation more than enough times before, “I can’t tell her anything. And I won’t. I promise.” It just felt wrong, keeping secrets from Kashoku after everything they had been through. A hand found it’s way on her thigh underneath the bar. Her eyes shot up, meeting Ramirez’s in surprise. 

 

“Maybe one day, it’ll change,” Ramirez hoped, “but for now..this is just the way it has to be.”

 

~*~

 

They had argued for hours. At first it had been complete and utter denial and then it had been sheer panic. When it came time for solutions...that was when it had gotten downright ugly. Both of them had cried at some point, dried tear stains on both their cheeks. It was almost completely dark now, neither speaking or moving in the silence. It wasn’t until the timer on the lamp kicked in and light finally flooded the room that Kashoku took in a shuddered breath.

 

“I’m not terminating the pregnancy,” she started, her voice raw from both crying and yelling. “But I don’t want to ruin your life, too. I...I don’t have to tell them who the father is.”

 

Wells was silent for a moment before brushing a hand down his tired face. “Then what? You’ll be bombarded with questions on who the father is, harassed by those who have morals against that, and then you’ll be stuck being a single mother.”

 

“So, I tell them I don’t know. I’ve had a few flings and nothing was serious and I’m not really interested in who the father is. If anyone wants to berate me on my decisions then they can speak with Kage about the matter. And...yes, I’ll be a single mother, but I won’t be alone. If necessary, I’ll go back to Spira for a while to raise the child.”

 

Wells looked up at her, the anger finally gone leaving only sadness. “But would you come back?”

 

She clenched her jaw and swallowed, eyes cast down and away from him. “I don’t know. But this is the best option we have right now. To protect us. All three of us.”

 

Licking his lips he ruffled his hair with an absent hand and turned his eyes to stare back out the window. “So...will you ever tell the kid about me?”

 

“Do you want me to?” She questioned, maybe a little quicker than she should have. Feeling the need to backtrack she added,  “I...you never talked about having children. Was that ever something you wanted?”

 

There was a slow shrug of shoulders, “I thought about it a few times, but I guess I never really pictured myself with the quintessential white-picket fence and big family. Never really thought I was suited for it. But,” his hands played with each other absently, “if there’s going to be a kid then yeah...I guess eventually I’d want them to know about me.”

 

“Well, then, one day I hope I can tell them about you,” she smiled encouragingly, but she doubted it was convincing given the circumstances. She’d do everything she could to make that possible, regardless. “You won’t be in the military forever, right?” 

 

He smiled back, but it was clearly forced. “So...how do we do this?”

 

Sighing, Kashoku hugged a knee close to her chest. “You...you don’t do anything. I will have to tell Major Ellis before our next mission. I can’t go through the gate any more.”

 

Wells nodded, knowing that was true. “Should probably wait until Friday, though. I’d hate to ruin his promotion ceremony with this news.”

 

Oh, she had forgotten all about that. Resting her cheek on her knee she let another sigh. What would he say? How angry would he be? His reaction scared her far more than General Hammond’s. She cared far more about it. “I’ll definitely wait, then.” It was almost entirely muffled as she turned her head away and pulled up the other leg. It took everything she had not to start crying again. 

 

Wells suddenly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in, a sigh of relief and content escaping her lips as she sunk against him and snaked her own arms around his upper thighs. “I’m so sorry…”

 

“No,  _ shit, _ no,” Wells breathed, a slight quiver in his voice, “It’s me who should be sorry. I started this shit and then wasn’t more careful.”

 

Kashoku gave his stomach a small nuzzle with her cheek, “We both started it, and we both were careless. I’m just sorry this had to happen. I never wanted anything to happen to you.”

 

“I knew the risks,” Wells assured her, an obvious knot at the back of his throat as he spoke. “I...Kash...you don’t have to take the fall for me.”

 

Shaking her head against his skin she clung tighter, “No, I can’t let you get in trouble for this. The consequences for me are far,  _ far _ less. I would never forgive myself if our child had to watch you grow up behind bars.” Wells didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. They stayed like that until Kashoku could feel her heart calm back to it’s regular beat and then she pulled away. “I should probably head back to the SGC.”

 

“Are...you sure?” He asked, stepping back to allow her to stand from the couch. 

 

“I don’t think staying here would be a good idea given upcoming events,” she warned, padding over to the side-table to grab her phone. One look at it and she was cringing, “Three missed calls and 20 texts from Kage. I definitely should get back.”

 

Shoving his hands into his back pockets he nodded, “Yeah ok. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah,” she nodded, sluggishly grabbing her purse and opening the door, unable to allow herself to look back again as she shut the door behind her. She cried almost the entire drive back to the SGC. It took her a good ten minutes sitting in the Jeep wiping her face to make sure she didn’t look as miserable as she felt. Thankfully, either no one noticed her red eyes or they didn’t care. 

 

“There you are, for fuck’s sake!”

 

Kashoku finally looked up from the floor, eyes meeting red. She jumped back and gasped at the sight, but a blink and it was gone, Kage’s normal blue eyes frowning at her. Great, on top of everything now she was becoming delirious. 

 

“Damn, do you hate it that much?” She quipped, a small smirk tugging at her lips.

 

Black. Kage’s hair was black, and this time it wasn’t some wash-out costume dye. “What? Oh, no, no, sorry you just startled me. It...definitely suits you. Has anyone else seen it yet?” Just like at the Halloween party, she was struck with an odd feeling of familiarity at Kage’s new look. 

 

That made Kage grin widely as they started to walk together, “Colonel O’Neill. He said it made me look even scarier than usual.”

 

Kashoku chuckled softly at that, “I’m sure that made you very happy.”

 

“I tried telling you I was going with Ramirez to get it done, but you never answered your fucking phone,” She cast an accusing side-eye at her friend. 

 

“I’m sorry, I left my phone here before I went out,” Kashoku apologized, the lie easily slipping off her tongue for once. Kage was finally rubbing off on her after all these years. 

 

But even her best lie was not convincing enough for Kage. Though, she let it die with a, “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Jamming the button for the elevator they waited in silence for it to arrive and the doors to open. “So, you wanna drink and watch some movies?”

 

“Ah,” Kashoku paused. If she avoided Kage completely there would only be questions she was most certainly not ready to answer. “Movies, sure. I’ll pass on the drinking.”

 

“You don’t want to drink? What?!” Kage frowned, pressing the button for their floor.

 

She wanted to down entire bottle of wine, to be honest, but that was completely out of the question for the next nine months of her life. “I’m still a little iffy, you know, that bug and all. I don’t want to push it with the promotion ceremony tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Kage sighed, agreeing enough with that excuse not to drag it out any further than that. “Well, guess I’ll just have to drink enough for the both of us. So, who gets pick tonight?”

 

~*~

 

The ceremony had been held in one of the upper levels that had minimum security risks allowing Amy to be present and help pin on Colonel Ellis’s new rank. Since Rodd’s family couldn’t be present, he had asked Kashoku to do that honors which she took on proudly. Although Wells’s uniform had been crisp and clean, the man looked a mess that morning. Clearly, he had gotten just about as much sleep as she had. 

 

They at least somehow managed to keep the normalcy between them. Wells had put the blame for his disheveled look on Justice for keeping him up all night barking. Kashoku had blamed Kage, which was only a half-lie. Wells had been able to at least keep up with Carr’s jokes during their lunch off-post which was more than Kashoku could say. On more than one occasion something had to be repeated to her, earning her worried prodding from Amy. 

 

When Carr suggested they go out to celebrate that night, Kashoku had thought long and hard about it. The distraction would be greatly welcomed, but there was no excuse other than the truth that she could feed Carr that would get him to not throw drinks at her all night. So, she had declined. Rodd’s pleading face almost had her changing her mind, knowing he was likely to have a rough night, but she held her ground. She had hoped Kage would be there to help distract her with another movie night, but they had been assigned a mission that morning and were gone. She would be on her own. 

 

It was another sleepless night, and then Friday was suddenly upon her. That morning she had been forced to use makeup to help hide the circles or else there’d be questions. On top of it, her sickness had been the worst it had been that morning, a combination of the pregnancy and the sheer dread of what she had to do today. On several occasions she had thought about pushing it out another day, but Hammond had called a briefing to go over their next mission. She couldn’t delay no matter how badly she wanted it.

 

Wells didn’t even look at her as she walked into the office. Kashoku was grateful. Every ounce of strength was needed, and she knew one lock of eyes would drain her of it. Quietly saying her ‘good mornings’ she turned on her computer and drowned herself in whatever mindless activities she could before it was time for their briefing. 

 

Kashoku’s mind wandered most of the hour, unconcerned with the details of a mission she wouldn’t be attending. It was a support mission, she thought. SG-6 was leading, or maybe 7? Her hands were shaking. The lights had just come on signalling the end of the brief. The sound of papers being shuffled seemed to be amplified as the rest of the team started to move around her. Purposefully, she was the last one out of the room, Ellis only a few feet in front of her.

 

Her entire body seemed to be shaking now. Tears already were threatening her vision. Squeezing her eyes shut she drew in a deep breath and clenched her hands. It was now or never.

 

“Sir, do you have a moment? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
